Waking up with Neri beside her was something Arna was quickly and comfortably getting accustomed to, although usually she was in her human form. The last time they had risen with Arna’s face masked by bone and fur they had guarded opposite walls of a crumbling ruin, waiting for each other to make the wrong move.

Arna lifted her head from her paws, twisting her neck to peer down at the sight beside her. The warrior had all but snuggled into her, her fingers deep within the fur and held fast even in her slumber, her face half-buried against her ribs. The saber gently touched the nose of her skull to the woman’s forehead, closing her eyes as she breathed in Neri’s scent, her warmth and aura calming her very soul like a soothing blanket.

However, dawn had come and gone, time nipping at their heels as the frost shifted around them. Taking care not to disturb her, Arna disentangled herself from Neri and stood up, nudging the warrior in place against the tree they had rested below. Her cloak had fallen in a heap across Neri’s legs and Arna gently picked it up between her teeth, dragging it across the woman’s body and tucking it underneath her chin. The saber paused to gaze at the sleeping warrior, tracing the sharp jawline, the bags under her eyes, the slight furrow between her brows, the faint scars and strong muscles beneath the cloak that echoed years of battle and training.

She turned away and listened beyond their steady breathing and heartbeats. The village had long awoken before the sun had even begun to blossom behind the snow-capped mountains, already working to survive another day in the middle of nowhere, always trying to remain just out of reach of raiders, starvation, and disease. For now, no one had left the boundaries of the village and no other people were close by.

She looked back at Neri, the woman still fast asleep with her head fallen to one side against an armoured shoulder. She needs her rest, Arna thought. The warrior had really spread herself thin, worrying and on constant guard. Now that the caravan had been ‘safely’ escorted to their destination, the warrior could try to relax and catch up on sleep for more than just a single night in the cold of a mountain forest.

Once Neri awoke, they could begin their return west. Arna didn’t want to stay here any longer than necessary; this was already too far east than she was comfortable with. She had spent decades actively avoiding ever returning, ensuring the shadows she trod and sulked amongst were long and distant from any sign of her past and the cult. She knew what waited for her here, she knew the cult would never stop hunting her, and she knew that the memories were etched in the very walls of Polenya and the lands beyond.

Arna sighed, stretching out her neck and moving her shoulders to test the feel of it. The wounds had closed, leaving her with a duller pain than that of torn flesh yesterday. She closed her eyes, letting herself search for the other part of her, recalling the sensation of standing upright and feeling the breeze on her skin. She recognized the strangeness that came with the shimmering of her form, the different facets of her being shifting around each other, reordering and rebuilding themselves. That unfathomable part of her, the shadow from the abyss, it rose and enveloped her whole, leaving her in a still moment of nothingness before shrinking back, peeling away for the morning light to touch the changing body beneath.

She stood on two legs now instead of four, rolling her neck again and wincing at the painful tug of healing skin, but the wound had not reopened. The cold air rushed over her naked skin, her body prickling in frozen goosebumps – it was times like this that she missed the thick fur coat of her saber form.

A sharp intake of air broke her thoughts. Snapping open her eyes, she looked before her and met the warrior’s fixed stare.

“You’re awake,” said Arna, trying to cover herself with one arm while with the other she reached for the bag containing her remaining items of clothing that she hadn’t shredded apart.

While Arna’s naked body had been seen by countless eyes over the years spent in the laboratory, typically her only modesty a ragged nightshirt, having Neri’s gaze on her was different. It made the situation all too normal, embarrassing and frightening, uncomfortable and yet allowing her to believe that she wasn’t just a hated demon or an empty test subject anymore.

Pulling out her clothes, Arna heard the woman move and glanced across at her. Arna’s cloak had pooled in Neri’s lap, her eyes roaming across the scars and bony ridges of the shapeshifter’s body, only pausing at her neck. A mix of awe and concern graced her green eyes as Neri got to her feet and reached out a trembling hand, the bandage around her palm stained pink. Cold fingertips touched Arna’s collarbone, making her flinch.

Neri drew back. “I-I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” she replied, watching the warrior’s attention fall once more to the vivid red healing scars rupturing pale skin around the back and side of her neck.

“You were bleeding so much,” Neri whispered, her hand returning to graze against Arna’s throat, too wary to actually touch the wounds. “How…?”

“I’m not human,” Arna reminded her, teeth mildly chattering. “C-can I get dressed now? It’s freezing.”

Neri’s eyes widened and she jerked back, her gaze shooting down to bore a hole into the frost-frozen ground at their feet. “O-of course, I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

Arna pulled on her summer outfit, feeling the cold bite of winter through the thin material. She rubbed her arm in attempt to warm herself up, shuddering as even with the rising sun little heat melted the frozen around and within her.

