I would love to know who Anna is to me. I know that she would, as well. I just can never put a finger on it.

And the way that Lock looked at me…

I can’t put a finger on that, either.

He’s quiet the next morning, rising early and going out to his men before I’m out of bed. I dress in the stuffy uniform and go out to meet him, my stomach feeling sick for no good reason.

Lock is watching over his men as they run through drills. I stand at attention a little behind him.

“Good morning, Lock,” I say softly.

He turns, his eyes widening briefly before he nods stiffly to me.

“Good morning, Pearce.”

“Do we have plans for today?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” He hesitates. “Except— perhaps we could take some of those bottles down to the apothecary. See if he can identify them.”

“The ones from… New Valataur?”

“Exactly,” he says.

I hesitate. “I…”

“What?” He frowns. “Don’t you think that could provide some insight into who they are?”

“Perhaps. Or we’ll simply sound insane.”

“We don’t have to tell the apothecary the whole story,” he says.

“I suppose.” For some reason, I just want to keep it to ourselves. Our little secret. Or— another one.

“So.” He starts walking. “Come along. We might as well get on it.”

I nod and follow him, fingering the vial in my pocket.

“I apologize for—” He stops.

“Yes?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. “It’s bad form to stop apologies before actually apologizing.”

“I’m— not sure what I was going to apologize for, now that I’ve said it.” He flushes.

I smile a little. “It’s also bad form to apologize for things that don’t need to be apologized for,” I say softly.

He looks at me, and seems to come to some sort of decision. I just hold his eyes, waiting to see if he decides to share.

“Let’s take a detour,” he says.

I wave a hand forward in agreement, and we go down to the shore. He takes a seat on a rocky outcropping. I sit beside him, staring out at the gentle, grey water.

“Tell me about Nathan.”

I glance over him. “That’s not the line of questioning I was anticipating.”

He doesn’t meet my eyes. He just keeps looking at the sea.

“He kicked my arse in a duel third year,” I say quietly. “Rapiers. I was good. He was better. The way that he moved… I think that’s what distracted me the most, caused me to lose. The fluidity of his movements, the way he practically danced across the floor…”

He smiles slightly. “Then you’ll understand me when I say you sail like that.”

I blush a little. “I doubt it.”

“Oh, you do. Watching you strain against the sails… jumping from the stern to the bow, ducking under the boom…” He trails off. “This is what I’m sorry for.”

“Enjoying watching me work?” I say softly.

“Wanting to watch you more.”

I look down, picking up a smooth rock and throwing it out to skim the water.

“John moved like you do,” he says. “I used to watch him cut wood. His movements were so… smooth. Perfect.”

“I didn’t think anyone would watch me like that,” I say quietly.

“You’re a— beautiful man.” His voice chokes up.

I slide my hand over his. He looks down at them. I don’t speak. I just stay there, close enough to his side to touch.

“John talked in his sleep,” he says. “That’s how I learned he was… different. Like me.”

“Nathan barely knew I existed,” I whisper.

He hesitates. “You two weren’t—”

I shake my head. “My love was, unfortunately, unrequited.”

“Then… you’ve never…” He gives me a mischievous smile.

I roll my eyes. “No.”

He turns his hand over underneath mine. I hold it gently. My fingers start to tremble for no reason.

“So that’s why I was upset last night,” he says.

“I understand,” I whisper. “And I apologize for my own lack of… discretion.”

“No, it’s— it’s of little consequence. If she’s your— well, I guess she’s not your belle, but your lover, then— there’s nothing more to say.”

“She’s not my lover,” I say quickly.

“Ah.” We sit awkwardly for a moment.

I stare out at the ripples on the water. “I don’t know what I want,” I say softly. “I never have.”

He turns to face me, the wind ruffling his hair. He’s honestly so adorable—that soft, young face and those big blue eyes.

He takes his hand away and stands. “Thank you.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Somehow, that was enough,” he says.

I hesitate, then stand as well. I don’t know why I feel disappointed.

“Let’s go to the apothecary,” he says.

I clear my throat. “Of course.”

“Or, we could just be stupid and try it,” he says casually.

I trip over my own feet. “Oh— I— I’m not saying I’m completely adverse, but I feel as if that’s something that would require a bit of— ah—”

He pulls out a vial. My face burns.

“The serum. Yes. That is what I meant.”

He raises an eyebrow—then turns beet red.

“Let’s just pretend that I said nothing,” I mumble, taking out my own vial.

“Oh, I’m going to remember what you said.” He smiles slyly. “Not adverse.”

I turn away a little, not giving him the satisfaction of a response. “So, which of us should taste the serum?”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to do the honor first,” he says.

“Then the honor is all yours.”

He downs it.

***

I wake up with Lock staring down at me.

“Um… Good morning?”

He leans down and kisses me. I just lie there, stunned.

I’ve never kissed a man before. His lips are just as soft as Anna’s, though.

“Lock…” I whisper.

He grins at me, gently running the back of his hand along my cheek. I find myself leaning into it slightly.

“Guess what?” he whispers.

All that comes from my mouth is a faint, “Wh…”

“The people on the island? The soul bound? They weren’t crazy.”

I’m not sure my mind can handle that information right now. I can’t stop staring up at him, mouth open like a fish out of water.

“The serum they gave us. It resets an entire day.” He giggles. “It resets a day.”

“Uh-huh…” I raise my fingers to my lips.

“So I decided to kiss you.” He sits down at the foot of my bed. “I think I’m in love with you. Smitten, at the very least.”

“Uh-huh…” I swallow hard.

“And you want to know the best part?”

“Huh?”

“You’re not going to remember any of this.”

He pulls out a vial of blue liquid.

What if I want to remember it? What if…

He holds my eyes. “So I’ll see you today.”

“Lock—” I whisper.

He smiles. “Yes, beautiful?”

“Do it again.” I don’t know why I say it.

He leans down, cupping both of his hands around my face. I lightly put one of my own hands over his, then draw him down into another kiss. It’s soft and sweet and a little overwhelming.

And I don’t want to let go.

He gently draws back.

“I don’t want you to forget this,” he murmurs. “But I don’t think you’re ready for it.”

“I…” I don’t know. I don’t know...

He puts the vial to his lips and drinks.