Gabriel

“A match?” Gabriel snorted.

Henry didn’t immediately laugh, which led Gabriel to believe that hadn’t been a joke. He set the saucepan down onto a low heat and picked up his phone from the counter. His uncle had video-chat on, and Gabriel found it endlessly bizarre that his uncle knew how to use Facebook Messenger given that he was old when Gabriel was only two. Henry was in a locker room of some sort, and Gabriel wondered it this was a legal or illegal boxing event.

“I’m a college professor now,” Gabriel reminded Henry. “They would look down on their professors doing something irreputable like that.”

Henry had a faint smile. “It isn’t an irreputable match I’m setting up for you. You’ll be challenging an old pro in an official match, there’ll be big money it. Win or lose you’ll be winning big bucks. Come on, you’ll be grand. You can take a nice holiday for yourself.”

Gabriel shrugged. “I’m good on cash. When are you coming down? I have a free room you can use, and I’ll pick up some beers for the guys. Are you still dating the girl? The blondish pixie girl?”

Henry grumbled something that Gabriel didn’t catch. “Pixie is her name, but don’t change the subject. How about you take the job and spend the money on your blond pixie?”

Gabriel stilled.

Henry looked satisfied at the reaction he got and shared a dapper smile. “You’re in my city Gabe, course I know about him. What’s the name?”

Gabriel put the phone back down and stirred the cooking pasta dish. Henry knew. He’d been meaning to introduce the two of them when Henry came down—under strict supervision of course. Henry would take one look at Will’s body and be running the numbers on matches before they’d even shook hands. Maybe even before they met? He eyed Henry distrustfully.

“It’s your city.” Gabriel said, testing. “Shouldn’t you know his name?”

Henry raised an eyebrow. “Now if I had that information you’d be annoyed, wouldn’t you? I’m keeping out of your business, like you asked.”

“Clearly not all the way out.”

“Well I’ve got to know your safe, don’t I? God knows that father of yours won’t be minding you.” Henry remarked. There were voices talking over him, and Henry was looking around. “Match is over. I’ll see you in a few days, get some exercising in, won’t you? I’ll be down to coach you.”

“I’m not doing a match.” Gabriel told him.

“Big money.” Henry said back. “Take care.”

Gabriel discarded the phone and shook his head. He wouldn’t have anything to do with the match—no matter how convincing his uncle tried to be. If he was desperate for money, sure. Or maybe if it was the summer, and he wasn’t working at the college he might do it. But now that he had a steady job, he wasn’t going to endanger it in any way. Not even for the thrill of a good fight.

There was a knock, then the front door swung open.

Gabriel smiled. He leaned over the counter-top so he could watch Will come in through the hallway. Will’s hair was wet, and his shoulders were dusted in raindrops too. His dampened hair and grey clothes made his eyes turn that crazy shade of blue Gabriel loved.

“Welcome home,” Gabriel greeted.

Will let out an amused breath. He discarded his sports bag in the hall and kissed Gabriel’s cheek. His lips were cool. His hand flattened on Gabriel’s stomach, briefly touching him, then moving away.

“That smells amazing.” Will gravitated to the pan, taking a fork and picking out a bit of red pepper to eat. Gabriel watched him pick out a bit of carrot, a sliver of mushroom, then a piece of everything wrapped up in the noodles. It was such an unusual sight that Gabriel was stuck staring. Will was always careful about what he ate. Gabriel had never seen him snack before a meal. Not even once. It had occupied his thoughts quite a few nights, and he was conscious of not digging into extra meals while Will was at the house—he didn’t like eating in front of Will when he wouldn’t eat anything. He thought it would make Will uncomfortable even having to say no if Gabriel offered, or self-conscious.

“Wait,” Gabriel caught Will’s hand. It felt wrong telling Will not to eat, so he kissed his cheek and hugged him from behind. “The chicken isn’t done. I don’t want you getting food poisoning or anything. Five minutes, and it’ll be ready.”

Will put down the fork. “I’m starving.” He complained.

Gabriel wondered if he’d be uncomfortable talking about it? He tried anyway, keeping his voice very conversational. “Did you not get the chance to eat earlier?”

