Dear Diary,

I am only writing this because mama said I should. So for the past week I keep waking up floating above my bed. I am not ok with the falling though. I always had dreams of flying but this is just weird. So a dream diary. Mama says that dreams will lead me where I am meant to be. Last night’s dream was pretty typical. I was hanging out with friends, but I don’t know which ones. I couldn’t see their faces. But we were running around the backyard with water guns. But it wasn’t our backyard. It looked more like Tanya’s but way bigger! I swear I was winning whatever game we were playing. My friend took my hand and we just started running. We ran away from the backyard, we ran through trees, and down streets. We kept going faster and faster but running wasn’t fast enough. So I held his hand tighter and we flew. We weren’t in the city anymore. I looked down and just saw a forest. When I looked up, we were watching the sun rise. I don’t remember it being night, but I know it was the sun rising. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen. I tried to look at my friend, but that’s when my alarm went off. I tried to hold onto the dream and just let my alarm do it’s thing. I didn’t fall right away, for once. But then, mama opened my door and I lost the dream feeling and fell. Today I fell back onto my bed though, so that’s better than the last few days.

Dear Diary,

I dreamt I was in school. Elementary school, again. But I was lost. It was my school, but I couldn’t find where I needed to be. Although everything was familiar, in the dream at least. The bell rang and I panicked, because it was dark, like it was night. Why would the bell ring at night? Why was I in my old elementary school again? I am supposed to be in middle school this year. I started to realize that I was dreaming. I tried to stay in the dream though, so I walked around exploring rather than panicking. When I found an exit I stepped outside, it wasn’t dark anymore. I jumped and tried to fly. It was super easy in the dream world. I flew up and up and up. I was aiming for a cloud, but I looked down and got distracted. The school wasn’t there anymore. It was kinda like looking down at pieces of a board game. Everything was in bright colors and looked like little plastic pieces. I watched for what felt like a long time, but you know, dreams. It’s never actually long. I tried to wake myself up. I opened my eyes as wide as I could, I shifted my body and made circles in the air. I tried yelling! Uh, that worked, actually. I woke up floating in my room again. It’s super hard to roll over without touching other things for force, but I tried anyway. I fell. Not on the bed. But it’s only like 3am right now. So I’m going to go back to sleep and try it again.

Dear Diary,

The dream of dreams! I dreamt I was a superhero! I was flying all over the world and saving people. I even had those cool earbuds like you see the secret service has on TV. They were telling me whenever I had a new mission. I don’t think I landed even once in that dream! The guy on the mic called me “Ace.” Kinda boring superhero name. But when I woke up, I had more control. I lowered myself to the floor! It wasn’t like a landing though, just a slower, less painful fall. I tried to fly while awake the other day. I think I was just jumping like an idiot. But maybe someday.

Dear Diary,

Was it a nightmare? The superhero dreams continued but last night’s was scary. I wasn’t just saving people but I was facing off with a villain. I don’t like fighting, but this guy was really mean. At first in the dream he was just holding 1 person hostage, but somehow he kept collecting more and more right in front of me. He hit them and made some of them cry, he held a gun to their heads and taunted me. I went after him and got the gun from him, but I was so scared he’d do it again, I hit him over the head with the gun repeatedly. I didn’t like that. I woke up crying. I don’t hit people. I wasn’t flying either when I woke up. But maybe being a superhero isn’t for me. That was just a dream and it really freaked me out to see that guy bleeding from what I did to him.

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while. I’ve been trying to not fly. I am back to falling when I wake up, or just not sleeping. Mama told me to sleep and worry about controlling the gift and she’d worry about protecting me. My dream last night was better. Maybe because Tanya and Shawn called, Tasha will be spending the weekend with mama and I. In my dream I was showing off flying to Tasha. She’s just 2 so it was easy to zoom all over the sky with her. When I woke up I was able to control it. I moved myself back over my bed and then landed, feet first. It was nice. Maybe I won’t be a superhero, but I don’t wanna be scared of this anymore.

Dear Diary,

Not a dream. A real life nightmare. I am writing when I should be packing. Tasha was over as planned, but she ran into the street, right in front of a bus. I didn’t even think I just chased her and picked her up. I felt the bus hit me, but I just, I didn’t let it push me. I was so desperate to protect the baby. I could feel the bus push forward around me until it stopped. I stepped away and there was like a mold of me in the crushed metal. Mama grabbed me by the arm and dragged us into the house. She locked the door before looking us over. She called Tanya and now…. now we’re moving in with Tanya and Shawn in Westbrooke. Leaving all my friends and my school. Everything. She says it’s to hide me. To hide what makes me special from people who would use me. I cried and begged but she refuses. So I am packing away 12 years of my life. It’s not that there isn’t room at Tanya’s house. Well, it’s Shawn’s I guess. His grandmother left it to him, so it’s plenty big enough. But Westbrooke is mostly rich white people. What if I don’t make friends? Or I don’t fit in? Mama’s yelling to tell me to pack unless I want the movers to pack it for me. I guess I’ll let them pack it for me.

Dear Diary,

Today I met Marc, and tomorrow is my first day of middle school in Westbrooke. Marc promised to stay by my side as much as possible and he’s coming over this weekend for a sleepover. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal since he lives next door. But he said he’d help me unpack and then kick my butt at some games. We’ll see.