“Neri,” she called quietly. The warrior still glared downwards with a deep blush dusting pale cheeks. “Can you pass me my cloak, please?”

Neri crouched to grab the cloak, swallowing back a pained groan due to her bruised muscles, and shook the ice from it.

“Are you alright?” Arna asked, taking the cloak held out to her.

Neri finally met her eyes again, a small yet worried smile on her lips. “I am, but I should be asking you that.”

Arna went to wrap the cloak around herself, but only managed to slip in one sleeve and lift the other behind her when the movement tugged harshly on her freshly healing wounds, forcing her to stop and hiss at the pain.

Gentle hands brushed across her shoulders, against her hand, the warrior walking behind her and taking the cloak from her. She held it up, allowing the shapeshifter to put her other arm in before carefully letting it drop across her back.

“Thank you,” Arna sighed.

“It’s okay,” the warrior replied softly, pulling the hood over the shapeshifter’s face and over the skull as she stepped back around her. Cool fingers caressed her face and she looked up to see Neri’s caring gaze. She reached up to catch the woman’s hand at her cheek, moving it away to study the pink-tinged bandage wrapped tightly around her palm.

Arna took a deep breath through her nose, the chill of the air carrying the warm and comfortable scent of Neri. Beneath that she could smell blood and the taint of an unclean wound. She released Neri’s hand, already missing the contact. “That needs to be taken care of.”

The warrior checked the bandage with a look of disdain. “We can do that in Polenya.”

Arna felt the blood drain from her face. “What?”

A frown dipped low over Neri’s eyes. “We need to restock supplies, buy you some more winter clothing, and rest in a proper bed before we head back west. There’s a Warrior’s Guild contact in Polenya too, so I can see if there’s any quests we can sign up for.”

“No.”

Neri’s expression hardened, confusion clouding her usually so clear eyes. “No?”

“I can’t go to Polenya.” Arna sensed the forest grow stiller and colder around her, the trees tall and imposing, something pushing at her back like a steel wall, a thousand whispers taunting her through the frosty leaves.

“You said the same of Atsylei.”

Arna shook her head, ignoring the strikes of pain at her neck. “That was different. We can find somewhere else for supplies, or I can travel in my other form and hunt. We can-”

“We need to go to Polenya,” Neri interrupted her. “We can’t turn back with what we have.”

“Please, Neri.” She hated how her voice sounded, edged with something akin to desperate pleading. “It’s not safe. I can’t.”

The warrior watched her closely for a moment, before turning away to haul her bag onto her back and pick up Arna’s. “Why are you so against going?” Her voice was stern with exhaustion weighing heavy on her, yet when their eyes met once more there was still confusion and concern on her face.

Arna hesitated, words hitching in her throat and choking her, before deciding the truth was all she had to give. “I’m from the east, this is where I was made into this.” She waved down at herself, jaw clenching and muscles tense. “I can’t go to Polenya or anywhere the other side of it. The cult is still around and they know of me.”

Neri held out Arna’s bag for her to take, waiting for the shapeshifter to heave it up on her shoulders before closing the distance between them. She slowly lifted the back of her fingers to Arna’s cheek in a soothing gesture and Arna couldn’t help but lean into the touch. “The past is the past, Arna. We won’t be there any longer than necessary. One night or two and we’ll be on our way again.” She noticed the shapeshifter open her mouth to argue and continued. “I can’t promise that nothing will happen, but the cult is looking for a giant saber and not a beautiful young woman.” She smiled, pressing her forehead to Arna’s. “We’ll be okay.”

Despite the taunting whispers almost engulfing her and telling her otherwise, Arna hummed in acknowledgment of the woman’s words and nudged her nose against Neri’s. “Fine,” she said, moving away as alarms blared loudly in every inch of her existence. “Lead the way.”

Neri rested her hand on the hilt of her sword and began the few days trek to Polenya, Arna following behind her. All her senses listened and watched, ready for that final descent of the axe, the guillotine scraping a sharp feather touch on the back of her neck with every step they took in the wrong direction. Arna felt the fear, the dread, the regret dripping like rotten flesh, and yet she continued on. Her pace was unwilling and cautious, and yet she couldn’t halt nor turn away. She followed the warrior into what she knew was the largest and worst traps of all, but Neri was right. The past was the past and the cult wouldn’t recognize her like this, not at first at least.

Your past is your present, she thought and she disregarded it immediately. She kept walking with her eyes trained on Neri’s back. She couldn’t leave her now, if ever, and they did need supplies to make the trip back. Arna kept walking, wishing she had never agreed to come this far east. Neri glanced back at her, motioning of her to walk by her side. She matched the woman’s step, startling slightly when cold fingers grasped hers.

“We’ll be okay,” the warrior said again, their hands warm against each other.

No, we won’t. But Arna just nodded and looked away, her feet still moving ever farther east.