“I did,” Will stayed completely relaxed in Gabriel’s arms. Will leaned his head back into his shoulder and circled his fingers around Gabriel’s wrist. Thoughtfully, he stared down at the pan. “I had porridge and berries for breakfast, soup at lunch, Vinny got me a smoothie, and Michael shared a flap-jack with me, and…” he frowned. “Am I over my calorie count already?”

Gabriel kissed his cheek. “No way. Soup doesn’t fill up your stomach, that’s probably why you’re so hungry. Did you work out much?”

“In the morning.” Will answered. He snuck his hand onto the fork and scooped up the fillings—

“Uh-uh.” Gabriel took his wrist forcing him to lower it. “You’ll be miserable if you get food poisoning.”

“It has been at least five minutes, if not ten.”

Gabriel smiled. “It’s been thirty seconds tops.” He stroked the inside of Will’s wrist and then found his fingers were as chilled as his lips had been. He tugged at the hem of his hoodie, feeling how thin the material was. Before he could ask where his jacket was, Will’s phone started vibrating like crazy. Will checked it in front of him, and Gabriel saw Dune’s name. He also saw the message.

“You aren’t staying the night?” Gabriel asked.

Will replied to the message, telling Dune he’d see him later. “We have a Netflix night planned. Cassie’s going to be there too.” He added, he tried to turn to face Gabriel. Gabriel tightened his embrace, folding around Will’s body, making him smile.

“Stay,” Gabriel entreated, kissing his jaw, kissing his cold ear, and then nibbling at his soft throat. Will’s hands flattened on the counter to hold up his weight. Gabriel nudged his feet apart, and Will compliantly moved them, letting Gabriel fill the space and buzzed at the delicious sensation of their bodies together. He pushed his hand under the front of Will’s shirt, and felt the delicious tight stomach—finally found a part of Will that wasn’t cold.

Gabriel sighed hard, his body pricking to attention, and he marvelled at how fast he responded when it was Will in his arms, marvelled at how eager he was to make up for all those months he’d spent wondering about Will’s days, wondering if was safe at home, wondering if Will missed him back.

Gabriel tilted his hips and frowned at the tension his body met. He opened his eyes, confused, and caught Will’s stony expression as he was half-bent over the hob, forced to stare at the food. Gabriel chilled. He immediately stopped his advance, cursing and curling in on himself in shame, and horror, and bewilderment, and confusion.

“Shit, shit, I’m sorry—” Gabriel rushed out.

Will startled. He turned to Gabriel, his eyes widened, confusion in them. “What’s wrong?”

Gabriel felt sick with himself.

Will’s brows creased. He reached for Gabriel with a tentative hand, holding his elbow. “Gabriel?” His voice betrayed his nerves.

Gabriel had gotten ahead of himself. He’d gotten too excited about seeing Will—and Will had just told him how hungry he was, why did he think now was a good time to do that? He crushed the side of his cheek between his teeth. He felt, very strongly, as if he’d done something inappropriate to Will. “That was… rude. I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

Will looked alarmed. “What?”

“I mean,” Gabriel took in a haggard breath. “You’re hungry.” And I was thinking with my dick, he scolded himself. He berated himself. His heart beat fast.

“I’m hungry, so you can’t kiss me?” Will continued to look puzzled, but some tension eased away. He slipped his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders,. “What’s going on with you?” He asked lightly.

Gabriel didn’t want to say it out-loud.

Will looked inquisitively up at him. “Are you not… in the mood?”

It had been Will that had clearly not been in the mood. Gabriel’s heart got worse. That was the expression of someone who was enduring physical contact, not enjoying it. And Gabriel’s mind started whirling, going back to the other day when they’d touched, and then further back to the other day in bed—had Will had that expression? Had he simply endured it when—

“Gabriel?” Will advanced, and smoothly manoeuvred Gabriel so it was him with his back to the counter. His eyes glittered up as he felt Gabriel’s chest, and then kissed Gabriel. There was a strong taste of coffee, and his lips were cool—should he still be this cold?

Gabriel caught his waist and broke the kiss. Will trailed distracting kisses down his neck, slipped his hands underneath Gabriel’s shirt and started tugging it up. If Gabriel wasn’t so sure of what he’d seen, he would give into Will’s alluring touches. But he was sure. Gabriel steeled himself and caught Will’s wrists.

