I felt like someone ripped my heart out violently and then stepped on it, crushing it, while he was smiling, like it was a piece of trash, while I watched from the first row, shouting painfully.

I feel cold, while my wet clothes were taken off from me.

The white sheet is wrapped around my exposed body, covering my scars, while I shook uncontrollably. I gripped from it, while Sky tugs a t-shirt through my head. It has Mickael cologne all over it and looked a bit loose on me.

“Baby boy they will be a bit large but are dry.”

I heard Sky talking with me but I did not reply, I just stared at the floor, at my clothes, like once I discarded them, now I was exposed and vulnerable, like it were my shield.

I can feel the bed dipping under Mickael weight while he took off the sheet making me flinch.

“Take these pants.” I nodded and I put them on me with his help, unable to look in his eyes, feeling my face burning from shame, that he had to see my body, my scars, my sin …

A sin that made me lose everything, even the single person which always protected me with her embrace.

A single kiss, which was my downfall…

Something warm on my forehead pulled me out of my thoughts and before me two beautiful green eyes blossomed before being embarrassed. Perhaps by what he did or feeling sorry, he made a sign to Sky; which held my body, while slowly lost all my power and felt sick, while Mickael left the room, letting only us, alone.

His arms around my shivering body made me remember each second of James betrayal, Anthony victorious smirk when he just stood there watching how JD nearly beat me, but the word he whispered made me realize how hypocrite he can be. “Fag.”

He fucked me, liked it, he was like me. I snorted.

“Are you okay baby boy?” I heard Sky whispering, while stroking my back in gentle touches, while my head was on his chest, trying to repress my heavy sobs. I curled in a ball and panted trying to breath. My whole body was now convulsing from a new wave of tears.

I could not stop. Not now when all my being was crushed.

I nodded, but he knew that I wasn’t.

“Cry and release the pain away.”

He continued and kissed my forehead.

I couldn’t move. I could only cry and think what Rick will do with the small information I slipped. A wave of guild passed through me the moment he stormed out. I still loved him.

Love made me blind to who Anthony really was.

I stared at the window, feeling my eyes burning heavy and trying to stop the images from my mind, of what happened in the past week. The day I met them both and my darkness secret which slowly were unveiling under my eyes, making me tremble, while my most hidden scars started to burn me to the core of my heart.

James I met him through my doctor, his father, Anthony I met him … when did I really meet him?

The door slammed open and a worried Mickael entered, while Sky tried to hold me tights to his chest, while I was unable to stop shouting, unnoticed.

“Make all go away,” I said, while my head tilted toward him.

“Bring me the damn pills!” I heard Sky shouting, but his voice was overlaid by the secretary telling me to come to the Principal office.

“To the principal office the fellow students to be presented in the next ten minutes without any delay: Anthony LeBlank, Joseph Darius Rikaart, Christopher Sebastian Schieff, James Seong, Rick…” And the list continued, but before my eyes only saw black.

I couldn’t remember much or how much time passed, but I felt my voice raucous, and scratches on my arms and Sky’s, while my breath slows down.

I felt Sky palm over my forehead and a sight.

“You have a fever.”

He only said flatly. My breath was slow and I was feeling light headed. I opened my eyes, clutching my stomach.

“He must be present…”

Mickael opened his mouth, but what he said mostly seemed to be whispering. I nodded lowly ensuring Sky I’ll manage, but the moment I stood up; my knees let me down, falling near the bed. Sky pulled me from my arm and lifted me in his arms.

I tried to fight him to put me down, but had no drop of power in my body.

Lethargic, I let my arm fall down limply, sinking my head in his armpit, to hide the embarrassment of the situation, while Sky got out from the nurse room and in just a few seconds, I’ll become the gossip number one in the all school. I could only gulp.

The road toward the principal seemed an eternity. I could feel the burning stares and snickering of the other kids. Why do they all laugh like that? I opened my eyes and looked around and only I could see mocking smiles and mugs, behind Sky.

All were toward me.

