Paul

Ben is coming for dinner. As in: he is going to meet Paul’s family. All day, there has been this pit in Paul’s stomach. He desperately needs tonight to go well. He wants his family to see and appreciate the awesome boy that Paul chose as his boyfriend and he needs Ben to feel comfortable and accepted around his family. He just wants these two parts of his life to fit in nicely.

When Ben rings the doorbell, Paul’s family is kind enough to pretend they didn’t hear anything so Paul could greet his boyfriend with some sort of privacy.

Ben looks so pretty it gives Paul goosebumps. They smile shyly, still figuring out how to be, but this time their kiss isn’t awkward. It is short and chaste – parental eyes might not be far – but it feels natural. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Paul asks. “We can still come up with some lame excuse.”

“Only for you,” Ben replies with a smile. Paul smiles back. He loves that his boyfriend would refer back to a time they spent together.

Paul’s mother arrives as they are staring at each other in silence, still smiling. She pretends she doesn’t realize that she interrupted a moment. “Hi, Ben.”

“Hello, Mrs. York.”

“Please, call me Alison.”

Paul can see on Ben’s face that he is not entirely comfortable with that idea, but he nods anyway. Ben is the kind of person who’s good with parents.

They enter the living room and Paul catches something on his father’s face. Something like… relief? He obviously didn’t remember Ben that well from the last time he went to one of Leo’s games. That hurts Paul somehow. If he is relieved, then… what was he expecting?

“Hello, Mr. York.”

Paul’s father waves it off. “Please. Just call me Neil.” Ben nods and shakes the hand that Neil just extended. “So, Ben, could you share your secret with me?” Ben shoots him a questioning look. “How did you convince Paul to go practice basketball with you?”

“I just asked,” Ben answers with a smile.

“Really? That never works when I do it…”

Paul can see on his father’s face that he is about to make a joke and there is a too high probability that it will be a sex joke for him to take a chance. “Okay, Dad, thanks for that. Where is Sophie?” Paul doesn’t really need his sister to meet Ben, they know each other from school, he just wants to change the subject.

His father apparently understands the silent warning and he doesn’t say anything more.

Paul is pleasantly surprised. His mother doesn’t ask any personal question with an inquisitive look attached or assume that Ben is secretly a delinquent. She doesn’t ask him about his drugs or alcohol use, which would be fine because it’s Ben, but which would also be very embarrassing. His father is on his best behavior too. He asks Ben a lot of questions about basketball, and the two of them talk sports for a while. Paul knows that his father is sometimes disappointed that Paul doesn’t share his interest, and he is happy to see his father and his boyfriend bond over it. Neil seems over the moon. Sophie, who isn’t always great with new people, and has made a point to ignore any friend of Paul’s who isn’t Leo or Sarah, is also really nice to Ben. She talks to him about her music, and Paul is literally a bit jealous because she always refuses to talk to him about it.

Both Paul’s parents seem surprised when they talk about school and learn that Ben is an honor student with a very strong chance to get a full scholarship to an Ivy League based on his academic results. Ben acts like it’s not a big deal and Paul feels pride burst in his chest. His gorgeous, smart, modest boyfriend. At which point his dad ruins it by making the joke that Paul is the only teenager that will manage to improve in sport and school by getting in a relationship. But it’s a sweet joke and everybody laughs.

It’s a school night, so Ben doesn’t stay after dinner.

Paul walks him to his car. “So… how was tonight?” He really hopes that his family wasn’t too much on Ben.

“I would say it went alright. They seemed to have liked me fine enough.” Ben seems nervous.

“Are you kidding? They loved you. My dad is probably considering adopting you right now.”

“Well, I hope he doesn’t because that would make kissing you really awkward.” Paul smiles and lets Ben pull him for a goodnight kiss.

“Thank you for coming tonight.”

“Of course. It was great. At home, it’s just me and my mom and even though I love her, it’s also nice to see a more lively family. Okay… I’m going to leave before my curfew, otherwise my mom won’t ever let me come back.”

“Sure. See you tomorrow.” Paul puts his lips on his boyfriend’s one last time.

Paul is looking for something in his locker when Ben finds him. “Morning gorgeous.”

“Morning Babe,” Paul replies absentmindedly, still scavenging for his English homework.

“Babe?”

“What?” Paul asks, victoriously putting his paper in his bag.

“You’re calling me ‘babe’, now?”

Paul freezes. He didn’t even realize. His mind was focused on finding his homework and he wasn’t paying attention… “Oh… I don’t know. It just came out. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I never pictured myself as a ‘babe’, but I don’t mind being yours.”

Paul smiles. He never really liked when people called each other ‘babe’. He found it a bit tacky. But he also sort of enjoyed calling Ben that. Especially knowing that Ben just gave him – and only him – permission. It also feels like using pet names is a new step for them.

“So… We have a situation…” Ben says.

Something unpleasant appears in Paul’s stomach and looks at Ben, slightly concerned. “What do you mean by ‘situation’?”

“My mom wants to meet you. She thinks that since I had dinner at your place… it’s her turn or something.”

“Yeah… that’s fair,” Paul replies, nervous. Ben squeezes his fingers briefly.

“Don’t worry. She’s going to love you.”

“Yeah… let’s hope so.” Paul remembers the way his parents kept praising Ben after he left and he doubts that he will be able to impress Ben’s mother the same way. But if he could at least not disappoint her, then he will consider the evening to be a success. “When does she want me to come over?”

