Staring at the window it was the only thing I could do, even if I was in a class full of kids. Outside the branches of the trees were heavily moving back and forth on the wind music, while from time to time a lighting was grazing the sky.

I felt while observing the storm, inside me a serene feeling thrived slowly, but still felt unsettled. I couldn’t erase what happened today. I felt weary, while each part of my body throbbed.

Gazing at it I felt like I could forget everything. Inside me was an endless storm as well. Even though my body burned with fever and feeling cold, while my eyes were heavy, ready to fall asleep, the sound of the rain pelting on the room had a calming effect on my mind.

A single thing I hated: the thunder.

“Sky!” I heard Anthony voice piercing the silence which felt in the classroom for good minutes and suddenly I was pulled back to the harsh reality. I looked at him, while Sky glared mean back. “Why are we stuck in this room and our relatives have been called?” He asked, while playing with a pencil. I lifted my head from my arms and curious I looked as well at Sky.

I know for me nobody came, Sky and Mickael were here, but a flash passes through my mind recalling the familiar face from a few minutes ago. Rick glanced at me and his eyes softened making me even more confused. Few hours ago he was ready to walk over me.

“You will find out soon kid,” Sky replied flatly, while going back writing things in a notebook and peeking at us.

I stood up now playing with the hem of Mickael shirt, too scared to look around the room and met Anthony cold eyes or James’s, which was a seat behind me on the road next me.

JD stood behind Anthony while Rick was near him. They both seem tense. Alyona was alone, still crying and looking at Rick from the last seat. Were few more kids in here which probably were caught drinking, smoking or other things that the principal or any other teacher thought were – immoral for a student's behavior.

I raised my hand suddenly and Sky cleared his throat about to ask me what I want.

“I need to pee.” I said just to get from the classroom. A kid started to laugh, while my cheeks felt hot.

“I’ll call Mick to take you to the bathroom.” Sky said, while someone from behind the class yelled something while all started to laugh.

“He needs a babysitter.”

Sky glared ugly and all went silently, while I felt like shrinking in the seat.

“No need.” I mumbled. I stood up feeling like with each step the floor moved under me but I still tried. I leaned on one of the desks feeling a wave of heat through my body and sweating. My head throbbed and I felt breathless.

A chair scrapped from the floor while I was about to empty my stomach again.

“Take it easy.” Someone said, while caressing my back. I felt his arms around me while we both stood up. “I’ll take him out a bit.” He said while Sky mumbled something which resembles a muttering.

“Why are you so nice all of a sudden with me,” I asked Rick after releasing myself from his arms and lean from the wall with my back, feeling my legs shaking. My voice came out raspy and low, while took a deep breath and licked my dry lips. “Is this still part of the grand plan to beat the shit of me?” I opened my eyes while staring into his ice blue eyes.

He stared back at me surprised by the force I had in me to get away then shrugged putting his hands in his pockets, glancing at the floor.

“No… it is not.” He said while he looked like he was trying to find his words. “I guess I kind of know now how to be betrayed by people you thought friends.”

He lifted his head and looked at me smiling sadly.

I just nodded and slid down on the floor feeling sick to my stomach. He sat near me plashing his arms on his knees and playing with his leather bracelet he had on his wrist after taking it out.

My head must have felt heavy or dozed off because suddenly I hit something soft and I, at that moment felt how his all body went stiff. “Don’t worry I have no power to jump and hump you.” I said lifting it and gaze into his eyes noticing I still had the mood to joke.

He nodded and continued playing while I averted my eyes toward the large windows, looking how the drops of rain splashed them, making them dissipate on contact.

My body once felt the impact on a cold concrete but I lived. In my dreams I still felt the pain linger as it erupts through my body and I needed air.

"Thank you," I said again trying to pull myself from the dark thoughts which in the last week seemed to be occupying my mind often.

"For what?" Rick asks, turning his head toward me.

"For stopping them... I guess, usually I didn't mind getting my ass kicked but today..." I trailed off trying to stop before I was all naked in front of Rick and in my vulnerable state in which my mind submerged I could start saying more things that it was needed.

"Don't need me to thank ... I accepted that plan at some point."

I snorted making both chuckle a bit. I wish all the time to be like these without hate, without people throwing bad words to each other, but I know it was just a silly dream of mine.

My heart was broken and I suddenly woke up friendless, while talking with a kid that by tomorrow he will be too ashamed to admit he been around me.

I heard footsteps but I didn’t pay much attention, but all of a sudden before me someone shape appeared, snatching my view. Rick tensed and stood up. A pale Mickael appeared looking rather lost in thoughts and mumbling things, ignoring us.

“Wait Luca…” I heard someone voice, while Mick after catching his breath walked faster vanishing after a corner not before yelling something.

