Swimming with everyone has been such a great time, I haven’t felt so much happiness in quite a while and it was such a relief. Ari seemed like he was a really happy like he didn’t seem to be holding back from anything and I loved it so much.

I really do wish him and I could be like that all the time I mean look at how compatible we are together, we just really need to make something happen. Okay maybe we don’t need to but I really want to.

Ari was sitting by himself and smoking his cigarette while Jacely was talking to us about the rest of the day. I didn’t really care to listen to what she was saying because I kept looking at Ari, I know I look at him way too much sometimes but I can’t help myself I am that attracted to him.

“Is that cool with you Ash?” Jacely said to me, causing me to jump a little.

“Uh. Yeah. What?” I was so lost I couldn’t even play it off.

“I knew you weren’t listening to me!” I couldn’t even pretend to act like I was not not listening to anything that came out of her mouth.

“Listen I was day dreaming, I didn’t know you were talking to me, I thought you were just speaking out loud to the group.” This is not a lie, I did not know that she was even remotely speaking to me

“Imma beat your ass. Anyways, what I was saying was I wanted to see what everyone wanted to do tonight regardless of what it is. We can all go do our own thing or hang out together it doesn’t matter.” I mean if I’m gonna be honest I would much rather have alone time with Ari without a doubt.

Not that I don’t wanna be around the rest of them but alone time with him sounds like heaven to me. We don’t even have to have sex I’d be cool with just being there next to him.

“I’ll talk to Ari and see what he would like to do, since I am his guest.” Lydia rolled her eyes at my words and huffed. I am beginning to see why Ari really doesn’t like her.

“Don’t let him control you Ash! You can make your own decisions by yourself, you don't need to go to Ari every time you want to do something.” What the hell is she even talking about?

“That’s not the point Lydia. It’s not about him controlling me because he isn’t, it’s more about being respectful because I came here with him and I’d like to spend time with him.

"That is my choice, so yes I am going to ask him what he would like to do. I'm sorry that I'm not jumping on the wagon with you on this.” I was very blunt with her but I didn’t care.

I could here snickering behind us and little do you know, it was Ari laughing at what I said to her. I love his laugh and more importantly I love making him laugh.

“Well you and Ari can go do your own thing and then we will all go do ours. I'm sure it would be less drama anyways.” Lydia said before getting out of the water. I don’t know who pissed in her cereal this morning but she is being really hateful.

“Don’t mind her Ash, you do what you wanna do and we will go from there. Don’t let her phase you.” Jacely shouldn’t have to apologize for Lydia and her mouth at all.

“I won’t. I’m gonna go talk to to Ari.” I said to them before finally getting out of the water.

I walked over to where my things are and grabbed my towel to start drying off. I sat on the beach chair that was next to Ari and laid down on it.

“Thank you Ashton.”

“For what?” I said as I looked over at him.

“Well for one this nice sight of you in front of me. But for saying that shit to Lydia, she always tries to get in the middle of things when it is none of her business. She acts like she is right about everything but she has no idea how worst she makes things for people.” Ari was being so serious when he said that to me, I wonder...

“Is that what happened yesterday Ari?” He looked at me and sighed.

“Yeah, I told you a bit. But she just...she doesn’t get it. I went through some shit Ashton and I’m not ready to talk about it, she knows bits and pieces of what happened but not to the full extent and so because she knows literally a sliver if I do something that seems wrong to her she throws it in my face.

“Jacely deserves so much more than her. Like Lydia wants to be an adult entertainer which is completely fine and it’s her life but Jacely is so against it and doesn’t want her to do it but she just doesn’t care. I don’t know, I just really appreciated someone speaking up to her that isn’t me.”

Everyone always thinks Ari is being hateful or lame in a sense but they just don’t understand him and his issues. I don’t understand them either but I would love to know more when he was finally ready to tell me.

In a way it seems like Ari gets bullied for the things that has happened, he can’t help who he is anymore he can’t help that whatever happened to him completely changed the way he is.

I wish I could have known him before whatever it was happened to him. I bet he was so loving towards people.

“Well for one you aren’t controlling me, I don’t like that word at all and I wouldn’t let anyone do that to me. That’s not how any type of relationship works. I want to be with you and spend time with you even if it means it’s just you and I.” I meant every word I said to him.

He looked forward for a moment before looking back at me. It was like he was reading me and trying to figure out what to say back to me.

