Ben

“Morning Babe.” Ben smiles even before turning around. Lately, he doesn’t feel like his day properly started until he hears that sentence.

“Hey, you.” He lands a quick kiss on Paul’s lips. Since the basketball game and the kiss that fed the gossip mill for a week, they now allow themselves this much – or rather this little – every morning, and then they let go for the rest of the day. “So… my mom had another idea yesterday…” says Ben.

“Why does it sound like I’m not going to like this idea?”

“It’s nothing bad, it’s… she wants to meet your parents. She wants to have them for dinner on Friday.”

“Oh.” Ben can read on Paul’s face the same uncertainty he’s feeling. His mother and Paul’s parents are very different people. The evening can go two ways, really. “I’ll ask my parents, but there are definitely going to say yes. They are in this phase where they are really excited about anything having to do with me being gay.”

Ben scrunches his nose. He knows it’s great to have supportive parents, but he also knows that Paul would sometimes like for them to be less extra about him coming out. By trying so hard to show him that it’s okay to be gay, they are still sending the message that, maybe, it’s not that okay. Or, at least, that it isn’t ordinary, or normal.

“So… Friday, then?”

Paul nods. “I’ll definitely let you know after I ask, but… yes, I guess Friday is as good of a time as any to awkwardly watch our two worlds collide…”

“They might get along fine,” Ben says.

“What if they don’t?”

Ben leans on his locker and says: “Well… I was only dating you so my mom could get some new friends. If that doesn’t work… I don’t really see the point in staying together…”

“Very funny…” His tone was sarcastic, but Ben can see that Paul did find it quite funny.

“Don’t worry. If they don’t get on, then they at least know each other, they know they are trustworthy – because that’s not going to be the issue – and we carry on dating without them having to meet again.”

“Let’s still hope they’ll like each other,” Paul half-mumbles. “I don’t know… it feels important.”

Ben feels the same. It would just be nice to not have one less obstacle. But, surely, it will be fine. Their parents are different, but not enough that they would clash over anything. Or so he hopes…

In school the next day, from the other side of a busy corridor, Ben sees Paul having a conversation with Toby and his girlfriend. Ben has seen Paul talk to the guys from the team a couple of times since they played in the park. Sometimes, Ben is a bit overwhelmed by how supporting his teammates have been. He probably chose the right sport.

It also makes him feel a bit guilty. Because as he sees Toby’s girlfriend laugh at something Paul said, he realized that he never made the effort to talk to any of the players’ girlfriends. Maybe he should try harder.

Paul sees Ben and walks to him. “Morning Babe. I asked my parents about Friday. They would be, and I quote them, thrilled to join you for dinner on Friday.”

“Great. I’ll let my mom know. She was actually talking about you yesterday. I know you’re not sure about it, but I really think she likes you.”

“That’s good. Toby was just telling me that his girlfriend’s parents hate him, and that brings all sorts of awkward…”

“Oh yeah, I saw you bonding with Toby. That’s nice.”

“Well, I have to. Now that I’m practically in the team.”

Ben smiles. “Sure. A couple of hours in a park and you’re ready for varsity. So, Toby’s girlfriend… what’s her name?”

Paul frowns as if he couldn’t believe that Ben wouldn’t know that. “Emily.”

“Right.” It does ring a bell. Maybe he should know her. Is it weird that he doesn’t? Would it be weirder if he suddenly started asking the team about their romantic life?

“She’s nice,” Paul continues as he seems to pick on Ben’s newfound interest. “She’s been taking dance lessons since she was four, and she is thinking about joining the school musical next year. But there is something I’m wondering… Have you seen the size difference between them? She’s tiny and he is even taller than Max. How do they even kiss?” Ben bursts out laughing. Only Paul would be thinking about something like that. But then Paul gives Ben a mischievous look and adds “Then again, in a car or lying down, it’s probably not a problem anymore.” Then he winks and leaves for his first lesson.

So, yeah. There is no way that Ben will be able to focus in biology.

Then comes Friday. Ben is only half nervous. His mother likes Paul. Paul’s parents like him. Those were the important steps. Just like he told Paul, if they don’t get along with one another, they won’t have to socialize that much anyway.

But he is also convinced that things will work out. His mother is making a real effort. Dinner smells amazing and she got her wedding’s china out. It’s one of the rare things left in the house proving that his parents did have a real love story once, and not just a fling that led to him.

“Do you need help, Mom?”

“No, thanks Honey, I’m nearly done. But you can keep me company.”

Ben sits on a stool by the counter and watched his mother finishing the dessert. He always found looking at her cooking oddly soothing. She has a calm and precise manner of doing things that’s quite relaxing to witness.

“So, you have met the Yorks before. What are they like?”

“They are nice.”

“Of course they are. Their son is lovely. Why do you always stop at the obvious and the necessary? You are allowed to give details, you know. What do you think about them?”

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know. They are… different from us. Paul’s parents are high school sweethearts, they live in a house with a white picket fence, literally, they have three children, a dog, family TV night, a house full of children drawings and a wall with a mark for how tall each of them was on each birthday. Paul doesn’t realize it, but he has the typical perfect family depicted in mainstream fiction.”

