I couldn't remember how much time had passed since I dropped my phone. I couldn't stand hearing his slurred, drunken voice. The hall was as silent as a mime. Classes must've already been started. My body was shaking uncontrollably and I was feeling feeble . I didn't want to go out anymore. "Why is he here?" I mumbled. Throughout my whole life I was trying to run away from him and now he is here! Sometimes I wonder how cruel fate can act towards me. I'm tired of running away.

Only after a few minutes I was able to stand. I pushed myself up from the wall with all my power and then walked towards the sink; I splashed some water on my face and looked up. I saw the reflection of a pale boy with bags under his bloodshot red eyes. He used to be a naive boy Emil, but now he's a Doppelganger!

"You need to calm down Theo," I told myself "Maybe he won't say anything about..." I stopped I don't even want to think what would be the outcome if everyone came to know about the reality.

The past flashed back in my mind. Every single incident of those past three years made me cry but my tears had dried out. I wanted to forget the past but it still beat inside me like a second heart. The walls which I have built to protect my fragile soul had started to crumble just with a single encounter with him after three long years.

"Who is the real me?" I asked my reflection without receiving anything back. I knew who I was, just a liar and a deceiver. My hands started to shake and I closed my eyes. I couldn't look at them anymore. I was a sinner; I didin't deserved to have friends.

"Shut up," I screamed suddenly. I fell to my knees putting my hands over my head trying to shut down my line of thoughts. I needed to forget everything, my heart ached. I know what I've to do I have to hide away but for how long? I stood up dizzily, and left the bathroom.

I knew exactly where I was going, but I walked so much that my feet ached with pain. I opened the door, and saw the small room; it's been empty for years. It's a room I know too well. I'll hide here.

I stayed in it daily, hiding from everyone, only me in my shell, protected, until I see my friends again. I entered the room and sat down. Eventually I curled into a ball while I felt the cold floor against my skin. This room was my sanctuary. I laid there for a while until my eyes began to get heavy and once I closed them I fell into a deep sleep.

✮

"Theo?" I heard my brother's voice. "Look at me."

"I have homework, big brother." I lied to him. I had to; I wouldn't let him see me covered with blood and bruises. Another day meant another round. Everyday my school life became hell.

"I'll be in your room after, completing my homework, " I said, running away to my room.

I was smaller than all my classmates and skinny. My sin was that I was too shy; I could never say a proper sentence in front of someone without blushing and stammering. I am always alone, looking at how everyone talked about games, movies and the new trend.

Nobody notices me. Nobody cared when I was made fun of. I was the friendless freak; I only had one person who I could trust, My brother. He was always right there for me, making me smile. But he also had two faces. He was scary and violent but also warm and protective

"Theo!" The door opened slowly and I see the blond hair of my brother. He was tall and slender, always wearing shirts with long sleeves. "What happened today?" I hear him say. I couldn't move. Under the blanket I only let a sob out. He always could see through my lies what I love and hate at the same time.

He sat next to me and put his warm hand over my head, caressing my hair softly. He leans and kissed my forehead. "Everything will be fine..." He assured.

With his words and warm embrace I was drifting asleep feeling happy that there was someone who did not hate me, but loved me and wanted to protect me.

✮

The moment I open my eyes the cold air caressed my dry skin. It was just a dream. My body felt stiff and my hair and clothes were filled with dust. I was standing alone into the darkness of a dirty room. At that moment I didn't care, a silent tear fell from my eye followed by few more teardrops.

I wiped my eyes and fixed myself. Checking the time; it was near lunch. Slowly I started to walk toward the main area of the school. I looked around and suddenly it became crowded. I heard sounds of people laughing and talking.

I looked around carefully and once I didn't see him I knew he wasn't here. I look around again and spot at our table, Ty. He was just scrolling on his phone. I enter putting on a mask of sunshine, acting like everything was great, and called out for Ty.

"Ty!" I said waving like nothing happened in the past hours and I wasn't messed up. "Where are the rest?" I looked around hoping to find Blake. The only one which could make my day shine but he was nowhere.

