Dear super villain diary,

It was a pretty boring day. River wasn’t in school today, so I spent the whole day plotting and scheming.

Okay, not the whole day. I attempted to plot for an hour then gave up in the end.

I was fairly bored.

There was no use to plan evil plans if there was no nemesis to use them upon!

"Why don't you just text them? I can gave you their phone number." My minion had asked me. Bah how foolish. I had to respond to him of course.

So, I proceeded to say, "Because minion, texting first is not a villain thing to do. Only heroes text first.”

Minions these days, I swear. This is why the minion business is only going downhill.

I was so bored that I’m writing this entry before the day ends! That’s so abhorrent, so vile, so… evil. At least I’ve still got it.

But why does it feel so unsatisfactory?

Oh, here we go. My minion approached me to talk.

My minion had asked me if it was evil to text River in an ambush fashion via texting first.

I think my minion is a genius. I will ambush River by texting first!

Brilliant!

Amazing!

And so unbelievably evil!

Signed,

Despicable assaulter of technological messages,

Binx.