Why can't I look away?
I used to call it emotional self-harm
What a ridiculous
name for a network failing to adjust to change in its rewards system
So why bo I keep on looking up at You
When every glimpse of You
Send a molten spike of regret and self Loathing threw the center of my heart?
Cos my brain's still acting like it's however many fucking! months ago
Back when seeing You
made everything feel better when just seeing your icon there gave me the reassuring feeling that whatever was bothering me I could tell You and you'd tell me everything's going to be ok that I wasn't a bad person and I'd fucking believe You
Back when I didn't have to write bulshit sudo poetry
Because You'd hear me
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