Trigger warning - Depression is mentioned.

Yellow Rose - Friendship

Jeremy

The Christmas/New Years break was over before I knew it. My family and I spent a lot of time together. We did a lot of crying and we just spent time remembering Jean. One thing that bothered me was the way I spoke to Donovan. I instantly regretted what I did the moment the words left my mouth. His happy expression never faltered and it made me feel even sadder

As soon as I see him today, I have to fix things. I couldn't apologize to him earlier because I couldn't find my phone and I didn't know his number from memory. I wasn't going to visit his house because I'm scared that his Dad might murder me. Although his Dad seemed cool, there was something about his eyes that scared the crap out of me.

I looked around and I couldn't find Donovan anywhere. It was only 7:20, so he probably didn't reach as yet. I walked to an empty bench and sat. My gaze stayed on the gate, waiting for him to come.

After five minutes I became restless. I stretched my arms and yawned. I turned my face to the left and I saw Jason coming towards me.

"Jeremy. Hey."

"Hey."

He gave me a handshake and sat beside me.

"I saw you here alone and I thought it was the perfect time to come talk to you. What's up?"

Jason looked the same. Brown skin and big brown eyes. We were around the same height and body weight. I used to call him my fraternal twin brother. It hurt so much to think about the past.

"Thanks for coming to talk to me. I didn't have the guts to approach you first."

I couldn't keep his gaze.

"You know, my mum misses you." He paused for a moment. "I miss you too..."

I really couldn't look at him now.

"I know things have been hard for you. I can't imagine what you've been through. I just wish you didn't push me away. I felt so helpless when Jean died. Things got worse when your depression came and I couldn't help you. I feel like I've been a bad friend to you."

"You've never been a bad friend to me. I pushed you away. It's all my fault. You never did anything wrong." I finally looked up at him. He looked very hurt.

"Jeremy..."

"Jason, no. I was wrong. I'm sorry. I—"

"We were both wrong and were both idiots. Can we agree to disagree?"

I quickly nodded. "I'm still sorry though. I miss you and I love you, bro," I blurted out.

He burst out laughing. "Love you too, Jer."

We gave each other a side hug and I've never been happier. Has it always been this easy to fix relationships? Jason signalled to someone and two figures came over. His girlfriend Lisa and her friend Brianna.

Brianna had dark brown skin and jet black curly hair. Everyone always says that she's beautiful, but I could never see it.

I didn't like her and maybe I was being irrational. She made me extremely uncomfortable. She confessed to me one time and she made it an entire spectacle. I told her I didn't like her and she made a big deal out of it. I didn't like the drama.

"Hey," she said to me with a smile.

I nodded at her and turned my attention back to the gate. Donovan was here, but he was sitting at another bench all alone. I bet he's mad at me.

"So, we're thinking of going to the Festival in a few month. Musical guests are coming and there's going to be games," Lisa said. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or them, so I didn't pay her any attention. My primary focus was Donovan.

"Um...Jeremy do you want to come to the festival?" Jason asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Jeremy you have to come," Brianna said slightly touching my hand. I instantly moved it away.

"I'll think about. I'll see you later Jason. Thanks for the talk."

We shook hands again and I went on the pursuit of Donovan. I hesitantly approached the bench he was sitting on.

"Hi."

He looked at me with a frown. I've never seen this expression on him before.

"Hey."

His bruised fingers gripped his backpack. I wondered what happened to his fingers.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." His tone of voice made me extremely sad, but I deserved it.

"I just wanted to apologize to you. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I was very mean to you and you don't deserve that ever."

"Well, I'm sorry for being annoying."

"No. You never ever annoy me. My family has a lot going on and Rory just.. he got a little emotional. I'm sorry for how I acted."

"Okay."

He looked everywhere but me. He took out his phone, pressed a button, the slipped it into his pocket. "I'm disappointed with how things are between us. I think I rely on you too much and it's not a good thing."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's nothing. I have Chemistry. See you later." He stood up and walked away from me.

🥀🌾

Donovan has been distant with me all week and I felt awful. His usual bubbly persona was overtaken by a sad aura. The frown on his face seemed to be permanent. I felt responsible. Did my attitude and words really negatively affect him? As we're sitting here in biology, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Donovan, on the other hand, refused to look at me.

"So, the second term will be over and exams will be in May. I'll be honest, I'm worried about this class. Donovan is the only one that's passing, Jessica and Liam are barely passing and the rest of you are failing horribly. What's going on?"

For the first time, Mister Williams looked annoyed. His hair was dyed silver and he surprisingly had piercings in both his ears. He would look so much cooler if his clothes matched.

Today's outfit consisted of an oversized blue hoodie, brown dress pants and sneakers. His outfit choices were absolutely impossible. The class stayed absolutely quiet as he spoke.

"I know this isn't an easy class, but I just don't understand why some of you can't even get a 60% on the mini quizzes. This is ridiculous."

Well, I know I sucked for sure. I was really bad at Science subjects. I never passed a Physics or Chemistry test. I'm surprised I'm even passing Math. The class remained quiet and he got even more annoyed.