Tyler looked at me and droped his gaze again on his phone putting his earphones on and a song started to sing. He didn't say anything. I was still feeling melancholic after my dream and shaking a slight bit but I was good at faking things. In the last years I could say I became a master of deceiving.

"Theo, where you been dude?" I hear Eugene. "I looked for you to tell you something." He looked at me and had an odd expression on his face. He sat near Ty and gave him a push. Ty smacked him over his shoulder and both started to laugh, for a second feeling invisible and forgotten.

I put my chin lazy on my hands and looked at them. Tyler was a cute guy. He had beautiful deep black eyes, his hair was the same as his eye color, but it was thick and messy. He usually was using a beanie to hide his hair but other days he used way too much hair gel, making it spiky.

For a reason I think he hates his messy hair. His skin was slightly tan and a well built body for a seventeen year old. Even better than my sweet Blake, which his abdomen and muscles weren't that well defined. Too bad he had a bad personality.

"At what you're looking like that dazed?" I hear his voice and suddenly I noticed that I forgot to blink.

"Oh! It's nothing," I said raising my head and looking around for Blake.

"He'll come later a bit after." Eugene informs me having the same look. Ty looks at me and shakes his head while rolling his eyes. He whispers something but I couldn't hear. Only Eugene heard.

"Why you're looking at me like that..." I open my mouth to say more but I see Blake and my chest began to feel light and a small strand of happiness invaded my eyes.

Blake was smiling and talking with someone, gesticulating. Near him was Him. The moment my eyes lay on him I froze, feeling my heart slamming hard under my chest.

"Are you okay?" Blake asks me approaching the table. "Theo you're white."

I couldn't hear him, I only saw him; I couldn't move or say anything. I felt numb. I heard a small noise then a sharp sting on my face, it snapped me out of my trance and I looked up. Right in front of me was Ty's face and an irritated look was planted on his face. All the kids stopped talking around us and watched us curiously towards our table.

"What the hell, why did you hit him, Ty?" Blake asked a concerned tone in his voice.

"He was in his wonder world again, and he was pissing me off." He said coldly. "Look he's fine."

"Theo, are you ok?" He asks me again

"Yes... Just a little bit tired and nausea," I lied looking at him the small sting still on my cheek from where I was slapped.

"Of course you're sick." Eugene said. "You ate seven cupcakes, a milkshake and who knows what else from what we saw."

I nodded and smiled shyly. Blake sat near me, a concerned look in his eyes and put his hand over my forehead.

I was paler than usual from what I saw before. After a few minutes he got up and sat near me. Now I was between Blake and him, across Ty and Eugene. Everything was freaking dandy. At this point there were two guys at the table who hated me.

He looked around and gazed at me, a slight smirk on his face. "I'm Ivan Leiv Hal." He said holding out his hand for everyone to shake. Once everyone shook it, Blake spoke.

"I met him in English class and I told him he can join us, being new and all." Blake said while he still hand his hand on my forehead.

He was still glancing at me. I was felt like throwing up. I wanted to run away vanishing from here. "Is this all a bad dream?"I told to myself.

"Theo?" Blake was shaking me. "You're burning up."

"I'm...fine..." I mumbled not be able to take my eyes off him. He resembled to Ty in a way, only his eyes were lighter, and his skin was less muscular and he was shorter.

I feel his hand gripping my leg and I feel like choking. I stood up in a second tripping over my chair. I startled Blake who looked at me surprised and concerned.

Today for sure I was acting odder than usual. Only Ty was not paying attention to anything. Without saying anything I ran outside, hearing Blake shout out my name, "Theo!"

I ran away from the school like a coward I was and ended up on a path that led into a small park. After a few minutes I stopped running and walked through the pine trees for about several minutes in silence leaving everything behind. Whenever I look at the trees, I always find tranquility.

I heard the sound of laughter from a stranger around me but it soon faded away as they walked further following a pebbled path.

I saw a couple leaning against a tree, kissing, and another pair walking, fondling each other. They were the only people around me at this point. I want to be alone and calm myself down. I was terrified.

My body was feeling heavy as well as my eyelids. I wanted to sit down and take a short nap, forgetting my troubles. My stomach was hurting like hell. My mouth was craving for a beer and something sweet.