“You weren’t enjoying it,” Gabriel stated. He stared into Will’s eyes as he spoke. There was a flash of guilt, quickly disguised under a more casual expression. Before he said anything else, Gabriel continued. “You weren’t into it. I’m sorry for pushing, I should have realised straight away, and I’ll be pay more attention next time.”

Will opened his mouth, shut it again. Broke eye contact. He seemed to deflate. “I’m just really tired.” He admitted. “I don’t have the energy for sex. I’m sorry.”

Gabriel slipped his hands to Will’s fingers—why was he so cold?—and squeezed. “Please, do not apologise because you don’t feel like having sex. That isn’t something you should ever feel like your obligated to do, ever.” Gabriel’s voice came out sterner than he meant. But it was only because of the fear inside him. “Don’t force yourself if you don’t want to, and please, don’t be scared to tell me no.”

Will shrugged. “I always feel good with you.” He said, half-hearted.

“Will.” That wasn’t an answer Gabriel wanted to hear.

“The chicken is probably cooked by now.” Will moved to the hob, and Gabriel hovered over his shoulder.

“Will.” He repeated.

Will sighed. He looked over his shoulder, meeting Gabriel’s gaze. There was a soft look in his eyes. “I get it.”

Will got the dishes out and Gabriel plated the food. There was a weird tension as they sat down to eat. Will moved the fillings around on his plate, staring at Gabriel. Gabriel glanced between him and the TV, not sure what to say. He felt like he needed to think things over, get it straight in his head, and then talk to Will about it. But Will didn’t seem to want to wait.

“I like sex.” Will stated.

“Good to hear, I quite enjoy it as well.” Gabriel answered good-natured.

“So you don’t need to over-think it.” Will continued.

Gabriel pressed his lips together. Fat chance of that. He hadn’t been over-thinking things with Will until now. Sure, he worried about Will, he thought about him quite a bit, but he didn’t fret over the ins and outs of their relationship. It had felt good since Will came back to Dublin. Natural.

“Gabriel,” Will looked unimpressed. “You’re over-thinking it.”

Gabriel rolled the pasta around his fork. He watched that to avoid Will’s unrelenting gaze. “It’s hard not to.”

“Gabriel—” Will scowled.

“Will.” Gabriel met his gaze, determined not to let his words be brushed aside again. “You had an expression as if some pervert in a bar had just grabbed you—and I don’t feel good about making my boyfriend respond to me like that.”

Will’s hand shook at a little, and Gabriel softened completely. He shouldn’t have used such a hard tone.

“It wasn’t because of you.” Will mumbled. His cheeks were grey. He picked at the cooling, untouched food. “I’m tired, sure, but that wasn’t why I… I was bent over the food and I couldn’t help but breathe in the smell, and at the same time your hand was on my stomach—” Will closed his eyes and covered his mouth. His words were barely audible when he continued, and Gabriel had to strain his ears to catch it all. “And it made me feel sick.”

Gabriel didn’t know what to say. He tentatively reached out to place his hand on top of Will’s. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked softly.

Will shook his head.

Gabriel tried go back to normal, but Will stared down at his food, not even nibbling the vegetables, simply moving the food around on the plate. None of it passed his lips. Not a single bite. Guilt tore at his insides. He wanted to make Will feel better, but he had no idea how to do that. Gabriel was left at a loss, feeling as if no matter what he did, he’d only make Will feel worse. That was the last thing he wanted.

“There’s two episodes of Grey’s Anatomy recorded,” Gabriel said. “Want to watch them with me?”

Will looked at his phone. “I’m meeting with the others. Actually, I should probably head over before it’s too late.” He stood and touched the rim of the plate. His expression was blank when he bent to Gabriel, pressing a cold kiss to his temple. “Can you put it into the fridge? And I’ll finish it another day?”

“I’d like you to stay,” Gabriel turned to him. He didn’t want him driving right now. He didn’t want them to part when Will didn’t seem okay. “Please, stay.”

Will was unreadable. “I’ll come back later and spend the night. How’s that?”

It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing. Gabriel nodded. “Do you want me to drive you over? And I can pick you up after?”

Will shook his head. “I can drive. I’m good. Okay? See you later.”