I won't lie I've been struggling to adjust I've been struggling with my thoughts I've been listening too much to her I won't lie

I won't lie it hasn't been easy starting this new job feeling the pressure I'm trying so hard to be perfect but why I'm new it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to fuck up in the beginning nothing is truly perfect so why am I trying to be something that doesn't even exist I fuck up more when I'm being monitored by my manager because the nerves get to me because that's when I feel the need to be perfect and I let that get to me and then afterwards after the mistake that's when she starts to talk that's when she tells me how bad it is how much I fuck up the one in my mind and today I let it get to the point where I could feel it in my chest that pressure and soon I was going to struggle to breathe but then my friend came in and I saw her and that weight melted away suddenly I felt like I could breathe again and I continued I with my day but then my thoughts came back and I started to feel down again I started to wonder why the fuck are I even wanted this job I wanted to just quit and go home and cry but I chose to not listen to the one in my mind I push those thoughts away I finished my day I went home and I text the guy who makes me feel the happiest and he helped all my worries melt away it hasn't been easy I won't lie