“Let’s go somewhere tonight, just you and I. We can go to the woods, take a blanket or two and just be together. Let’s get away from them.” My heart.

This is everything I want from him. I don’t ask for much and this is why.

I couldn’t contain my excitement at all from him, I was so happy with what he just said that I was becoming a teenager all over again.

“Yes! Ari that sounds like so much fun!” He laughed at me as he moved the hair out of his eyes.

“It’s no big deal Ashton.” To me it is.

It is such a big deal because this is all that I want, those are the words that I want to hear come out of his mouth. I couldn’t help but to smile at him he doesn’t realize how happy this truly does make me.

I was smiling so much that it started to make him snow just as hard at me. This was something that I could really get used to.

After we all got done swimming everyone went home and got ready for whatever it was that they were gonna do. Ari and I grabbed a backpack and put two hoodies in there just in case it got cold later on us.

I actually was planning on snuggling him soo I won’t be needing that however he did insist that I take it and I couldn’t possibly say no to him.

“We’ll back later Jace, we are gonna go for a walk.” That was all Ari said out loud to everyone. Or to whoever was listening.

He didn’t wait for a response from any of them we just left them in hopes that they heard him.

“Follow me.” Well I wasn’t going to say no, I didn’t know where we were going or what he had in mind for us I just knew that I was going with him.

We walked for about twenty or so minutes before we reached the spot he wanted to be at, he sat his backpack down and walked to the edge. This is where we were when he broke down to me.

I sat down the blankets and walked to where he was. I didn’t get to see how beautiful this was because I was focused on him the other, it was amazing what was in front of me. Over the ledge there were nothing but trees and a river that ran right through them.

It was so peaceful the only noises were from the animals that were scattered all throughout the trees. I’m so glad I could be here with him.

“I thought this place was amazing yesterday, we didn’t end on a good note here and I wanted to change that. I didn’t want us to remember this spot as the one where I lost it.” He wanted me to have a good memory of this place.

He didn’t want me to think of this place negatively. I can see why, it’s so beautiful I can’t believe it.

“I didn’t even realize how beautiful it was..” I whispered to him.

I felt his hand on my arm and then he pulled me to grab the other. I was standing in front of him wide eyed and all.

“When you think of me this is what I want you to see, a peaceful forest with no one to bother me. Only you by my side. I don’t want you thinking of me as a guy with issues or a guy who doesn’t want to love. That’s not who I want to be or what I want to be known as.” I’m speechless and I’m happy.

I loved what was coming out of his mouth.

“I have never seen you as that Ari, I understand you have baggage and that’s okay. But I’ve never looked at you in a negative way. I’ve always seen you as this very confident, beautiful man. I haven’t stopped seeing you like that even when you did have a moment.” Ari smiled at me and put one hand on my cheek.

I wanted to kiss him again I wanted to feel his lips so badly but I wasn’t going to cause him to have a panic attack again. I couldn’t do that to him again. I refused to do that to him.

He got closer to me to the point that we were only a foot or so away from each other. With his other hand he tangled it in my hair and then pulled my head back.

Ari was forceful but he didn’t hurt me. He put his lips on my neck and lightly kissed it.

It wasn’t my lips but it was going to have to do and I was very pleased with it. He pulled away and gave me a soft smile.

“Let’s sit down.” I nodded at him and walked over to our blankets to set them up.

Ari and I talked for hours it seemed like, he was asking me questions as to why I moved here and all that. I learned a little about too but not as much as I wanted to know.

He seemed so free in the moment like no one could hurt or attack him. It was like he didn’t have to watch what he said he could say and do what he wanted without someone being offended.

This was the side that I wanted to see more not the guarded Ari.

“Come here.” He said as he pulled me down with him to lay with him. He pulled me close as he wrapped an arm around me to hold me.

I put my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. This was a dream this couldn’t be really happening to me right now.

We sat in silence as we looked up at the sky together, it honestly could not have been a more perfect night for us.

This moment was perfect, everything was so perfect and I didn’t want to give this up for anything. I want him, I want to love him.

I want to make him feel like he is on top of the world and feel complete happiness. He was so perfect in my eyes and this just proved it even more to me that he was.

I never wanted to leave this I just wanted to stay like this with him for as long as I could, just us on this blanket underneath the stars and leaving the entire world behind us.

To me, this was just the beginning to what was to come.