Between the coffee steams, the glass seemed to fade in a pall, the clearness become defiled. Outside the people like ants,ran around to get shelter from the rain which hit them, like wimps, as the gusts of wind reaped their frail bodies.
The view was blurred and became like a void how my world was. Tainted and filled with obscurity, like was this afternoon, as the layers of darkness felt upon the city.
I walked toward the window and let the mug near it and glance at it how my face is now hidden under the steam. On the table near was my phone, still opened with a message from Yves; a thing which made my shoulder to itch me. Slowly I scrap it, wanting to rip the flesh and pull out that bitch from me.
"I'll bring dinner; tasty, juicy and extra, something sweet."
He always wrote the same thing, but the taste of the food in my mouth was foul and bitter.
Sighting and staring at the door I knew was the time to show my face a bit around. I wiped the window letting its clearness invade my apartment, as in a rush I pull out the black drapes, to conceal me from the world.
I know somewhere, the darkness lurks, to finish what was started sixteen years ago. I dream it even now, the smear that corrupted my body. I dream the creature, but I can't see it. I feel it whispering to me; to kill and feed, it demanded blood.
"I'm always hungry, Binko," I whispered, as I crouch near the loveseat and pulled in my arms a sleepy black cat with white tips on her ears and tail. Binko started to purrs and made me giggle. "Good boy," I said to him, as I place him on the chair, while I felt a vile sensation, erupting through all my body.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. "We're coming." A message, from my mother.
Twenty minutes later and a bottle of beer I was now facing a concern mother and my little brother, smirking behind her. His eyes were filled with despise, as I the bad brother and son, made their family name of shame.
My sin was, being gay and refusing socializing.
I smiles as my mother, Katherine, stared at me with her brown eyes, looking tired as dark rings under her eyes were slightly visible even if she put a lot of makeup. Her hair was nicely combed and caught in a bum as she placed her red hat on the table, scanning the room, like always.
"Nat..." her voice broke the silence as I avert my eyes toward Binko and started to caress his soft fur, smiling. "How you been?" Same question like always. Her tone was visible shaking.
"I been good, Katherine," I replied, not watching her.
"I'm happy..." She trailed off.
We're nothing but strangers now, fourteen years since I let her touch me. The same goes for my brother, afraid to feel their thoughts. I let out a sigh watching the clock, my cartoons were about to start and I just wanted to be let alone.
I was too dangerous to have a human being around me.
"You should eat more, dear."
Katherine told me, while I just nod, following my brother how he walked slowly back and forth as a hour hand move on a clock, feeling suffocated to be in the same room with me.
My mother stood and walked toward the kitchen carrying some bags, I presume was more food. Food which would rot. I bit my bottom lip as my brother approached me and started to poke my chest.
"Useless and worthless son, good for nothing living on the back of his parents."
He whispered, as he hovered above me, leaning with his both hands now by the sofa. I could feel his breath upon my skin and made me shudder, recalling Jack's scent.
Languidly, I dropped my head, but not before meeting his blue eyes. Were like a frozen lake in late winter, cold and cloudy, same eyes like our father has them, cruel. Clenching my fist, I grip from my jeans, as I bit hard my cheek until I bleed.
Pain was the single thing that made me control my anger which now was increasing inside. "Kill." I heard in my head over and over "feed and suck him dry." Echoes like bells, while my heart was pounding heavy in my chest, while the ticking of the clock resonated with my whispers from my head.
Inside the mouth the flesh was heavy torn from my sharp teeth's which started to shift in small daggers. I only smiled; the feeling of how the room darkened in the stormy twilight, was engulfing everything. Hungry; for the night to come and creatures to come out.
"Twenty eight and you didn't done nothing with your life, not even to get your virginity taken, or maybe you did, who knows what you do in this apartment, filthy as..." He continues to spat at me as a snarls escapes my lips only to be sealed by a thunder, I do not hear his voice anymore, just fragments. "No wonder father chooses me as his heir."
Hearing the last part my heart throbbed. Emilian griped hard from my shoulder making me yelp as a stand of blood mixed with saliva falls down my chin, making him grimacing. The wound never healed, was just to conceal the putrefaction that growed inside.
"I bit my tongue, little brother..." I told him flatly, while trying to stand up and go further from him. I lour as I watch the clock. Yves should arrive in any minute and is too late for a walk now. The night was not my ally. I tiltle my head toward the kitchen; when I heard my mother voice cutting Emilian even before opening his mouth.
"Boys, are you finished talking?" I nod and my brother scoffs muttering something under his breath. "Is time to leave. " She said watching outside as she opened the window letting the cold breeze penetrating the room. "How can you live in this place Nathaniel, is so awful ..."
"Mom," I cut her off slightly annoyed as my brother words still lingered in my mind. I open my mouth to say something but what really wanted to shout to both was to shut the fuck up and to get out, but wasn't me which had this urge.
She let a sight, and walked toward the small wood table and pick her hat and turned to me. She made few steps trying to give me a hug but I stepped back fast holding my hands up, telling herby my gesture no.
She let another sight and smiled sad. "I want my Natty back! where you hide that boy that was so full of life?"
I didn't said anything, just let my head down hearing the door closing.
My heart ached. That boy died in that forest.
The breeze caressed my face as few drops of rain felt on my face as I approached the open window. The buildings felt like will crumble anytime, while a bolt of lightning grazed the sky. It resembled a hand ready to squeeze the life of me.
A ticklish sensation took over my body as on my hand a spider started to climb. His legs were long and thin as his body brown and long. I lifted my hand and stared at him as I licked my chopped lips while blood started to ooze out from the corners of my mouth.
"Mother, this is the man I became, secluded for a reason..."
With this last thought I closed the window with a loud noise, as fast pulled the covers before I could see the real color from my eyes in the window reflection, letting the room being bathed in darkness. I could see the spider clearly, stopping on my wrist, like felt the danger that lurked, a greater predator.
My lips twitched and with one swipe of my tongue I put it in my mouth, swallowing it alive...
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