In the end, I was sitting down on a bench, looking towards the pond which was in the middle of the park; away from the city noise. It was serene. I put my hand upon my stomach trying to stop my body shaking.

I was feeling as cold as ice. Maybe Blake was right, I was feverish. Next time I shouldn't sleep on a cold floor.

Slowly I started to feel worse and scared. I was alone in a place which at this hour only a few people pass and most barely take notice if something was wrong; maybe for them I was just a drug addict, fighting his urge to take his next dose. Suddenly the sunlight was taken away by a shadow.

"You're sure an Idiot." I hear Ty's annoyed voice. I tried to say something but he stopped me. "Running like that was bit rude. Why it always is me who finds you?" He asked me taking out his phone.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked him looking down feeling like any time the light will go off. I felt if I stand up I'll spill my stomach out any moment.

"Last night, you were here as well when you called me at one in the morning babbling annoying things." He said while he helped me stand up. I swear if I didn't know he hated me, he could had been one of the most nicest person I knew.

He was, but only for the people he cared about. Not me though, the outsider, which was taken from the streets by Blake, who pitied me. He barely looked into my eyes when he was speaking to me. He let me sleep in his bed each time, I drank too much.

Not saying anything I stood up but felt suddenly dizzy. The only thing I remember was Ty cursing and me kneeling near him my throat feeling emptied.

"You're an idiot." He pushed me away. I looked down noticing, once again, I vomited on him. But only this time it was his black sneakers.

"Sorry..." I tried to apologize, but my throat was burning painfully. I smelt his sweet smell near me. Today was making me feel nausea. He puts an arm around my shoulder and helps me stand.

"Say sorry later, it's too late anyway!" He whined looking at his shoes irritated. "We're going to my place." He said helping me walk and stand slightly straight. "I could swear I have a déjà vu." He said. I know of what he meant. Last night.

His phone rang and I could hear Blake's upset voice. "Did you find him?" Ty looked at me and lazy he replied by a simple yes.

" Is he ok?"

"He is dandy, beside the vomit on my shoes." Ty continued rolling his eyes.

"What?"

"Chill down, Blake, is just a cupcake overdose." Ty told Blake smiling while he was dragging me to his house. "I'll take him to my house and he'll rest." After a time I couldn't hear his voice only Tyler's talking. The only thing I remember from our short walk was that nobody from his family was home.

Once we entered the house Ty led me to his room and practically shoved me on his bed. "Sleep and don't whine." He told me while he took off his black hoodie and put it near on a chair while he sat on a small sofa. I tried to say something but I was too tired even to open my mouth drifting slowly again, to sleep.

I was afraid to fall asleep. I was always dreaming things from my past lately. I put a blanket over me, to keep warm and before falling asleep I saw Ty looking at me, his eyes were unreadable and dark...

I do not know how much I slept but when I woke up, I heard Blake. He was talking with Ty. I pretended to sleep so I wouldn't disturb them. I was feeling slightly better but my stomach was still upsetting me.

"Ty, Eugene told me what you said today."

"What I said?" Ty curiously asked him. "Refresh my mind."

I heard Blake's soft voice going lower but could still hear what he said. "You're just a drunk bastard." It was nothing new there. I already knew he was thinking that about me.

"Dudes!" Suddenly Eugene jumps random in the conversation. "It is the plan of staying overnight still available?"

"Yes, it is...tonight at my place. Games all night and ... drinks."

Hearing this, my heart pounded. I will be sleeping at the last house, I wanted to be at. I was infatuated. It had been a long time since I stepped into his house. Mostly we crashed on Ty because he was near the school. I opened my eyes and I stare at them.

Eugene was doing another of his funny poses, Ty was looking bored but as well letting out a deadly glare toward Blake, not feeling glad that he was questioned and Blake, he was looking straight into my eyes, while I stared at his blue deep ones, they were mesmerizing my heart said.

"Theo?" He said smiling and putting his hand over my forehead." Sorry if we woke you up."

I tried to standing up as fast as I could letting everyone know I was okay but I felt dizzy and nearly felt in his lap. He blushed while he caught me, holding me in his arms.

"I'm fine," I tell him while hopping he will hold me more in his strong arms but he let me go immediately.