“She suggested tomorrow after school. If your parents are fine with it.”

“They will be.”

When Paul joins Ben in the parking lot the next day, he changed his clothes. He is wearing a black long-sleeved shirt.

“Why are you wearing a shirt? Where did you even find it?”

“I found it in the costume section of the drama department. Truth be told, Amy found it for me. And I am wearing it because your mother terrifies me, and I realized half-way through last period that I would rather be overdressed than inappropriately casual. Actually, if Amy had found one, I would also be wearing a tie right now. I know three things about your mom. She did a fantastic job raising you as a single mother. She was cool about the whole coming out thing. Max once referred to her as ‘intimidating’.”

Ben nods. “Great mother, loving no matter what, and enjoys terrifying my friends. Yes, that pretty much sums up my mom.”

“Yes, well. Let’s try to add ‘likes your boyfriend’ to the list, shall we?”

“We shall indeed.”

They both park in front of Ben’s house and Ben pauses before opening the front door. He seems to notice how nervous Paul is. He takes Paul’s hand, laces their fingers and looks at the grey-eyed boy. “Are you ready for this?”

“Only for you,” Paul replies with a soft smile. He is still nervous, but he is also determined. He doesn’t want to run from this.

Ben presses a quick kiss on his lips and opens the front door, not letting go of Paul’s fingers.

From Ben’s living room, there is a direct view to the lobby, so his mother’s eyes find them even before he can announce that he’s back. She is looking at them from above her glasses and she raises an eyebrow when she sees that they are holding hands. Paul doesn’t think that the single eyebrow is a good sign.

“Hi, Mom. This is Paul.”

“Really? So it’s not some stranger you just found on the street?”

Paul is a bit taken aback by the odd mix of funny and terrifying that the lady manages to project. He glances at Ben who looks absolutely unimpressed by his mother’s sarcasm.

She stands up and gives Paul a warm smile which breaks some of the tension. She shifts from scary to intimidating.

“Hello, Paul.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Carter.”

Paul lets go of Ben’s hand to shake hers and Ben watches the interaction carefully, like someone introducing two animals. Paul gets it. He was nervous about introducing his boyfriend to his parents too.

“Paul, would you like something to drink?”

“Yes, thank you,” Paul agrees cheerfully, and they all move to the kitchen.

“So,” she says as she gets a selection of drinks from the fridge. “You are the boy who makes Ben so smiley lately?”

Paul is proud to already be seen that way, and relieved that, apparently, Mrs. Carter has already decided that she likes him.

“I guess,” Paul answers. “I would be very happy to, anyway.”

“Ben didn’t say much about you. Just that you were in the play, that you like what he calls ‘old music’, and that you have two sisters.”

“That is pretty much me,” Paul agrees.

She puts glasses on the counter and they all take one.

“But there must be more than that to you.”

And then she asks Paul a lot of questions. He notices that Ben seems relieved with her choice of questions. They are not general enough to be generic, but they are not personal enough to be uncomfortable. More importantly, she asks questions like she cares. It is nice to feel like a person rather than just ‘Ben’s boyfriend’.

Then she tells them that she needs a bit more time to prepare dinner. Paul offers to help and she politely declines. The two boys disappear to Ben’s room. Paul notices that the door is left open and he wonders if Ben had a conversation with his mother about it beforehand.

“Your mother is really nice,” Paul says as he sits on Ben’s bed, trying to keep his mind from reminiscing what happened the last time he was here. “I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, you are really nice too, but I really wanted us to bond, you know? Like you and my dad over sports. I don’t think your mother is as thrilled about me as my dad is about you, but I think she liked me. No?”

“She did,” Ben confirms. “Trust me, you’d know if she didn’t. We wouldn’t even be allowed out of her sight if she didn’t.”

“I mean… there is still a chance that I will blow it over dinner, but at least I didn’t screw up the first impression.” Ben smiles in response, but it’s a faint one. “Hey… it was a joke.”

“Yeah, no, sorry… I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“Good thoughts?”

“Yes. It’s just… my mom was pretty great when I came out to her. But I also knew that there is a difference between coming out, being gay in theory, and bringing a boyfriend home, suddenly being gay for real. But right now… there was nothing in my mother’s behavior that I think would have been different if I had brought a girl home. I just think… it was the last thing I was afraid of, you know?”

Paul takes his hand. “I’m happy for you. But I’m also happy for us. Maybe… maybe this whole being gay thing is going to be easier than we feared.”

“I don’t know if it will be easier. But if I have you and my family by my side… I think I’m ready to face it.”

Paul puts his hand on Ben’s face and softly brushes his cheek with his thumb before kissing him. Ben’s hands fall on Paul’s side and thigh. They get closer. They grab tighter. Ben leans over, pushing Paul back, and breaks the kiss the moment he realizes what he’s doing.

“Sorry. It’s just…”

“Not the best timing?” Paul finishes.

“Exactly. It’s just… you're in my bed and you’re quite hot in a shirt… but let’s do something completely PG, okay?”

“Trust me, I really don’t want your mom to walk in on us making out.”

Ben smiles and stays on the bed but sits further away, where they can’t touch anymore. A safety distance is probably a good idea.

They start talking about a movie they might see at the weekend with the lunch crew, Ben’s upcoming basketball game, the English essay… only very PG topics.

Through all of that, Paul keeps in mind the slightly less PG information that Ben finds him hot in a shirt. Hot enough to ignore an open door, even just for a few seconds.

Tonight, he is definitely scavenging his wardrobe…