They didn’t need to look for long. They found a bench on a nice, peaceful grassy area down the street. There were few flowerbeds with wilted flowers on them, and a big tree sheltering the bench. Sarah brushed off fallen leaves from the bench and they sat down. The tea had cooled down while they walked, so it was drinkable when Sarah sipped it.

“What was in the poster you read?” Sarah asked.

“It was an announcement for a band contest. Hector thought I’d want to participate.”

“You’re in a band?”

“Yeah. With Leon. He sings and I play the guitar.”

“That’s so cool. I can’t play anything.” She sighed a bit. She would’ve loved to play an instrument, but she was basically tone deaf. “Are you gonna participate in it?”

“I need to ask what Leon thinks. But I’d like to try it out. I think it’d be good practice for the future.”

“Oh, do you want to be a musician?”

Castiel nodded. “Yeah. I’ve always liked music and I want to pursue it as a career.”

“That’s great. Are you planning on studying music too or?”

Sarah took out the small bar of chocolate from her bag and broke it to pieces. She took one and offered a piece to Castiel. He looked surprised but took it. Their fingers brushed against each other, and Sarah almost jumped from her seat.

“Thanks. And probably. I’m gonna apply at least and see what happens. I know I have a lot to learn and I want to improve.”

“You’d have to move for that right? They don’t teach music here.”

“Yeah but it’s not an issue. I don’t have anything to keep me here.”

“What about Ares?”

“I can take him with me.”

“You have things well planned out then.”

“Well, I’ve known what I want for a long time.”

Sarah was unhappy with herself. She should’ve had things better under control, but her plans were just as clear as they had been four months ago. Today’s meeting had woken her up to the harsh reality that she had little over two months to think what she wanted to do with her life. It was stressful.

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Do you know what you want to do?”

“Oh. No, not at all,” Sarah laughed joylessly. “I have absolutely no idea. I don’t have anything I feel passionate about and would want to work with more.” She sighed again and sipped her tea which was starting to get cold.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I hope so. I’m starting to run out of time.”

Silence settled between them and Sarah stared at her reflection on the tea little tea left in the cup. Now that they weren’t talking, she started to get more nervous in Castiel’s presence. They sat close to each other but not close enough to touch. Sarah fidgeted and cast careful glances at Castiel. He was drinking his coffee and watching the passing cars. One car slowed down slightly as it drove past. Sarah took a deep breath. It’d probably be better to stay quiet, but she needed to know. She didn’t want to be constantly nervous around Castiel and she hoped this would help. The other option was that she’d feel even more awkward.

“Umm…” Sarah regretted opening her mouth immediately, but it was too late now. Castiel already turned his attention to her. “About yesterday…” Sarah’s eyes met Castiel’s for a brief moment before she looked away.

“What about it?”

“Well, yesterday, before your parents came…And you…close…and then…” Sarah couldn’t form coherent sentences but Castiel understood still. His cheeks turned several shades darker and he turned his head away.

“O-oh that… I… I was just joking.”

“Oh. Yeah of course.” She laughed a bit. She wasn’t any less nervous, but she was relieved that she had asked. She had gathered her courage and done something. It felt like a victory even though the answer didn’t make her happy. She didn’t understand well how she felt. Her throat felt tight but at the same time she felt relieved.

Castiel glimpsed at Sarah. His chest was heavy. He hadn’t expected the question and had said the first thing that came to mind. And he was fairly sure it had been just a joke. It had all happened quickly, and he hadn’t thought about it. After coming from the bathroom, he had seen Sarah looking at the pictures and got the idea to tease her a bit and startle her. But when Sarah had turned around and they were closer than he had expected, his heart had started beating all weird and he felt hot. Before he had realised, his hands were already on her hips. He hadn’t planned it, but it had happened. He didn’t know what would’ve happened if his mum didn’t arrive and it scared Castiel a bit. These feelings were confusing.

“Sarah…” Castiel started but was interrupted by ringing phone.

“Sorry,” Sarah said and dug the phone from her bag. When she saw the name on the screen, she smiled brightly. “Hi,” she answered the phone. Castiel turned his head to other direction. He didn’t want to eavesdrop, but the phone was loud enough for him to hear the other person.

“Hi, honey. How are you?” said a manly voice. Castiel glanced at Sarah.

“I’m good. I’m outside having a walk. How are you?”

“Good too. And even better now that I can talk with my sweetie.” Castiel strained his hearing to catch all the words.

“It’s nice to talk with you too. Why did you call?”

“Can’t I call to you just because I want to?”

“Of course, but I was wondering if there was a reason…”

“Haha, there actually is. I wanted to ask when you’re coming to see me? It’s been a while since the last time and I really miss you.”

“I have time whenever.” Sarah beamed when she talked. She hadn’t looked this happy once during the day. Castiel felt guilty about listening to the call but he couldn’t help himself. “How about this weekend?”

“It should work. But I need to go, sorry.”

“Alright. I can call to you later.”

“Great. I love you. Bye”

“Bye. I love you too.”

The smile on Sarah’s face didn’t fade even after putting the phone away. Castiel on the other hand was mildly irritated, although he didn’t know why.

“Who was it? Boyfriend?” he asked and was surprised by the sharp tone of his voice. Why did he even ask?

