On our way home, in the car; everything was in a deep silence and the atmosphere tensed. The music was off while Sky eyes were straight on the road humming something, a song he listened mostly all day. He looked composed. Neither I nor Sky had the courage to look behind, at Theodore though, which was pretty mad at us at this point.

I closed my eyes and started to recall our Saturday late at night which was quiet and relaxing . Sky was on his bed, staring at the ceiling, mostly sore, missing David, but as well Marcus, they made an odd couple back then, but they kept Sky away from drugs, even after he relapsed a year later from what Theodore and Tyler told me, when Marcus decided that was time to move on.

Theodore was staring blankly at a photo album, while me talking on the phone with Tyler, who was drunk and feeling lonely, to coward to call his husband, while Anthony who knows where was instead of keeping an eye on his brother.

Not long after we received the call. Sky jumped from the bed having as well a grimace on his face, dressing in a hurry. The moment he slipped the kid's name, Theodore head snapped into his direction.

“Why didn't any of you tell me anything about this?” Suddenly I heard Theo’s voice and my thoughts were scattered. Sky slowed down and pulled over and we both turned to him. He had his eyebrow up and his forehead wrinkled.

“Theo, you already have enough in your mind and the last weeks were already too much for you to handle.” Sky said gripping the wheel, but not watching him, instead he glanced at me.

“How many times?”

He continued, while both of us cleared our throats, trying to calm him down.

“Few times in the last weeks and beside this one, few days ago during school lunch, he kind of scared Tony and James.”

I stared at Sky not knowing this fact either. Was that sweat on Sky forehead? A smirk appeared in the corner of my lip, while he lost his calm appearance. I felt a slap over my shoulder, but Theo gaze made us both stiff again.

“It is near the date which causes all the pain for that kid, that's why.” Theodore said to us then he stared blankly not saying anything else, knowing well that he thought again of his past. That look in his eyes, scared, lost and filled with pain.

“Maybe you should stop giving those pills to him,” I mumbled enough that Sky can hear me.

“It is for his own good.” He said, while turning on the car engine.

“Same thing they told to my brother as well, and where he is now?” I snapped at Sky making Theodore finch. He hated when someone was shouting. He gasped and let his head down, playing with the hem of his shirt. I felt suddenly guilty for yelling. I still see him, screaming and kicking, yelling toward us how much he hated us for locking him there, then forgetting about him for nearly two years, alone between four walls.

“I’m sorry,” I heard Theo softly whispering and my heart ached.

“You should never say sorry, I’m the one who should, and it is not a day that I do not regret what happened back then. I was young, but I should have known better, that…” I felt his hand caressing my shoulder, stopping me. “It is just that, are a few weeks until…” I couldn’t continue. I felt a lump in my throat, while my eyes were filled with tears.

Theo didn’t say anything. He just stared blankly but his jaw was trembling. That day he nearly died, before my eyes alongside my brother, which couldn’t be saved and the only thing left was my brother's diary to remember them. A diary telling a grotesque plan to shatter an innocent child and the picture that Ivan kissed Theodore, that Tyler gave it back to me, when they took me from that hospital bed.

As well that day, I was left alone, while my soul was crushed and grieving. I needed him there, to hold me and tell me everything will be fine, but he left me and vanished, letting me sink deep in my desolation.

I hope I’ll never see Alex, but my heart yearned for him, even now.

"I..."

Hearing Theo voice I turned around noticing he was still playing with the hem of his shirt, shyly. Even if years passed he still looked mostly like when he was a teen, bit matured meanwhile making him looking - beautiful. A smile appeared on my face and I snorted. Theo looked at me and a shy smile after weeks, escaped his lips.

"Let's go visit our old hanging place." He suddenly says, blushing.

We both nodded. I know why he wants to go there. Tyler's house was near, in that park was the last time his group of friends and I spent our last moment of tranquility, before a friendship was shattered, Theo was ripped to pieces by them...

Maybe stopping a bit and taking one breath of fresh air will be good. I might erase the image of that kid, powerless, clinging and gripping Theo's small frame, like his life will depend on, if we go... That view was heartbreaking.

"That fucking ..." I heard Sky voice and stared ahead. My eyes widen. At the entrance, Anthony and a blond and petite girl were kissing and nearly humping each other. "He was banging that bitch I bet, while Chris was waiting for him..."

I hummed, while Theo's face darkened.

"I lost my mood!"

I nodded knowing well Sky will make that kid life hell Monday at school. We warned him not to play with Christopher, his message triggered his state. Theo stared at the glass while we passed near Tyler's old house.

Inside was dark and my thoughts went to him. He was alone and drunk, a thing I could not say to Theodore...

Once we arrived home, each departed to each of their rooms, while exhausted I crashed in the bed.

"I'm falling to pieces."

Suddenly, a random song was blasting from the other room making me fall from the bed when I turn on a side, making me wince in pain. My body was heavy and could barely keep my eyes open. I glanced at my watch and was barely eight in the morning. I cussed, but I knew Sky wouldn't hear me, because of the loud music.

"Good morning sunshine..." He said, while I came out from my room glaring at him. "Guess not the time to be in a good mood!"

He continued smirking about something he probably passed through his mind.

I nodded to him and walked near Theo’s room, opening slightly, as I noticed he was still sleeping, breathing softly. His veils were drawn down and it was dark inside. He was holding in his arms a photo and his room still had few plushed animals, he received from Tyler when he nearly died.

Sky touched my shoulder pulling me away from my thoughts.

"You dazed out again." He told me and smiled gently. "Stop tormenting you what happened ten years ago, you could not know what it will happen."

I nodded again brushing his hand over and closed the door.

