“I’m coming tonight, angel.”

It had been four hours since I received this message from Anthony. In my room it was dark and the single sound came from a small fan, which scattered the heat that choked me.

My smile faded with the passing minutes, letting behind just a frail trail of happiness and an unsettling feeling, that burn inside of me, ready to erupt to surface, dragging me in the pits of hell.

I stared at the phone and not a single reply came back. He would come; I know he won’t let me alone, during the night. I felt my heart hammering in my chest, while a soft ring echoed in my head.

I hated when the lights went off, then my demons came to life and had a shape, torturing me. I needed someone near; I needed Tony, like always, cuddling him, resting my head on his arms, making me forget, the unknown boy with green eyes which always told me to die, because I was a sinner. The faceless woman who crossed burned my skin, telling me I’m not her son anymore.

I tossed in bed, feeling my body washed by a cold sweat, while my head was pierced by pain.

Each time I was alone, the room became narrow and my mind was flowed by images I do not recall.

“Forget.” I heard James voice. I remember telling me this but why? A sob escaped my lips and I felt restless.

“Come.” I shouted.

I gripped my phone and I know what I must do. Shaking I dialled his number and waited, while my body was captured by heat and I felt my breath shallow. My view becomes fuzzy, while slowly I felt the bleakness taking over me.

I shook my head, I was scared, to be alone, I couldn't keep my eyes open. Were heavy, while I drifted into oblivion, and I heard my demon voice…

“Why are you still breathing…”

Then I heard my voice, while I screamed, the door opened wide and my phone fell down on the floor.

“Your mother is here, baby boy!”

She told me, while holding me. I was scared, while my eyes flickered to stay open, while I wrapped my hands around her body. In the corner of my eyes I could see my little brothers, gathering and frightened.

Again I scared them all.

“Adam, call Sky for me.”

I heard her shout nervously, while she was holding me tight to her chest. I heard footsteps then darkness. My body went numb.

I felt warmth and when I opened my eyes again my body was light. I turned around and before me was a set of amber eyes, piercing me. They were tired but soft.

He was here. “I forgot something,” I mumbled, while he caressed my back, smiling at me.

“It is okay, angel.” He said, while continuing to stroke my back, slowly feeling ashamed of me. He came here because again I had a panic attack. It was the second time this week. I remembered it now. I chuckled sadly, while he raised his eyebrow.

“No wonder Anthony left me…” I trailed off.

“No.!” I heard Sky’s voice, filled with angst. “Sebastian, he…”

“You’re fine without him.” Sky got cut off by him and I could feel tears falling down my face, staining the pillow which was already bathed in my sweat. My head was throbbing heavily and felt nausea. I could not speak, only cry silently feeling that they should not be bothered with me.

I was a sinner, as she called me, five years ago, when I got picked like a stray dog by him. Were days I could clearly see his face, like today. He was thin, pale but has beautiful features, and shorter than me, but as well stronger than I could be, while were days he was faceless and nameless and I know were days my mind felt in oblivion, where I was loved and I was at peace.

I was my own demon, which I can't fight against. This was the real me. Not the mask I use, the joyful kid, instead I was bitter ...

My body scars tell my story, a body I was ashamed of showing to someone when the light it was on. I was ugly, a monster. Not even Tony saw it, it was always dark when we …

“Stop this Chris. You’re beautiful. Was a time I thought the same, seeing my own reflection but was someone who told me, I’m beautiful the way I was.”

I stared at him. How he knew what I was thinking, then realized. I said my thoughts loads, yelling while kicking him.

I was horrible.

He let me lose while standing up.

“Don’t leave me, uncle Theo, I promise I’ll be a good boy…”

I pleaded, gripping from his shirt, while he gently smiled. In the frame door, with his arms crossed at his chest was Mickael, while Sky was near the bed, talking on the phone, heated with someone, but in a low tone.

Theo pulled Sky out and Mickael walked toward me and sat on the bed, while my body was ravished by the fever.

“Everything will be fine.”

He said, glaring at my wrists while frenetically I was playing with the bracelet I received from Theo the day he saved me from the pits of hell I threw myself, my family and all I cared.

He placed his hand over mine, stopping me, while he let out a sight.

“You hate me, what you’re doing here?” Flatly I asked him, while stared in his cold gaze.

His eyes soften and caressed the bracelet, touching my skin, shyly with his thumb.

“I do not hate you just…” He stood up, walking through the room. “You just have something that belonged to me.” I snorted. He was childish.

“Let him alone, Luca…” Theo entered the room with a glass of water and pills in the other. He sat down near me and leaned down, kissing my forehead, protective like a mother. On the hallway I could hear my mommy’s sob clearly, while she was trying to get the rest of my brothers to bed.

“Take this pills and sleep.” Theo told me, while Sky enters the room, trying to smile like nothing happened. I took shakling the pills while sipping from the glass, feeling the bitterness going down my throat and making me gag.

Theo sat near me, taking me in his arms, rocking me back and forth, while my head is sunk in his chest, heavy.

“Do you remember what happened?” Sky asked me and I nodded.

“Anthony…” I said, while I felt my body becoming numb and my mind fuzzy, as the pills kicked in, remembering him slightly all over the sudden. My view slowly was taken by a haze and I could only hear whispers.

“I’m going to kill that fucker, I clearly told him…”

“I love him so much,” I mumbled, while my eyes shut down and all the voices fades away, I still felt warmth around my body and his voice, telling me to forget. I loathe when I see their worried look on someone like me, I do not deserve them...

After that, everything became foggy before my eyes, while fluttering my eyes a strand of light made me close them back, cussing naughty things, because perturbed my beauty sleep.

The door slammed open and my mom was holding her hands on her hips and with an eyebrow raised glances at me, sighting.

“Boy, it is Sunday and you cuss like a broken machine.” She said looking joyful at me.

“Mommy…” I say taking out my tongue to her. “I want pancakes”. She nodded and left the room. I stared and noticed my phone on the small black desk near the bed.

There were few calls dialed toward Anthony and I shrugged. My head throbbed and the last thing I remembered was me, waiting for Anthony…