I paced. My fingers dug into my face. I ran my hands through my rat’s nest of hair. I was losing it. I needed more adrenaline. I’d lose control if I didn’t get it in me very soon. My fangs were out. I felt the need to bite something. Anything, at his point. Looked around the room for anything. I grabbed my pillow and chomped down on it. It was flavorless and too soft, but at least I could bite it.

What had Rafael done to me?

He’d created a monster. It was like Sam said, once you got a taste, there was no going back. I screamed into my pillow. I was ruined. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be a proper vampire. I would forever be a slave to my needs, hating every moment of it. I imagined how many people I’d kill. I’d get good at it. Id stalk them like we were animals, waiting for a chance to take their life without mercy. I opened and closed my mouth on the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut. One word repeated itself in my mind. It was all I could think no matter how hard I tried to change my thoughts:

Slaughter.

Slaughter.

Slaughter.

It sounded better than ‘kill’ or ‘murder’. Slaughter felt darker, bloodier. I pictured blood splatter a white wall.

“Oh my god...oh my god!” I yelled before letting go of the pillow, immediately I needed something in my mouth again. Something more like flesh. I realized there was a body in this room. I could potentially bite it. I stared at my left forearm. Wrists had arteries too… I brought it to my lips. It smelled dead and unappetizing. I bit down anyway and immediately regretted it. Rotting fluid dripped onto my tongue and I had to pull away. I sputtered and coughed. The thick, blackish red goo trickled out of me, dribbling on the floor. It smelled horrid, and my wrist ached badly. I could feel slow movement inside me. It wasn’t satisfying though. I felt worse with each passing second. An odd feeling built in my chest slowly. Something shifted. I remembered when I tried to hurt Rafael twice. I had felt the same way.

It was time to feed.

I opened the door silently and crept up to the common room. Howie would have seen me if I wasn’t behind the wall. I waited for him to turn the other direction for about a minute. I ready to pounce when rafael yanked me back further behind the wall. I hissed and pulled as hard as I could to free myself, but he didn’t even seem like he was struggling to hold me.

“What did you do?” He questioned and promptly found my bite which was in the process of healing.

“Stupid boy,” he muttered and lugged me back to my room.

“I’m not stupid.”I turned to try and bite him but he avoided me and then glared. He threw me into my room and stood over me. His shiny black shoe crushed my lungs.

“Stop trying to hurt me.” He ordered, kneeling. I squeaked in pain.

“I do not have to be this nice to you.”

Fear took a turn in me. It wasn’t like being afraid as a human. There was no racing heart or adrenaline, just a signal to your brain telling you that you’re scared. I looked away, submitting. But I was still craving my drug.

“I need blood. I'll do anything.”

He sighed,

“I am sure you would, but you don’t need it. You are only having a fit because something caused it. Were you talking with your friend about something again?”

I nodded,

“About… last night.”

Another wave of famine hit me as I recalled the night before once again.

Rafael raised his eyebrows,

“Did you? How did he take it?”

I took a moment to recollect my partial sanity. Rafael waited patiently.

“He didn’t freak out. That’s all I could have asked.”

“Why did you tell him?”

“Because… I don’t keep secrets from him.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s my best friend.”

“Very good. And how do you treat your best friend?”

“I… don’t try to kill him.”

He nodded.

“Alright then. Work on remembering that. Now, as for others, the same does not apply. Do you want to go out again tonight?”

I bit my lip. My fangs almost punctured it, but I caught myself before they did. Did I want to? Again I had mixed feelings. Was what plagued me now worth the pleasure?

“Yeah…”

He nodded and turned to leave.

“You are going to stay here for the day. Remember that you have everything you need. You only want blood.”

He closed the door and locked it. I groaned and got up, moving to my bed. I curled up and tried to sleep.

After falling asleep hours later, I woke to rafael unlocking the door. I remembered our plans; I couldn’t wait.

This time brought me to McDonald’s. I held my breath.

“Try compelling them this time. I will make it easy for you. Have you done it yet?”

I nodded dreamily.

“You have to focus. Try to ignore how it smells. I have seen you do that at meals before. Be a little forceful, just a bit though. They will notice if you come on too strong.”

I let myself breath slowly, trying to keep it even. Grease forced a look of disgust onto my face. After a moment though, I got used to it.

“Her.” I muttered softly, looking at a larger lady in her 20’s. She wore strong perfume that worked like some sort of pheromone on me. I followed him up to her and sat down in her booth.

“Hello miss,” he greeted.

I just stared. She looked and smelled flustered. Rafael appeared to be in his late teen’s and I had to admit he was fairly attractive. I didn’t really know if I was good looking or not, but no one ever flirted with me as far as I could tell. I assumed it was everyone knew I was supposedly nuts.

“My buddy here couldn’t help but notice you sitting by yourself. He thought maybe he could escort you home.”

She scoffed,

“Really? You expect me to get in a car with a couple strangers? I have my own car. And I’m married.”

“You are?” where’s your ring?”

She looked at her finger and found that it was gone. She fell speechless.

“You must not get along well with him. You’re mad at him, aren’t you?”

She blinked,

“Yeah, I am.”

Rafael smirked, calm and charismatic.

I, on the other hand, wasn’t so calm. I was having trouble controlling my breathing and looking her in the face.

“What’s wrong with him?” she asked.

Rafael nudged me.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong with me,” replied shakily.

She raised her eyebrow,

“You look like you’re on drugs.”

I panicked. I’d failed. My mouth fell open and my fangs were showing. Rafael pushed my chin up quickly,

“He’s just nervous. He really likes you. He’s real sweet, just give him a chance, won’t you?”

“...Fine. My husband will fuck you up if you try anything slick.”

“He won’t even know this happened, because nothing bad will happen. Besides, he deserves to be punished for cheating on you. There’s no harm in making it a little more equal.”

Rafael stood to let me out and I got up. He stepped back, giving me access to her. I took her hand and helped her up. I shuddered at the feeling her pulse on my skin. She gave a strange look but said nothing. I led her wordlessly outside.

“Our car is parked back here,” I told her quietly, looking away so she wouldn’t see my fangs.

She started getting scared and tried to pull away.

“You know what? I can’t leave my car here. I’m sorry young man.”

I didn’t let her leave.

“I’ll drive it back for you,” offered Rafael, but he didn’t compel her this time. She pulled harder,

“Let go of me!” I pulled her to the area by the dumpsters. It smelled wretched, but I didn’t care. Her adrenaline was too strong for any coherent thoughts.

“HE--” my hand covered her mouth and I bit down, aiming for the spot rafael had directed last night. Moans filled the air and I lost any attention to my surroundings.

When I finished, I sank to the ground, my light headed and my vision spinning. Rafael sure was good at compelling.

“How… How long have you been… doing this?”

“That, my friend, is none of your business.”

“What do you... do with the body?”

“I feed it to werewolves.”

That was one way to get rid of a body. Now for the most important question.

“How do you turn someone?”

“If I was to tell you, I am certain you would turn your friend. I told you you cannot do that yet.”

I fell silent.