“Let me alone Jaxon.”

The man passed near us but stopped with a frown.

“Detention room I presume.”

We both nodded, while he knocked at the door, making Sky come out.

“Weren’t you supposed to be at the bathroom peeing?” He asked me lifting his eyebrow then let out a gasp when he turned to the man in front of us, vividly going pale.

“Long time no see…” He said smiling and reaching his hand toward Sky. I stare puzzled how Sky ignored his hand slightly annoyed but as well having a new look in his eyes. He was scared of something and deeply worried. I know those eyes.

“What do you want?” He asked coldly.

“Tyler was happy to see me, but I see you still have a grudge against me… It is not my fault that …” He stopped and glanced at us. “I came to see my cousin, JD.”

His eyes widened suddenly and I could swear Sky just choked with his own spit. I started to look back and forth at the two guys in front of me, feeling how the curiosity was blossoming inside.

“Chris inside now…”

He yelled and I froze. He reached my head and caressed it gently apologizing, seeing that flinched. “I just need to talk with him.” I nodded and Rick dragged me in the classroom, sitting near me, while all gasped in horror.

“What did you two guys do so long in the bathroom?” JD asked smirking.

“I bet he gave Rick a blow job.” Anthony continued. “I hear he likes to suck all guys’ dicks, like a slut he is.” Saying this I felt my heart aching and gripped the hem of my shirt, trying to fight back my tears, until I felt Rick hand on my shoulder.

“Shut up, Anthony.” He snarled at him. Rick stood up and he was really going for a straight kill. He instantly gripped his fingers in Tony's neck, choking him. “I’ll kill you for fucking that bitch who I thought she was my girlfriend. You both hope you’ll rot in hell.”

JD pulled him off him and threw him on someone which yelped in pain, crushing that poor soul under his weight. Exactly, it was me.

“Oh!” James said, while he stood there just watching. I stood up limping slightly, but ignored the pain and walked outside, slamming the door, and stormed passing Sky who nearly jumped at the guy neck shouting endless profanities.

“Chris!” I heard him shouting. “Come here you idiot.” I didn't stop, I ran away from everything and all. I do not know how much I ran but when I stopped I could barely breathe and. I lift my head and let the pouring rain wash my sadness, my tears, my fears, while a thunder made me flinch. I looked around and I noticed I was near “home”.

A place I called home since I got out of that hospital. Shaking and with a trembling jaw I opened the front door and a wave of warmth caressed my cold skin. It smells of sweets and I smile sad. "Mommy..." always made tasty cakes and food. She took me in without any question while Theodore refused to let go of my trembling hand.

I recall how hazy my mind was. Now all it was clear, while I was still myself I'll end it all.

Walking through the entry hall It gave me a nostalgic feeling of my real home, before my big brother caught me kissing another boy, before that boy crushing my heart denying he kissed me as well, before …

I close my eyes only to feel my heart slamming in my chest and "drums" in my ears. I took a deep breath. I was alone in the house. Walking slowly to my narrow room I grazed the walls, the furniture, until my fingers found the scissors.

I’ll cut my past with them, everything that reminds me of them. Tears started to flow while gripping the scissors from my hand. I could hear small footsteps behind me. Probably it was Adam. I remembered he had a cold.

He was a boy who was like me, abandoned. I always scared him with my seizures but he always ccame back, when my mind submerge in oblivion. I let out a puff while arriving at my last destination – my room.

I locked it while I could hear his frail voice, shouting to let him in. I closed my eyes and in my mind flowed everything, abruptly, then everything went blank, while I lifted my hand and hit the first thing I saw. I felt anger, sadness and sickness toward all.

I hated all with all my heart for taking away my innocence and abandoning me like an animal, I hated them for betraying my trust; I hated him for stealing my heart.

I was right; nobody will save me now from myself. I was all alone. I fall in the knees while gripping harder from the scissors. Next I’ll cut my flesh and let myself slowly fading in a river of blood.

A lightning flash revealed the images of my room before my eyes. Everything was chopped and cut, while the feathers from my pillows slowly were falling down, dancing between my eyes.

I lift the scissors pointing them toward my heart, shakling, while biting my lip until I felt the metallic taste in my mouth, and smiled, while cowardly released them.

Suddenly I was pulled in someone's arms holding me tight to his chest.

“I’m here baby boy; I’ll never let you alone.”

He whispered, while I struggled to get myself free.

“I’m sorry, I been a bad boy.”

I turn around and before me I see two tired but warm amber eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and I cried until I passed out.

“No baby boy, you’re a good child, loving and …”

Was the last thing I heard, everything else became just an echo in my mind like the song he hummed to calm me down.

Theodore, I made him come again to look over the pathetic me.