As I lay there, on a roof that wasn’t mine, underneath the stars, that bring me company, all I could think of, was how sweet bliss I wish I could endure. But I couldn’t escape the glare of the moon, the ecstasy she brought forth. Made me want to arch my back, and get closer to her. Fingers start to slide down, one by one they slip in, and the Soul feels like it's on Fire. All the sudden you’re split in two, and while the hands still wander, the breathing picks up. You look to the side, trying to devoid the glare that's facing you. Could it be a shame, that's making you look away? Or utter pleasure in guilt? I may hold a shaky breath, you could take my breath away, but I refuse. I can’t help it, I light up a cigarette. You’re not there. My soul goes back inside, and it’s like all this time, it was just Me. Those curves that were being caressed, those lips that were barely brushed. The feeling, of wanting more. Oh, to be held back, utter agony. So you pull back the hand, but you trace it along your body. Might as well, right? The longing of another being, is too great. Yet the soul lingers, turn to your side, you’re alone again. So you close your eyes, and watch how your cigarette dies out. The small stream of smoke, waving about, like a bloody gypsy, doing her dance, just to seduce you. But she’s not there, though she’s beckoning you. I gaze back at the stars, we’re all surrounded by women really, that much can’t be helped. And each time you crave for it more and more. You put out the cigarette, kill it, before it does you in. As I get up, I get the feeling you’ll be waiting for me, that you’ll be looking at me, with the look, you only have for me. It’s somewhat morose, not melancholic, but yearning. And those eyes, they reek of passion, that they light me up, You barely touch, it’s as if it was just in the mind, and that drives me insane. But alas, I’ve lost my mind, or is it a guilty conscience? Breath In, Breath Out...
These are a small collection of poems, short stories, or what could have been novels, that I have written since '06. & now after more a decade, I've decided to share them all with you. Looking back, some stuff will be cringy to read lol...it's all an emotional rollercoaster, but hopefully you'll have fun with it, like I have, but in the meant time, enjoy my awkward queer weird self, as I go thru my journey of just plain awkwardness, & learning to heal, letting go, & moving forward, with life.
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