Approaching that dreadful place I tried to calm down, hiding my urge to scream in their faces, I was still standing, bitches, but I knew that inside, they shattered me.

The moment we arrived I let out a puff, while feeling shivers all through my body. I felt the hatred in Anthony's eyes, but as well Rick’s. Glaring at him, I noticed, he had his knuckles bleeding. Glancing better, Tony's nose was bleeding at that moment. A smile appeared on my face, making him more enrage.

“Fucking retard you’ll pay…”

He spat trying to approach me but between us, interposing and pushing him back into the wall was Rick.

“I’ll smash your head in that wall, fucker.”

He yelled at Anthony, while in the corner of my eye, trough haze I spotted Alyona. Her head was ruffled and her makeup was all stretched on her face. I let out a snort, while all the gazes felt on me.

After that, I just there numb on the chair, while tears were falling down, glancing at my former friends. I had two I really cared for and who I thought they accepted me, but they were just using me, Anthony for his stress relief and James… Don’t know why.

I was now just a spectator to a play before my eyes while they were shouting at each other and pointing fingers toward me.

“Rick…what the fuck you did today?” JD suddenly shouted in his face. “Did you forget the plan?” He just shrugged, glancing slightly toward me and turned with the back to them.

“He is just a fucking chicken…” Anthony continued, while whispering something to JD and both smiled.

My body stiffened when I felt a caress on my shoulder, but relaxed when I looked up seeing Sky looking concerned, while he tried to smile.

His eyes moved to the bracelet I had on my hand. It was black and had a cross. It was the single thing I had that always calmed me down.

It was my Uncle Theodore precious item, which I received.. He told me everything, while I was on that hospital bed. The single person who came to visit me and talked with me, ensuring that everything will be fine...

“Come on boys!” I heard the secretary's voice while she started talking on the phone. I could clearly hear with who she was talking when passed near her desk, toward the principal office, helped by Sky.

“Mr. Willis you’re called at school…”

Once I entered the office everything seemed tense. My body was trembling and I could barely stand up. I lean on Sky chest and stood there with my head down, listening how they pointed me to be the guilty person, while Sky tried to defend me.

I could not speak, just listen to all the lies they said.

“Mr. Schieff…” I was pulled back to reality by the principal harsh tone and I stared at him. “What do you say to defend yourself toward all these accusations’?”

I kept my mouth shut, while the words got stuck in my throat.

“We... just fucked a bit.”

I suddenly blurted out, while titled my head toward Anthony, making all gasp. At that moment I didn’t even register what I said, but only knew that words were coming out of my mouth.

It was like my own self was pushed deep in an abyss and someone else took over my body.

“Little Christopher it is a bad boy.”

At that moment I felt dizzy and felt in my knees, feeling the burning gazes of all.

“You think this is a joke, young man?”

The principal asked, but I could only hear him like a ring in my ear, while my head felt like it was exploding. I felt Sky arms around my torso, while felt the bitter taste of vomit in my mouth.

“Fuck you…”

I do not know whose voice was for a second until I noticed the door from the office was wide open and Mickael it was in front of it, pale like a sheet of paper. They all are distracted by him, while I stayed nearly in my own vomit, before everything faded in bleakness then the voices appeared from the obscurity, haunting me.

“Christopher is a bad boy and he needs to be punished…”

Then pain, while my screamed echoes through the small dirty room. my eyes met my mother's hateful gaze, while I felt the burning lashes on my back, my tights.

“No son of mine is a sinner, pray and be cured.”

He shouted in my ear, while my whole body ached. My eyes never left my mother, who until a few days ago was the most wonderful and loving woman.

I fell in love for the first time and that broke me down, the second time had killed me.

I opened my eyes and I noticed that I was back in the nurse office. Outside menacing storm clouds gathered in the sky, howling heavy, while the trees dance before the window. Inside was a dim light.

I couldn’t move. My body was stiff and I was afraid that if I moved he would hurt me again.

“Chris?”

