Em retrieved the bracelets as he watched them walk away. He called Ciel to find out where Iris was.

“Hey”

“Hey, umm do you know where Iris is?”

“No, and I don’t really care.” Ciel sounded angry.

“Well Noa is headed back to NBH, can you at least make sure she’s not waiting for them?”

“Yeh,” their voice softened.

“And can you wait there for me. I have some food for your fridge.” Em was tired, but was determined to drop everything off before dropping into bed.

“Yeh, I’m here. Iris isn’t. I see Noa now.” Ciel was quieter.

“I’ll be right there.” Em hung up first. If his assumption was right, it sounded like Ciel was a witness to what went down. As curious as he was, he was also very tired, and had to be back in to work at 12. The dorms came into view as he debated asking Ciel about it tonight or tomorrow. He watched as Noa wrapped Ciel in a hug. Their shoulders sagged, they looked broken. They left a kiss on Ciel’s forehead then turned, entering NBH and the safety offered there.

Em approached quietly, “Here’s some sandwiches and sodas.”

“Did they tell you?” Ciel asked in a hushed tone.

“A little. Just the basics I guess.” Em shrugged feeling his energy waning.

Ciel opened the NBH security doors, “come on in, you look dead. Sleep over.”

Em considered it, but shook his head, “I know that NBH is Noa’s sanctuary. I will let them have that tonight. Maybe another time.” Em hugged Ciel tight before ruffling their hair and wishing them a good night.

Back in his own room, he moved around the room in the dark since Kris was asleep. He stuffed the bracelets in the back of his top drawer, and then took a blind shower before finally falling into bed and passing out.

Sleep was less simple for Noa. The strained conversation with Marceau weighed on their mind. It had been so simple. Just a few words. But hearing him say, “you’re not a girl.” It was validating, refreshing, and yet crushing at the same time. They had no genitalia, they were neither male nor female. While many of the GMNBs had declared their gender as children, Noa had never felt sure enough to make that decision. For a long time it had been a push to decide one or the other, male or female. Iris chose to be female? No, Iris was female, she chose to transition.

Noa felt betrayed by Iris. The only person who knew how much anxiety Noa had over not transitioning. She’d listened time and time again to Noa crying over the pressure they felt from their parents and doctors. But tonight, she threw that out. They were playing around, singing, dancing, making a mess of Iris and Tani’s room. Maybe it had been Noa’s fault. They enjoyed an intimate friendship with Iris. She was the only friend who actually knew what Noa looked like under their clothes. They’d felt safe with her.

As the sun set and they hadn’t put lights on in the room yet, Noa sang along with the ballad playing, a smile on their lips as they held Iris. Iris broke the reverie by pressing her lips to Noa’s. They hesitated before pulling away. Wide eyed Noa looked at their best friend as she spoke in hushed tones.

“I love you, Noa. I’ve loved you a long time. I want you to be mine. I want you to be my girlfriend.” The softness of her voice was enchanting at first. It was intimate and sweet.

To Noa it hadn’t been an endearing confession. It had been like a sweetly flavored poison invading their body, pumped further with each heartbeat, burning with betrayal. Noa doesn’t remember leaving, but they do remember Ciel brushing past in the hall, as if they’d been the one hurt. That confused Noa, but they couldn’t do anything about it. They couldn’t cry, they couldn’t think, they weren’t even sure how they were walking except that they needed to be as far from Iris as possible.

It’d been hours that Noa walked the campus grounds alone. When Em fell in step beside them, they were relieved to not be alone, even under Em’s cursory glances. They remember deciding to take off the bracelets. They remembered each one before dropping it, and the time that Iris had made and given it to them. For years they had been priceless. For years Noa thought their friendship with Iris was just one of those rare friendships.

Noa showered, removing the remnants of their makeup. They scrubbed at this body they hated because it was one she knew. They tore through their drawers to find clothes that she didn’t like. They dressed, turned to their bed, and flung the comforter off, the twin to the one on Iris’ bed. Next onto the floor came an assortment of stuffed animals all gifted by her. Until It was just Noa, their pillow, and their unicorn from dad. They decided that’s all they needed. Ever.

They woke up Sunday afternoon to Ciel’s soft knocking at their door. They peeled their eyes open and rolled off the bed, landing in the mess they’d created. They tried to say they were coming, but nothing came out as they forced themselves to a standing position. They opened the door to find Ciel, who looked about as awake as Noa felt, but in the same clothes as yesterday, just wrinkled, slept in. Noa flinched as Ciel reached out to take Noa’s hand. They tugged on them until both were bumbling down the hall to their kitchenette.

Once there, Ciel presented Noa with a sub and a bottle of water. They ate in silence, Noa appreciated the effort but wasn’t feeling very hungry. They put away the rest of their sandwich after only a few bites, but drank the water in grateful silence.

Noa watched as Ciel seemed to go from emotion to emotion while thinking to themselves. They thought that perhaps Ciel wanted to talk but was waiting for Noa to break the silence. Noa decided Ciel would have to wait. They had no desire to talk anymore than they had with Marceau. They got up to leave.

“Noa,” Ciel called out quietly. They turned, not having expected them to speak up. “I’m sorry.” Noa looked suspiciously at Ciel. “I knew she planned to tell you. I should have told her not to. I didn’t know she’d say it like that. That she’d use that word….” Ciel shrank in their seat and looked away from Noa’s gaze.

Noa stepped up to Ciel and wrapped their arms around the younger enby. “She invalidated us,” Noa’s voice was little more than breath. Ciel wrapped their arms around Noa and nodded into their chest as they broke down. Noa petted their head in comforting strokes and let them cry.