“And is that something you would want? A family like theirs?” His mother doesn’t sound hurt or bothered. She is a pragmatist; she knows she cannot change their reality. She genuinely asks out of interest.

“Not really. I mean, it’s nice to be in a house with noise all the time, and to discuss sports with Paul’s dad, but… I wouldn’t trade you for the world, and I think it’s too busy for me. I like being an only child. Having my space, a quiet home, and all the attention.”

“You won’t be an only child for long,” she comments.

“True. But… regarding our family… We could still discuss a puppy…”

“Not happening, Honey.”

Ben’s mother opens the door and lets the Yorks in. She shakes Neil and Alison’s hands with a “Please, call me Gabrielle”, that she hasn’t offered Paul.

Paul looks like he’s afraid his parents, especially his dad, might say something wrong whenever they open their mouths, and Sophie seems uncomfortable. Ben, therefore, decides to have a conversation with her, all evening if he has to. He doesn’t want her to be bored - tonight feels like an important step, and he wants everyone to remember it fondly – but he also wants to bond with Paul’s sisters, even if he hasn’t met Anna yet. He can tell that their opinion is important. Probably more than his parents’.

Her face really lights up when she is talking about music and it seems like a good place to start. Paul observes them but doesn’t take part in the conversation, as if he too would like his sister and his boyfriend to hit it off.

“They’re getting along really well,” Ben comments in Paul’s ear as their parents start sharing experiences about life when they were teenagers themselves.

“They sure are. I’m not entirely sure this is a good thing for us, though.”

They really seem to naturally get on. Better and faster than Ben expected. They are talking, laughing… Ben hasn’t seen his mother so relaxed in ages.

Then Neil compliments Gabrielle on her house, Alison compliments the cooking, Ben’s mother compliments them on their children, Paul’s dad compliments her on Ben… It’s nice, in a way, but Ben and Paul cringe when their names are dragged in the conversation. Because they know what’s coming next.

And sure enough, they are now sharing stories and anecdotes. It’s even more cringy than when they were talking about their young selves.

Ben sort of likes hearing about Paul but wishes he could disappear whenever his mother shares anything about him. He looks at Paul who seems to completely mirror the feeling.

Which leads their parents to discuss their sons coming out.

“You know when some people come out and the other person says that they already knew?” Gabrielle asks. “It wasn’t my case. I was very surprised. Not that he was gay, but that I didn’t pay enough attention to him to know. Or even to notice that he was keeping such a big part of himself from me.”

That statement completely upsets Ben. He had no idea that she was feeling that way. Apparently, Paul picks up on it, because suddenly his hand in on Ben’s thigh, under the table, squeezing it gently.

“Mom, it wasn’t like that…”

“He’s right,” Alison confirms. “He is a teenager. You can’t know how long he knew himself. And it’s probably not the only thing he keeps from you. Take us, for instance. We had no idea that Sophie was in a band until she invited us to her first concert, and yet she was spending over six hours each week rehearsing. I had no idea that my older daughter wanted to go to university out of state until she brought home her early acceptance letter. And closer to your situation, we had no idea for Paul either. And I work with troubled teens. I am trained to see those things. It is literally my job to see what they refuse to say out loud. It’s always different when they are ours. We have this very clear idea of who they are, and it turns out they are not.”

There is a quiet silence after that. Nobody really knows how to bounce back from that. At least, Ben’s mom is smiling again.

“I wouldn’t mind coming out to you,” Sophie says out of the blue. “But there is no way I would tell you if I had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. Ever. I don’t even know how you haven’t scared Ben away yet.”

Everyone laughs, and Ben can see in Sophie’s eyes that it is exactly what she wanted. To defuse the tension and change the mood. He really needs to spend more time with her. The issue is that when he is at Paul’s, the only thing he wants to do is be with Paul. Preferably alone, in a room with the door mostly closed.

“Well, I think they are lucky to have found each other,” Ben’s mother says. “I don’t know Paul very well, but he seems perfect for Ben. Serious enough to keep Ben on track, but lively enough to pull him out of his shell a little bit and show him that there are great things out of his comfort zone.”

“And I think Ben is going to help Paul stay well-grounded and expand his horizons too,” Paul’s mother adds. “Plus, he looks happier since they are together.”

It’s still very cringy. But it’s also nice. Ben knew his mother like Paul, but it’s a bit moving to hear her say it at loud. And there is some relief as well hearing Alison approving their relationship.

“Personally, I think Ben could have done better,” Neil says. Gabrielle laughs, Alison rolls her eyes, and Neil winks at Paul to show him that he doesn’t mean it.

Overall, it’s a good evening. Their worlds collided and they realized once more that they fit together. Ben looks at Paul and they let the conversation continue around the table. They just stare at one another, having a silent conversation, getting lost in the other’s eyes.

There is this thought at the back of Ben’s mind. This feeling that keeps coming back, that they sort of expressed but never said. Soon. He will have to tell Paul soon.