I heard a chair scraping against the floor echoing through the room, but I do not turn or say anything, just mumbling incoherent words.

I did it again. I was a shame to all.

The bed sank and I felt Sky finger passing through my hair.

“Wait a bit here and we will go home okay baby boy?”

I nodded weakly knowing well what I’ll do.

“Thank you…” I said shuttering unable to meet his eyes. I heard the door closing and trembling. I tried to stand up from the bed only to fall back, feeling dizzy. Slowly, in the end I managed to stand up and walk out, but I was pushed back and I hit the floor feeling how the pain emerged through me, making me yelp.

I looked up and before me stood Anthony which looked pretty pissed off, behind him James and JD appeared as well. I let out a soft chuckle to drain for fighting with them. One hit and all my pain could go away.

“Why the fuck you said that…I…never slept with you.”

Anthony eyes averted from me toward the floor, while he was biting nervously his bottom lip. I could see James tensing behind him.

I opened my mouth and debated if to cut the rope or let him hang himself.

“You fucked me like it and I do not care what all say…”

“You fucked the fag?”

I heard JD voice interrupting my thoughts. I looked at Tony and he seemed to get a bit pale, but he denied by saying I was lying to get back on him. I could clearly see on JD's face he didn’t buy anything.

“Dude, I banged that hoe Saturday.”

He said with a smug on my face, making my heart ache deeply. So there he was, while I waited, until my… deepened fears took over me. At that moment I felt hot tears on my face but didn’t care, while James stared at me, not saying anything.

“No wonder Rick nearly smashed your face.”

They both started talking like I was invisible. I was and always have been. I only held up from a strand of hope all that time, thinking he loved me, like I did.

Anthony pulled the trigger and killed me by confessing in front of me when he sent that messaged fooling me saying he’s coming to me.

“You know…” I open my mouth cutting off their meaningless chat before me. “I just realized until now I lived surrounded by lies. Sometimes I don't even know anymore who is the real me. I can’t distinguish anymore what it is reality and where my madness starts. Everything is separated by a thin veil. But I do know … I love you with all my heart and never forget that.”

With saying that I found power to stand up for the last time and pushed my way through them, walking ahead without watching back or stopping at Anthony cuss toward me. In a hurry a familiar figure passed near me, his jet black eyes reminded me of ... my sweet and loving Theodore husband. I couldn’t believe I always forget them, my only family I had. I failed them all.

I shook my head trying to block his face, his warm eyes. He will be better without me. Perhaps he will mourn me a bit, but in rest nobody will. I was always surrounded by "friends", but none were close to my heart, for them I was just the clingy kid.

The moment I stepped outside the cold gust of wind ripped through me… One thought had - was my time to submerge in my endless sleep without pain and nightmares.

Shakling, I started to walk toward the gate when suddenly I was pulled back nearly making me stumble and fall down. I hit a hard chest and a shy touch on my head made me turn around to see who stopped .

Before me was Rick, who had a lost puppy look on his face.

"I'm sorry."

It was the only thing he said before pulling me from my hand and dragging me back to school unable to fight back and slightly happy for a reason.

He held my hand all the way. I stared at his back perplexed by his action.

"Thank you."

In the end I mumbled afraid that this was just a dream and soon all will vanish before my eyes. I was afraid, but still let him take me. I was prepared for anything, the worst thing already happened today.

My jaw dropped the moment I saw where I was brought - to the detention class. In it were all my fellow friends in suffering and few others kids I know from view. On the desk was an annoyed Sky which lightened up the moment I entered.

I waved and sat in the front desk, putting my head on my arms, waiting the hour to pass.

"Be there!" Sky said on the phone and looked a bit scared even though he tried to look calm. I snickered slightly and turned my head toward the window and met Anthony’s eyes, which were fixed on me.

"Your parents are now in the principal office talking about your latest pranks and old ones." Sky announced to us, but after a time his voice was just sound in the background, while Anthony's eyes made me shiver.

'You'll pay!"

He told me and turned to chat with some kids.