Noa woke Monday morning to their alarm. They turned it off and decided to be sick today. They woke again when Ciel knocked. “No, I’m sick. Go ahead without me.” Noa buried their face back into their unicorn stuffie. A moment later there was a harder knock, more demanding. Noa knew it wasn’t Ciel, and knew there’s only one person Ciel would have let in. “No, I don’t wanna!” they yelled louder this time.

“Noa,” Em’s voice was low and comforting instead of his usual loud and energetic. “Just come to DI and calculus. I don’t want you to get behind.” He sounded sincere.

Noa thought about it. DI was a responsibility they took pride in. Getting behind in math would suck too. They really didn’t want to risk seeing Iris today, but they also didn’t feel like they should be the one hiding. Iris was the one that hurt them. Noa was the victim.

“I-if you still don’t feel well, I’ll take you to the nurse after class” Marceau’s voice came again through the door, still warm and sincere, but less confident.

“Promise?” Noa called out as they waded through their mess to reach their uniform. They looked at the skirt they’d planned on wearing when Em affirmed the promise. “Just a moment.” A part of them felt like reaching for slacks instead, felt like trashing nearly everything feminine they owned. They took a deep breath, remembering to not let someone else dictate who they are. They are Noa. A confusing confused teenager who wore whatever whenever because it made them happy. They slipped the skirt on followed by the knee socks and their double strapped Mary Janes. They pulled on their button down and added a gradient rainbow tie. It took all of five minutes to put on light makeup and get their hair to lay just right. Looking in the mirror something was wrong. Their arms were bare, and it felt lonely. They grabbed the uniform cardigan that they’d normally not wear while it was still warm, but slid it on anyway.

They stepped out to find just Em waiting. For a moment, Noa felt like they finally saw what others saw. The well groomed dirty blonde hair, green eyes that while they were the same as Ciel’s, were just overwhelmingly beautiful with Em’s darker hair and skin tone. With a soft crooked smile he was charming, to say the least. Further down he was fit without being bulky. The quiet confidence he carried as he walked was just the cherry on the top. He didn’t take his eyes off Noa as he motioned for them to go first. Noa turned and led the way, fighting the blush that wanted to cover their face.

DI went smoothly, and even calculus. Noa started to fidget as the time the next class drew closer. Once the bell rang they looked absolutely about to shake themselves to pieces. Tani and Em pulled them aside in the hall.

“I promised, do you want to go to the nurse?” Em instinctually wanted to wrap an arm around Noa and protect them, not just from Iris, but their own fears. He held back though and allowed Tani the space to do so for Noa.

Noa didn’t relax into Tani’s touch, scared because they had no idea what had happened after they left Saturday night. “She’s in your next class, right?” Tani asked quietly. Noa nodded, feeling like maybe Tani understood. “Give me your schedule, I’ll get your work. Let Em take you to the nurse.” Noa nodded again and fumbled in their bag to get their schedule for Tani.

“I-i don’t know how to thank you,” Noa looked up at Tani. Things had just been sketchy between them and now they’re depending on her in a much darker situation.

Tani took the schedule looking down at it for a moment, “Don’t thank me.” She said it resolutely and raised her eyes back to Noa’s, “We’ll talk about it another time. Go take care of yourself.” Tani squeezed Noa with the one arm she had over their shoulder.

Em and Noa set off for the nurse’s office at a slow pace, the quiet between them was comfortable. Even so, there was a question nagging in Noa’s mind.

“Why are you doing this for me?” Noa asked.

“Because we’re not friends,” Em wasn’t sure when Noa would start to hate that phrase. He hoped it would be soon.

“What would you do if we were?”

Em’s memory of holding Ciel in the closet that Sunday came back to him. “I would hold you until you stopped crying.”

Noa peeked at Em from the side. “I’m not crying, Marceau.”

He turned to look at Noa as they drew up to the nurse’s door, “Maybe not on the outside.” Em reached out and placed a hesitant hand to Noa’s cheek. Their eyes widened in surprise and he felt the warmth of their blush under his palm. Em thought better of what he was going to say, and took his hand back and ushered Noa into the nurse’s office.

Noa stepped into the office to turn and find Iris sitting already, waiting. Noa balked and backed up into Em, who was close behind. The nurse looked up, “Oh Noa come on in,” she waved as Noa stepped back in, so flustered they had no words. As Em stepped in he saw what had made Noa balk. He stepped beside Noa, blocking Iris from them. With a gentle hand on Noa’s shoulder he moved them forward.

“Uh, Miss Santos?” She looked at Em as she was bent over her files digging for who knows what. “Can I just take Noa back to their room?”

She furrowed her brow, “just have a seat for now, I’ve got to see what’s going on with Iris yet.” She finally found whatever she was looking for as Em took Noa to the chairs by the door. He kept himself between them, but felt Iris’ intense gaze on him.

As Em sat back Iris leaned forward trying to catch Noa’s eyes. To Em Iris didn’t look very good either. Her makeup was already a mess, and her usually darker skin seemed pasty and drawn, and her hair seemed to be barely brushed, never mind all the work she normally puts into herself. He knew they’d eventually talk, and eventually they’d be friends again, but he found himself worried for their health in the interim.

“Ok, Iris, come with me,” Miss Santos led Iris through a door that went to a more private area. Noa and Em couldn’t hear what was being discussed. Their comfortable silence came back and this time Noa didn’t interrupt it.

When Miss Santos came back she called Noa up to the desk. They spoke in hushed tones, but Em could hear the excuse that Noa was giving her. The nurse rifled through her drawers again, this time it was much easier to find the file she had on Noa.

“Now this,” she held up a letter from Noa’s doctor, “is last year’s, we need an updated letter. I’ll call your mother about that to remind her. I can send you back to your dorm but without a current letter I can’t give you access to your medication. Will you be ok if this young man takes you?”

Noa nodded, keeping their head down. Miss Santos waved Em to come up to the desk, “What’s your name? I need to fill out a pass.”

“Noa,” Em broke the silence as they arrived at NBH. They turned to him before unlocking the security door. “Do you have lunch? Should I send Ciel with something…”

Noa sighed and looked down shaking their head, “No, I have something. Thank you, Marceau.” They turned and entered their hall as Em watched.

Em: I feel so useless.

Ciel: I’m sure you’re not useless.

Em: I’m falling. I never meant for this.

Em: It’s breaking my heart to see them like this.