I tried to enter tip toeing into the apartment without making any noises. It was quite late and I didn't want to wake my father up. "God please save me! He shouldn't be drunk tonight" I prayed for the hundredth time!

If he found me right now without thinking back and forth he would throw me out again for sure. As soon as I stepped into the apartment my eyes landed on the sofa. The TV was open and He was there sitting on the sofa. He was blankly staring at the TV screen. I guess he sensed of being watched so he turned around and in that moment I froze.

My throat went dry in fear. I felt numb!

"You look like you're a hobo." He made a remark in a spiteful voice. I bend my head towards the floor and I'm not able to say anything.

I was totally drenched so I was feeling cold. There was a nice warm smell from the kitchen. It was the same warmth that reminded me of the past, when we all were a family. My dad perhaps had cooked while I was out. Without uttering a single word I started walking toward the kitchen. Having seen the look on my father's eyes I stopped.

"Have I told you that you can eat?" He asks me while I shake my head telling him in that way that he didn't. "Eat when I'm not around. You should kiss my feet's that I'm still feeding you piece of shit." He started yelling at me and with an intention to throw the bottle of beer which he had in his hand towards me but he stopped seeing a picture behind me...

After few minutes he stood up and went to his room. Its ok I wasn't hungry anyway. The dreams I had lately and encounter with Ivan made me lose my appetite. I didn't need food. I had some my cupcakes in my room, hidden. I was just grateful he was sober, that's it.

After entering in my dull room I stripped from my wet cloths and jumped in bed looking at the ceiling. I was too tired for anything, even to eat or to shower. There was only me, the darkness of the night and my thoughts.

I slowly drifted into sleep, feeling the warmth of my room upon my stripped skin and scrawny body, which I hate for it's ugliness. I was feeling useless. May be I'm really a burden for

my father.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore."

I hear a shout and jolted up from my bed shuddering. I look through the dark empty room. I dreamed again something but I can't remember anything, besides the yelling. Someone told me something nearly on a crying voice. But I can't remember. Beads of sweat covered up my forehead, my body was trembling vigorously.

I pulled up the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around me trying to fall asleep again. There's only one thing In my mind. I had only the image of Ivan Who left me there, on the beach. Three years ago that day he also left me when the truth got revealed. Why he always left me...

My time stopped not long after that time, sinking slowly into the darkness. I squeeze my eyes and trying not to think about how painful it is!

Now I have Blake and the other guys. Yes, they like me, the way I'm. But who I'm? Sometimes I felt like I'm unfamiliar to present Theo! I'm just a liar, a deceiver who is shared now...

I look at my phone. It was barely two in the morning, I slept like two hours. Standing up with the blanket over my shoulders I walked toward a corner of my room, where I had a mini fridge. I took out ten cupcakes and started eating them fast in shaking hands.

Yes, I need them to...

The night always passes slowly, in silence and darkness. It's like an untold mystery which makes me shiver bringing back those memories and thoughts of past three years. I want to bury them forever in a sealed box. I want to be numb to everything. I hate the sweet taste in my mouth. They have a horrible taste but it's the only thing which makes me happy.

I lean my head on the edge of my bed and opened my IPod to listen some music until the first rays of sun appeared into the sky. I'm scared to close my eyes again lest I got those bad dreams. The sun slowly started to rise up announcing the beginning of a new week.

"Theo?" I hear Blake's voice." You look awful" I smile. It was so perfect to starting a new week. I've not seen Him.

"Just didn't sleep well" I told him biting my lip.

"You're lying, that too me! Theo?" He said with concern. I was trying to get my books for the first period without looking into his deep green eyes.

His eyes always captivated me into a ravishing spell!

"No." I said shyly. In the corner of my eyes I see Ivan passing by. He was smiling and talking with some kids about some random stuff. Then he caught me glancing at him. He just vanished in a swift motion after winking at me.

Huh? What just happened!