"Make more for breakfast," I announced Sky walking toward the bathroom. He tilted his head and then he winked toward me, knowing for whom I talk about - Tyler.

The water jet hits my skin making me shiver. It was cold, but didn't mind, it made my body relax. While the water washed my skin my thoughts drifted to last night. I shouldn't get close to that kid, but I could not stay and see him struggling in bed, alone and scared, while he was suffering.

I know how to feel lost.

All of a sudden a shiver passes through my body and I punch the wall in front of me. If Anthony would stop playing his games, this wouldn't have happened.

The door suddenly slammed open and Sky entered, having a worried frown on his face.

"Are you okay, Luca?"

He asked, while I nod, feeling pain through my hand. He licked his bottom lip and a sly smile appeared on his face making me feel naked ahead those mischief hazel eyes

I hated when this bastard stared at me, while I was naked. I showed him my middle finger, while wrapping my towel around my waist and started to brush my teeth, still feeling Sky gaze upon me.

"We need to talk!" He suddenly says making me freeze.

"About what?" I asked, trying to sound like I don't know what he was talking about.

"AsChris, you're in my care as well, Luca, you can't hide from me." Sky yelled, then slowly low his tone regaining his calm. I don't reply but stare at the mirror, seeing him and letting Sky talk. "You have nightmares again about that time, you're scared. Don't you think I can't hear you tossing in bed during nights and crying?"

"Oh! You still can hear others while David fucks the shit out of you?" I said, while turning around slightly annoyed by his intrusion in my life.

I was fine! I always have been. He slightly pales and I feel a slight feeling of guilt taken over me but I didn’t show it.

"You're not fine Luca!" He continued looking straight into my eyes, not taking in consideration what I just said. "You avoid going out, falling in love, meeting new people. Your life is only between these walks, which makes you feel safe."

I stared at him and I clenched my jaw, trying to not snap at him and Theo to wake up. He didn't need extra worry. He has enough issues, and most was my fault.

"I'm fine!" I snapped at him, pushing him hard against the wall.

I feel upon my shoulder his touch and I was thrown to the floor. He grabs me hard from my hair and I feel my heart slamming into my chest, while my whole body paralyzed.

"You fucking slut!" He suddenly shouts and at that moment I felt my body trembling hard.

Sky expression softens and he let's go while wrapping his arms around my neck, kneeling in front of me.

"You're not fine, Luca." At the hearing of the last word I let out a snort. A small chuckle escaped his lips and he let go of my body, staring at me. "I didn't mean to do that, but you're one stubborn mother fucker... Luca, talk with me, don't shut yourself again."

I nodded while passing my fingers through my wet hair, shakling. Were things I couldn’t say, not to anyone. Not even to Theodore, who was like my brother. He would feel disgusted by me.

I kept my mouth shut back swearing I'll never say anything, what Patrick did to me.

"I'll go with you." Sky suddenly said, while standing up taking me by surprise. "You're not in any state to drive."

I sulked, but he had right. He made me feel like crap in just a few seconds and in his eyes were showing remorse.

"What about Theo?"

"Eziel is coming so he will take his mind from his issues for a brief time."

I nodded again, making me recall how Theodore was when we first met. So shy that he could barely speak and always was blushing while innocently was nodding to Leiv and Ivan's fake words of love.

Twenty minutes later we were both silently in the car. "Talk with Anthony about last night but don't fill all the holes of the story." I tell Sky. He turned his eyes and in them rage was building up.

"I will, trust me." He said in a cold tone.

Once we arrived we pulled the car near the old fence, which was dirty and broken both staring at the yard. Unkempt. Sky walked first and knocked on the door, while I held the little package with food.

I knew Tyler he wasn't eating much. Anthony was taking his money and spending on his needs, forgetting about Tyler, like last night, knowing well he should have stayed home and kept an eye on him.

The moment the door opened revealed a shattered young man. He was wearing the same pants he had on him yesterday and a black top. Under his eyes had deep dark circles, pale like a ghost, holding from his stomach with his arms and trembling while all his body was bathed in sweat.

He smiled weakly at us and made a sign to come in. Glancing at him I knew Theodore should know about him, he was destroying himself. I have been witness once with Theodore and I know how bad can end, I do not want to lose my friends, the single people which took me in their house when I was broken, not questioning me and gave me hope to live.

I didn't deserve Theodore kindness. He was falling to pieces with each breath because of me. I bit my cheek to not spill all, but I vowed to Theo, and I couldn't break my word.

I could see Anthony coming down yawning and stretching his arms, looking pretty joyful, considering his own brother's mental and physical state.

All of a sudden Sky walked ahead me, storming toward Anthony. In the blink of an eye he raised his hand and slapped him across his face, so hard that made him stumble and fell down on a stair.

"What the fuck you're doing?"

Anthony shouted, holding his face, while blood from his nose started to drip.

Sky face was red and yanked him from his arm.

"What did I tell you about Christopher?"

Tyler stared puzzled at the all scene, while I shrugged, feeling inside content for a reason.

This Sunday started to get a lot better than I anticipated.

"You... erase that goofy smile from your face."

I heard Anthony trembling voice, while Sky was yelling and cussing.

One thing about Sky: never make him angry. Looking at the scene before me, made me feel for a brief second, alive, and forgetting everything that I hide under a smile.

My smile slowly falters and I become numb. I could still hear Sky words echoing in my head. He knows what pushes me to the breaking point. I hated him when he did that.

Everything goes silently in the room and before my eyes I can only see him: Patrick laughing, while my body hurts so bad that I couldn’t even breath.

Tyler hand over my arm made me flinch and he noticed, pulling it fast. Sky was right, I was not fine, neither Tyler, who looked feverish, ready to fall down.

At least Theo was starting to pull himself together, I hoped.