The sound of the rain showering upon the earth relaxed me. I leaned from the wall just staring at it how everything was washed. I could not run away the moment I passed the corner of the hall. I felt all my air being sucked from my lungs. I stopped falling in my knees trying to catch my breath when I heard Jaxon's voice.

"Long time no see..." he said. I could feel the smug from his voice.

"What do you want?" Sky asked coldly.

"Tyler was happy to see me, but I see you still have a grudge against me... It is not my fault that ..." He suddenly pauses. "I came to see my cousin, JD." At that moment my jaw trembled and felt the walls around be crumbling in thin air. It was impossible; his cousin's name was Willis...

Hearing his words I just stood horrified staring blankly at the droplets of rain which splattered against the window, rapidly transforming in a red color and before my eyes, an image I wanted to forget revived. It was the moment Leiv died in front of me, while I felt like I had no air in my lungs anymore, reliving that moment once again.

My legs were shaking hard, but as well I remembered Theo's eyes, how terrified he was. I broke down in suppressed sobs, because how much time passes those moments will never erase from my mind.

In my mind was chaos like was in my heart unable to process anything until a loud sound echoed through the empty halls suppressing Sky's cusses toward Jaxon's cousin.

I was just a train wreck, a shadow of my former self now. Each day I lived in a hell that I couldn't awake, but the falling of the night I dread the most, always pulling me back to the past, haunting me until it made me bleed through tears...

I flinched when Sky started to shout and run.

"Chris, come here you idiot!"

Shaking I came out from my hiding and in front of the door, where the detention room was, stood the perfect copy of Alex, which shattered me. I could feel Jax eyes on me while I froze.

"Luca..." He said while approaching. I couldn't move anymore, just stared at him, while warily walked toward me. I titled my head on a side, trembling while holding a sob in my throat, and gripping my pants. I felt his arms around me the moment he was in front of me, holding me to his chest, feeling my body how it shook hard in his arms, without saying anything.

"I beg you; don't call me that..." I mumbled. "The one you know named Luca, died the moment ..." I was unable to finish. He gripped the embrace around me, whispering to me to calm down.

"It has been years since I said it,..." He whispered. His voice sounded bitter.

Jaxon back then was one of the few which stood up against Eugene and the rest of Theo's former friends, protecting him, until life separated all... I last saw Jaxon when I was fifteen, after a few months from my brother's death and Alex vanishing from my life, the same way he entered, abruptly.

"Sorry I ran," I said while pulled myself away from him and wiped my face with the fingers, slightly trembling. I let out a fake smile to ensure him I was fine. He stared at me unconvinced but didn't pushed.

"Seems all hate me because of Alex..." He trailed off while staring into my eyes.

"Only Sky," I said letting out a chuckle terrified to look at him. "Theo misses you," I continued averting my eyes toward the window thinking how Alex might look now. If I'll walk someday on the street I'll be able to recognize him? I might but I'll be too angry or numb to be able to scream all the pain I had in my heart, all the questions and just pass near him.

Jax nodded stroking my arm gently to catch my attention and pulling out from my thoughts.

"Alex he is..." He looked at me like he was debating to tell me something afraid of my reaction.

"Say It. I really don't care anymore." I stared at him, but Jax just turned his back toward me and started to walk toward a pissed of Sky and wet from the rain. The students from the class were outside, staring at the scene, perhaps, I could saw Anthony smirk that at this moment I wish I could wipe it from his face, but as well JD pale complex when his eyes landed on Jax.

"What the family cares now about me suddenly?" He said, while glancing with malice toward Jax. He huffed and with Sky approval both left. Jax turned around and smiled at me, but I let the head down not wanting to see them, anyone.

I turned around and I hid from all views, around the corner, it was a dead end, with a wide round window, which now was heavily washed by the rain, while I couldn’t share no tears, just stare at it hypnotized.

I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and all my body went stiff.

"It is me Luca." Sky said. I just nodded without turning around. "I didn't know he was back in the town, I swear."

His voice sounded sincere and pleading. He wanted to talk.

"I'm fine," I assured him. I'll be fine. My hands were shaking while I was holding them at my chest to not let Sky see my real me, crumbled to pieces. "I... back there, I thought Alex, was my mistake."

I heard Sky taking a deep breath, while he walked beside me and leaning from the window, blocking my view.

"Then why your tears fall like a cascade from those beautiful eyes of yours." He said, while slowly approached me and wiped them with his thumb, having a concern frown. His face softened suddenly while his chest was nearly pressed against mine.

I could feel his breath on my neck while leaning toward my face, at a few inches. He tilted his head slightly while holding my arm with one hand letting a soft peck on my lips.

"Stop leaving in the past Luca and open the eyes."

He said letting me in a complete puzzle while walking away, brushing his arm from mine.

My lips were burning for another kiss while my heart was numb.

"What do you want from me?"