"Am I having a conversation with myself? When I ask you guys if you understand the work, you always say yes and when I get the test papers, you write nonsense. Talk to me. Do I need to change my teaching style? Do I have to go over the work more often? Come on."

Once again nobody replied.

Then, a hand beside me shot up.

"Yes, Donovan."

"Maybe we make notes as a class. We can go through the chapters and makes summaries based on the important things. I think we can also go over the last few tests and look at our mistakes and work on those, so we fully understand."

This is the first time he's spoken in the class. I was proud of him. He's always so shy.

"I'll take that into consideration Donovan. Thank you for the feedback. Anyone else?"

Once again, we stayed quiet.

Mister Williams let out a groan. "I need some coffee. I'll be back."

He shoved his hands into his oversized hoodie and stormed out the class. Teaching is an admirable profession.

"Do you feel special since you're the only one passing? You're so annoying and that's why nobody likes you. I bet you think you're better than all of us," Melissa said aloud.

I was confused about who she was talking to. There's no way it could be directed to Donovan. When I first met Melissa in my first year of high school, I didn't like her because she was so mean. She made nasty comments to everyone in the class, even teachers. It's been five years and I still don't like her.

"I know right. He acts like he's better than us. Notice he doesn't talk to us? He came from a rich school," Nina chimed in.

Nina always followed everything Melissa said or did. She's the worst type of person because she never thinks for herself. I began to feel very frustrated. Have they lost their minds? I glanced at Donovan and he just looked at them without saying anything. I wanted him to say something, anything. But he kept his mouth shut.

"You might be passing Biology, but I bet you're miserable. You don't have friends. Jeremy doesn't even talk to you anymore. He probably got tired of pitying you. You're a freak," she spat out.

Her words were venomous.

"Are you done?" I asked her.

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm not. You walk around the school, with flowers on your head like an idiot. It's like you're asking to be bullied. You might be smart in class, but in reality, you're so stupid. Sometimes, I just want to punch that look off your face."

Donovan actually flinched. He squeezed his hands on the edge of the desk. 

“You know, Melissa. What if I said I wanted to punch that look off your face? Everyone would just to your defense right? So what if Donovan’s passing higher than all of us. That should motivate you. Instead of beating him down, you should work on yourself. You're a disgusting person and you're bitter. If you feel satisfaction from telling him those things, it says more about you than him."

I was fuming. I wanted to degrade her. I wanted to hit her where it hurts, but I know Donovan would be disappointed in me.

"I don't care about what you have to say, Jeremy. My words remain the same."

"I don't care about what you say either Melissa and you too Nina. You're nothing, but bullies. People like you are why people are afraid of expressing themselves."

I took a deep breath. I was pissed.

"I swear to God. If any of you say a word to Donovan in life, we're going to have a problem. That applies to all you who sat here in silence as they bullied him. If anything were to happen to you, wouldn't you want people to stand up for you? There's a reason why I don't like any of you. You're a bunch of cowards."

Donovan took up his stuff and ran out of the class. I quickly followed suit. I should've kept my mouth shut. The two of us bumped into Mr Williams and his coffee spilt over.

"Now, I have to make another one," he grumbled. "Where are you going?"

Donovan was crying and I probably looked irritated. He had one eye covering his eyes and another holding his bag.

"The students were giving him a hard time, sir. I couldn't just let them bully him, so I said some stuff and I made him even sadder. It's my fault."

"Can I be excused?" Donovan asked.

"No. I want to know what happened. I left for 5 minutes. You're telling me I can't leave young adults alone for 5 minutes? I think I'm going to teach primary school again. High school is too much."

Mr Williams motioned toward a staircase next to the classroom. Donovan took a seat, he but kept his face in his hands.

"Melissa and Nina hurt his feelings."

"What did they say?"

Mr Williams ran his hand through his hair. It stuck up in the air for a moment, then it went back to laying on his forehead.

"They called him a freak and they called him stupid. Melissa said he doesn't have friends, but he has me."

I took a deep breath and started to pace.

"Why are you so angry? It's not like they said anything to you."

"I can't let them talk to him like that. He's my friend."

My mind instantly went back to Christmas when I spoke to him in an aggressive way. I'm not different than them.

Mr Williams hesitantly nodded.

"I see." He turned to Donovan. "Are you ready to talk Donovan?"

"Only if Jeremy leaves."

I stopped pacing. "Donovan? I'm sorry."

He refused to look at me and I felt hurt.

"Are you sure?" Mr Williams asked.

"Yes. I'm sure."

Mr Williams sat beside him and watched me. He didn't have to tell me to leave. I walked back into the classroom, took my bag and started walking up the stairs.

"You're going in the wrong direction. I need you to get back to class, Jeremy."

"I can't. Can I go to the guidance counsellor? Please?"

"Do you promise that you're really going to her?"

"Yes, I am."

"Alright. Go ahead."

I walked to the guidance counsellor and spent the rest of the day in her office.