Eliza sniffed pitifully and sat hunched on her couch looking at nothing. There was shuffling over in the kitchen and the sound of water being poured, but she didn’t dare look over. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to look her roommate in the eye again no matter how many pep talks she gave herself.

It was like trying to hype up her dog: You can do it Eliza! Go for it Eliza, it’s only eye contact, Eliza! Good girl, she can barely tell she made your clit feel like a TV antenna trying to get reception!

There were however far easier things to do in the world than looking at your roommate after you memorized their climax voice the night before. Eliza was determined to look at the wall that morning and nothing else.

“You want some honey in your tea?” Mickey asked in a normal-person totally casual human voice.

“I-eh, I, yeah.” Eliza responded in a not normal person totally casual human voice. She switched from staring at the wall to staring at her feet in the hopes it would give her strength.

You can do it Eliza! It’s only hormones! Or your repressed sexuality! Or the fact you're a dirty pervy sinner bound to be crushed by titties in hell as retribution!

Her feet weren’t helping.

“K.” Mickey clinked a teaspoon against the side of two cups and then came muddling over. Eliza forced herself to look up as she joined her in the living room. Mickey kept yawning that day and looked loose-limbed and a little unwashed. “How’re you feeling?”

Eliza looked at the place right behind Mickey’s right ear. “Much better!” She said in a high-pitched voice that rivaled Mini Mouse. “Thanks to you.”

Mickey arched an eyebrow at her, but didn’t comment. “Nah, I’d been thanking your immune system if I were you.” She put the tea down in front of her, “and this baller tea I’m about to give you. I’m telling you, Throat Coat is the real og of any tea aisle.”

Eliza gave a small smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She reached for her tea for something to do with her hands and Mickey took a seat in the armchair to her left.

“Did you sleep alright?” There was a flash of something in Mickey’s eyes as she asked that question.

Eliza just nodded enthusiastically. “Like the dead!” Her smile widened into something that felt like plastic being poured over cement as she lied. “Didn’t wake up again until like 5am.”

“Ah. Very good.” Mickey just nodded and they sat in silence for a long stretch of seconds.

“So,” Eliza mustered every bit of courage she had left in her small frail body and turned to her. “You wanted to talk to me about something?”

Mickey shifted in place and drummed her fingers against the side of the ceramic mug. “Yeah, it’s a little… I mean, you seem cool, so I think you’ll take it cool, but, uh, some people can react badly. Ya know?”

Eliza cocked her head to the side. Mickey wasn’t usually one for rambling. “Sure,” she said steadily. “You know me.” She indulged in a wry smile. “I always aim to be as cool as possible.”

Mickey hooded her eyes, “Are you teasing me?”

“Never.” Eliza hid her smile by taking the first gulp of tea. It burned her tongue slightly but she swallowed it one go. It tasted sweet, light, and made a lovely soothing path down her throat.

“Ha, ha.” Mickey shook her head. “Alright, stiff. First of all, I meant to tell you earlier, but you were gone so often I didn’t really think it’d be a problem…”

Eliza bit her bottom lip. “Is it,” she lowered her voice. “A long distance relationship?”

Mickey sighed and put her tea down on the coffee table. “Let’s say, a whole bunch of long distance relationships. With strangers. Who pay me.”

Eliza furrowed her brow and gave Mickey a steady look. “Go on.”

Mickey drew a deep breath and sat all the way up in her chair. “I’m a cam girl. That night you walked in on me, that’s what I was doing. I was camming.”

“Ooooh,” Eliza put all the pieces together like a puzzle she was willfully jamming the corners into wrong earlier. “Like, uh, like online.”

“Like online.” Mickey confirmed. “Like sex work."

“Ah-huh.” Eliza nodded again since she wanted to be cool. “Okay.” She said, “Alright, yeah, okay. Can I ask a few questions?”

Mickey exhaled. “Yes, oh God.” She gave a relieved smile. “As long as they don’t start with ‘when can I kick you out?” She gave a strained laugh.

Eliza straightened up. “Kick you out? No way. No. That’s… I’m not a total jerk.”

“I know, I know,” Mickey gave her a shy look. “I’ve just had friends that didn’t react so well when I told them. You know the old ‘what does your mom think?’ And ‘what if someone you know finds your videos?’ And ‘where’s your self respect?’ And all that.”

Eliza puffed her chest out. “What? I’m an art history major, I look at nudes all day every day. It’s no big deal.” They shared a tentative look and Mickey ran a hand through her hair.

"Alright," she said and tossed her head to the said. "That is cool." Mickey gave her another searching look before clearing her throat. "Full disclosure, I work for this site called ‘Starlightcams’ and do shows on Fridays and Saturdays. I used to do Sundays too, but I gotta focus on school stuff too right now.”

Eliza blinked a couple times. “Are you gonna keep doing them?”

Mickey winced. “Yes? I was hoping so. It is currently the thing paying for rent right now…”

“Of course.” Eliza leaned forward. “Totally, you can do shows whenever.”

Mickey chuckled. “I’m not sure you’d like being kept awake like that… I know our walls aren’t that thick.”

Eliza winced herself and looked up at the ceiling in the hopes it would have a hidden note written there that gave her the secrets to life, the world, and how not to reveal the fact you’ve been eavesdropping on your roommate. “We’ll have good boundaries!” Eliza announced with one big breath, “I’ll knock whenever I come home. And you let me know when you have shows! What time are they by the way?”

“Two hours, from 7 to 9.” She said factually. “It’s all by the book. I keep all of my information private and I only have a handful of regulars anyway. I’ve only ever mentioned having a roommate a couple times, so no worries about you.”

“You’ve… mentioned me on it?”

Mickey got very pale. “Only as ‘my roommate!’ I, uh, talk about my day on the show, but never in detail or anything.”

“K…” Eliza processed that sentiment slowly. She talks about me, Eliza reflected to herself. She says things. She has opinions on my existence.

That sentiment sat very heavily on Eliza like something she wanted to cut into bite sized pieces and swallow bit by bit.

“Anyway,” Mickey took a deep breath. “It’s just like any other job, promise. But more naked I guess.” She said as she scratched the back of her neck.

Eliza lifted her chin up. “Like working at Arby’s but naked, got it.”

Mickey let a surprised laugh. “Exactly! Naked Arby’s.” She giggled. “We should hang out more, I’m serious about that part.”

Eliza lit up, though two different parts of her were warring: the part that sizzled when Mickey touched her waist vs the part that liked the way she smiled like a capsizing ship. Lopsided and ready to drown you.

“I’d like that.” She said and tried to match Mickey’s smile. “I mean, how could I say no? You saved my life from going into work and coughing on all the customers.”

Mickey snorted roughly. “Oh they definitely deserve it.” She said with a twinkle in her eye, “but you’re welcome.”

They exchanged a few more playful words before Eliza finished her tea and retreated to the kitchen. She felt some exhaustion flood over her as she washed her cup. She had survived their talk, but felt somewhat dizzy and almost sea sick from it.

Her roommate wasn’t in some sexy, harrowing long-distance relationship. She was single, she was cute, and she was camgirl.

Eliza barely knew what to do with that information.