"Dudes!" Eugene shouted while waving at us. I smiled at him but then my smile died! Behind him there was Tyler, smiling and talking with Katya, that b...

"What you're thinking, you look so... concentrated?" Suddenly h Blake's voice interrupts my train of thoughts. He smiled at me and that dimple on his left cheek just above his luscious lips suddenly made me blush hardly thinking how sexy he looked. "Theo!" He continue shaking me in a joking way and laughing, making the dimple deep. Oh lord!

"Oh!" I only let out like an idiot without saying anything good.

"Oh!" Then I hear Tyler. "Sorry but the sound you made was too funny to keep my mouth shut." I glared at him. "What?" He said gesturing.

"Shut up, Ty!" Blake slapped his shoulder soft and lean by a locker with his back facing Katya. She had dressed like a slut. But I must admit she was hot but not hotter than myy boy.

Wait! What?

Oh not again! I'm acting like a stupid pervert. I was standing there looking at Tyler like a hawk!

"Beside some sounds and nods what little Theo can do?" Tyler said looking at his phone and smiling. His eyes were shining. Guess I was wrong or maybe I was dreaming about yesterday. Here is back the Tyler with attitude, rudeness, and cockiness. Yesterday maybe he was...drunk or so.

"Tyler!" I startled and turn toward Blake. He was gripping his hand and had an angry look in his eyes. He looked at him and rolled his eyes.

"Yes?" He said having an arrogant look in his eyes. "Did I say something that might not be true?"

Blake still had the same look but I could feel the tension between them in the air. He opened his mouth to say something but the bell rang announcing the start of the first period. I closed my locker and waved to them. The group of boys walks in the opposite direction, talking and laughing on something Eugene said. I saw them until they turned the corridor and left my sight.

Hmm... I guess I would never be able to mingle with them; maybe I'll remain the outcast!

Putting aside my contemplations I start to walk toward my class and I feel a touch on my shoulder. I shudder thinking it might be Ivan. I really didn't need a scene from him at this hour after he let me there all alone to get lost. But to my surprise when I turn I see Tyler instead. I try to say something but like usual I can't find my words and just stared at him like an idiot. Today he was wearing a black beanie covering his hair.

"I...didn't mean to sound so harsh." He said and made me drop my jaw. He was apologizing! Now? Tyler is apologizing scratch that Tyler is apologizing that to me! I'm sure he is sick! Or else...

"I'm glad you don't reek at alcohol today." He interrupted my thoughts. No! I think you're drunk today!

He patted my shoulder then ran away to catch the rest of the group. I started walking dazed towards my math class, feeling suddenly too crave for my cupcakes.

The next periods passed slowly. Barely seeing the boys but bumping in that evil Ivan each time. Same wink and smirk! Oh gosh, what he's up to today?

I know he was planning something and I'm scared. I cursed myself that I let my guard down yesterday. I should have known better of him.

He broke me once, he will try to break me once again, and I have no power left in me to fight back. I'm exhausted. Today I'll go to my Brother place, I need Him. I miss my Brother so much.

The lunch break came I was barely dragging my feet towards the cafeteria. The last few days had been hell. I look around and spotted our usual table but there was nobody. Strange!

I feel a push and turn around hearing a huff in my ear. "THEO!" Eugene screamed and jumped like he was high. "Lunch time!" He dragged me from his hand toward our table and sitting down he started eating. I barely sat down and he's lunch was done. He can really eat no joke there.

"Where is your yummy lunch?" He asked me while he was licking his fingers, greedy! I was looking around for Blake and Tyler.

"I... ate." I lied not feeling hungry at all. "When you did?" I heard him asking me. We started to stare at each other and I only said: cupcakes.

"You'll get sick if you only eat sweets, Theo." I look up and near me was Blake again with that concern frown on his face.

"Cupcake addict." Tyler comes as well as holding his lunch and sits across me without noticing anyone.