I mumbled unaware he was still behind me, like waiting for something with his arms across his chest, with a sly smile on his face.

"I want you, to snap out and go fetch that idiot before he harms himself. Theo should be there soon as well."

Perplexed I stared at him not knowing about what he was talking and he looked relaxed like that kiss he gave was nothing for him.

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked him. Sky rolled his eyes shrugging.

"Because I felt like it..." He said, while scrolling through his phone.

"What about David?" I asked him, while I was drifting slowly from my thoughts, being now curious about his sudden action. He could be pretty odd from time to time and a sadist, still shivering at the scene from the bathroom when he pushed me and yelled at me. Now he was caring and tender.

"What about him? He is a married man with kids who fucks me from time to time."

I opened my mouth to say something but he stopped me by sealing my lips with his fingers, caressing them softly, while having an odd look into his eyes.

It was sadness and something else which was fast covered by a smile.

"Nikolas Luca Hal, I was in the mood to kiss someone, a problem?"

He said with a mood swing making me clench my jaw, hearing my real name that I loathed and scared to hear for years.

"Stop calling me like that," I yelled at him while he stayed calm staring in my eyes, smirking, while caressing my face with his finger, going down slowly toward my lips then to my neck.

"And you say you're fine, boy." He said, while continuing to touch me lightly until he stopped at my heart and put his all palm upon my chest. I tried to walk away, but I was pushed with force into the window, without Sky moving his hand from me. I felt my heart slamming in my chest, throbbing hard.

"Let me go," I mumbled.

"You're afraid to open your heart again Luca. You hurt yourself if you continue like this, you have people who care about you, we know..." He told me, while he took his eyes from my chest and stared directly into my eyes.

I wanted to say something but the moment our eyes met, I felt a slight throb in my chest.

"Know what?" I asked him with my trembling voice. They can never know what I did. They will be ashamed of me and disgusted. Sky dropped his hand down and turned around walking away not before stopping at the edge of the hall corner.

"In the darkness of your life, there are few moments of gleam which keeps you alive. Theo, me, Tyler, your nephews and even if sometimes I know you hate to admit, that little peewee entered in all our hearts, with his smile, like glue, sticking of us, Chris. Go to him and find him before it is too late."

With that he left. Shaking I felt to the floor, wrapping my arms around me.

Because of Alex and Patrick my life has been a hell, but that inferno started before them, the moment I accepted my brothers play, to destroy Theo. I deserve all this pain, while they will rest forever. I accepted this suffering for them as well.

I stood up and walked trembling holding myself from the walls to not fall down. Once I got out I took a deep breath to calm myself down and stop my body spasms of fear. I tok my phone and dialled Theodore’s number.

"Hello!" He replied with a tired and raspy voice. I know that tone. He was crying, again because Tyler was too stubborn to come back home, near him, both to fight against the woman who wanted to take their child away, Katya. "It is something wrong Luca... I have to go to Chris's house later on?" He continued after a short break.

"It...is about Chris," I said waiting for Theo to say something but I could only hear a shaking voice, like he was trying to stop the sobs. "He ran from school Theo..." I could not finish because the line went dead. I knew at that moment that Theo left in haste and I should do the same, looking for that midget.

After a few blocks I gave up. Staring at my phone I noticed that it had been an hour since I drove aimlessly around and I decided in an end to go to Chris house.

The moment I parked the car I noticed Theo's car in the driveway and I know both are in it, safe. On the porch I noticed Adam, playing with a stray cat, looking a bit shaky. The moment he saw me he raised his eyes and his adorable blue eyes were red from crying.

"Why you're sad little man?" I said, while fondle his blond hair playfully. It was an idiot question knowing his situation well. Abandoned by his parents and stuck in a house with teens that each has their issues.

"Sebby was odd and scary." He said, while sniffing and wiping his nose with his sleeve. I sat near him and pulled him near me, while put on his shoulder my hoodie.

"What do you mean, Adam?" I asked him elusive trying to hide the worried tone I had in my voice and avoiding his stare.

He stared at me with his big eyes, knowing at that moment I failed any attempt to avoid his gaze and shrug trying to find his words to explain to me.

"You'll see..." He trailed off in an end and stood up."But I still love him." He said smiling, while all his face lit up like a Christmas tree. I smiled back, while he helped me to stand up and hold me from my hand we both entered the house which had a morbid silence.

I could see the other kids' eyes and they were scared. On the top Theo was holding some clothes on his arm and in his hands a trail which had a bowl on it. He smiled and shook his head to follow him.

The moment he opened the door to Chris's room I remained mortified. All the room was upside down and most of his things were cut. On the bed in a pile of pillows, curled in a ball, wrapped in a duvet, and under I could hear weak sobs.

Around Chris was a nest, like that looked. It was a place where he felt protected from the hell we all know like reality, he found his own sanctuary...

I'll never do, because asleep or awake I lived in an endless hell.