Jennifer POV

Matty was going to be late for the airport so Laura arrived in the morning and took her with Azaleiah to the airport. I had so many questions but I decided to continue sleeping in the bed. "It wasn't the first time Diego cheated on me, it was probably the third one at least that I know about it. It wasn't a secret that he was a player in his college days, I used to hang out with Matty but he was always with a different girl when I saw him in some parties.

He was handsome I can't deny it, a handsome engineer student with lots of money, he was also part of a research club in biotechnology I suppose that's how we kinda end up chatting more, I was studying biology, I wanted to be a doctor at first but I realized I was more the research, nobody really understood that. Both of my parents were doctors but at least I was still in the STEM field, in the end I ended up working as a sales assistant in a big pharmacy company that's were I met Azaleaiah.

She also studied biology but she prefered making money, she was able to win enough to pay for a Phd in the future without getting in college debt. I was just a trainee, a well paid one, I don't how we hit it off, she just came and talk to me in the cafeteria and we kinda clicked, we studied in the same college, she was three years older than me. Actually she was my TA in one of my courses, now that I think about it. She might had been interested in me at the beginning? I don't know. She always knew I had a boyfriend.

Why am I thinking all of this right now? I will empty all that damm bottle of vodka. I don't know what I want, and I make regretable decisions, I finished my internship and now I am unemployed. I was living with Laura we kind of have a future, if you think it realliscally he was a good catch. Sadly I am not so rational, too emotional to just think about the easiest way to have an stable future, too rational to be able to said what I think at the right time, because I know the chances are zero.

Until now! Damm it! I thought I was over Matty, she is my girl friend! I mean, best friend! It's not like I just want to kiss her until she can no longer breath every time I saw her. I need more vodka! That's it, more vodka! Now she is going to Canada and I am too wasted to even say a proper goodbye. This sucks. I wish I had enough courage to try to kiss a girl and see if I like it. I mean nowadays people are changing, but it is so scary when you hear your parents talking about gay people like trash, weirdos, perverts. I wish I knew Azaleiah in high school maybe all would have been different.

Matty never looked at me, I thought she was asexual but she likes the stupid viewtuber Tami Stewart. I mean we are kinda look alike. We are both blonde, she has blue eyes, mine are kinda green, well maybe brown. Whatever I know I am unique, why do I like Matty? We just kissed once and she never tried it again. I thought maybe she realized she wasn't into girls, I was so scared to lose her as a friend.

I got into the stupid research club where I met Diego just for you Matty, even if I didn't knew too much about technology or programming I did knew about my field, you were all into AI and all that stuff. Diego could translate all that I said in technology terms. Does that make sense?

Diego is not a bad guy, but sometimes I thinks he is like me, a little bit. My gaydar is not broken, I think, I am just too scared. I am a scared adult woman that shouldn't be drinking so much. I want to throw up dammit! Is there any food in the frigobar? I searched for some food in the frigobar in the room but there was some minisandwiches. Maybe if I eat enough of them they could count as one sandwich.

I just want to cry, my life is a mess. I will be unemployed next month, I should have stayed to be a doctor, but I am not the most social person, and I hate blood. I would be a terrible doctor.

Azaleiah and Laura came I was still drinking vodka and throwing up, a part of me seriously wanted to disappear. She was concerned when she saw me they gave me water and took to the nearest hospital so they could give me some electrolyte water. The doctor said I would have been with a severe alcohol poisonning if it wasn't because of Azaleiah and Laura. Truth to be told it wasn't the first time I did this, but it was the first time with close friends.

Sometimes I tried to go clubbing, but it wasn't my thing. I was so lost, drinking was the only way to not feel so left out. People wanting to feel touched, twerking with random girls but never making out. It felt good, was it good? I don't know. Every time I thought about Diego I felt guilty. Dancing with Azaleiah was a pleasure, and Laura too.

When I was better we went to my apartment. Diego was there, drunk, kinda furious, kinda wasted, we were so much alike. I once told him it would be cool to do something fun with Azaleiah and Laura I suppose he interpret it the wrong gay, I mean way, he shouted that he was no gay and no way he would touch some guys dick, later I knew fro Azaleiah that he wanted to make a trio with her. He wasn't evil per se, he was just raised that way. We were just raised that way, it's not the same when you came from a catholic family. Nobody even question you might not be straight. Maybe some even try to understand it until it hits home. I once read a book Annie on my Mind, sometimes I wished I had an Annie, maybe Matty was my Annie once, but she was already traveling to another country. Maybe Azaleiah was what I would want to be if I had the guts but I don't.

I won't have a job in a month, and I won't have a house. At least I had some savings. I don't want to go back at being a waitress, I am pretty bad at it. I am a mess.

Diego and I had a fight while I was with Azaleiah and Laura. Our last fight in the front door of my now old penthouse

"Diego. Do you think I am like you? Maybe I do like someone else but I always respected you. Until today, this is enough. Bye, and I don't need your money or your stupid penthouse I can make my own money."

I hope I can make my own money, I hope I can give up on Matty. I was thinking a lot of things. Then Azaleaih appeared.

"Hey Jenn. Don't worry you can stay with us if you want. At least until you find another place." - she said with a worried look. I just wanted to kiss her. I just embrace her and our lips touched, I gave her a kiss in her cheek. Thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like you. But thanks." I said while hugging her.