“No, no. It was dad.”

“Ah, okay. Sorry.” Irritation eased slightly. Why did he think about boyfriend first instead of her dad?

“No need to apologise for asking.”

“You seem to get along even though your parents are divorced?”

“Yeah. They don’t talk with each other unless it’s necessary, but dad’s actively in touch with me. He lives in another city, so it’s always bit of a hassle to meet up, but I try to see him at least once a month. But now there’s been bit of a break.”

“Does your sister come with you as well?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“Well, he’s not her dad and she’s kind of the reason he and my mum broke up, so…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. My mum and dad always had a stormy relationship. My mum is strong-willed and independent and dad’s stubborn but calmer, so they argued a lot and even about the trivial things like forgetting to take the trash out. One night they had a bigger fight than normally. Mum left to a bar to calm her thoughts and met some guy there and they hooked up. Dad found out of course but he was going to let it slide until he found out mum was expecting Steffie. He got super pissed and decided to leave. I guess he felt really betrayed. And I don’t blame him. I was angry at mum too, even though I was nine or ten and didn’t understand all that was going on, but I hated when they argued, and they did at all the time. So, their divorce was a relief. I think they’re both a lot happier now, and they can be in the same room without shouting at each other. But I feel bad for Steffie. She doesn’t know her real dad basically at all. He didn’t want to take responsibility then and now he’s married and doesn’t want to remember his past mess ups. So, she doesn’t really have a dad. My dad doesn’t hate her, but I can see he feels uncomfortable around her.” Sarah was silent for a moment. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to open up like that.”

“No problem. Sometimes it’s good to talk. Your family situation sounds pretty complicated.”

“Yeah, I guess. But it’s not that bad. Not anymore at least.” Sarah smiled a bit. She felt lighter, like talking had moved some weight from her. Weight she didn’t know had existed.

“Well that’s good. I’m sure things will get sorted out eventually.”

“Yeah. Thanks,” Sarah said and smiled. The smile was happy and warm and mirrored on Castiel’s face too. The air around them was calm and relaxed. And then Sarah’s phone rang again.

“Oh my god, what is it now,” she muttered. “Mum… Yes?” she picked up the call.

“Where are you?” Mum’s annoyed voice blasted through the speakers. Sarah moved the phone from her ear.

“On a walk.”

“You promised to help me with the comic today. I’ve been waiting for an hour.”

“I forgot! I’m sorry. I’ll come right away.”

“You’d better. I need the extra hand.”

Sarah sighed when she closed the phone. A long and tedious afternoon would await her.

“I’m sorry but I have to go. I promised to help mum with her work,” Sarah said to Castiel as she packed her stuff. She slipped another piece of chocolate in her mouth to give extra strength and threw the teacup to a nearby bin. “I hope you don’t have to suffer too much with your parents,” she added and grabbed the handle of the baby carriage.

“Bye.” Then Sarah jogged off, leaving Castiel to sit on the bench. He sighed. Being outside alone was boring, so he might as well go home. If he walked slowly enough, he could be home around the time he had planned to.

Sarah hurried towards her home, Tim rattling in his carriage. She felt better than in the morning. Talking casually with Castiel had helped with her nervousness and she was hopeful the feeling would stay. It would be nice if they could talk without sweatiness and tingling feeling in the stomach. But there was a small voice in her head that wasn’t happy. Castiel had been joking, making fun of her with his act. She felt slightly disappointed and didn’t like it. Most girls liked to get positive attention from a handsome guy, and Sarah did too. It was flattering and exciting. She hadn’t let herself imagine anything but hearing that it had all been a joke hurt a little.

Sarah arrived home and grabbed Tim from the carriage, rushing inside. She kicked her shoes off quickly and wiggled out of her coat while holding Tim.

“I’m home! Sorry that I forgot!” she yelled from the door. “I’ll go put Tim away and I’ll be right there!”

She walked past her mum’s office. Mum was sitting in front of her computer with a huge mug of coffee in hand. On another table Sarah’s workstation, a laptop, was waiting for her to come. In her room Sarah stuck the water bottle in Tim’s mouth to give him a drink and to keep him quiet for a while. Then she tucked the doll in bed and jogged to her mum’s office.

“I need you to start proofreading the pages,” mum said and sipped her coffee. “All hundred and fifty need to be ready to go tonight. I’ve already read the first twenty pages, so I’ll continue from that. You start from chapter six.”

“Okay. Sorry again that I was late. I completely forgot I promised to help you.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just finish this so we can have some pizza and ice cream.”

Sarah nodded and smiled. Pizza and ice cream would be worth all the reading and nit-picking they were about to go through.

Focusing on the comic took Sarah’s mind off Castiel and school and it wasn’t a bad job to do either. She had to keep reminding herself to focus on checking the text for possible issues because she got sucked in the story easily. Sarah was always amazed at how great her mum’s art looked. Even as a black and white comic, the pages had so many shades that it didn’t even need colour. She hoped she’d learn to draw like that too. It’d be an amazing talent to have even if she didn’t make a career out of it. Maybe she’d ask advice from mum for her school plans. She must’ve struggled with the same thing when she was young. But not now. If they started talking now, they’d never finish the job and there wouldn’t be ice cream. Sarah sighed and rubbed her eyes. Eighty pages to go.