“So we could actually fit all of us in Lydia’s car if you would like Ari. It would save you some gas.” Sitting in a car for two hours with Parker? I think not. 

I'd rather sit on a fifteen hour plane ride in front of a toddler.

“What about all the luggage?” Ashton said to her, which made a lot of sense.

“There will actually still be plenty of room. I have a pretty nice sized SUV guys, y’all don’t gotta worry about all that.” I still think not.

“I think I’ll still drive my car, nothing against your nice ole SUV Lydia I just like my car.”

“Well you can drive yours alone and Ash can ride with us.” Parker said with a wink. I looked at the dumb ass in front of me and basically let out a growl. 

Ashton seen the tension between Parker and I so he quickly stepped in, he just saved Parker's life.

“I’ll ride with Ari, I’m not going to let him drive alone, what if he falls asleep or something?” That’s my Ashton. I smirked at a very upset Parker.

I don’t want to be stuck with this guy for an entire weekend. There is going to end up being an entire murder.

“You sure you don’t wanna ride with us cool kids?” Jacely said to him while elbowing him at the same time.

“Y’all are too cool for me, I’ll stick with this loser.” I looked at Ashton with the look of disbelief. He did not just call me a loser.

We all got in our vehicles and began heading to this wonderful cabin. I’m going to take this time to try to get to know some things about Ashton, hopefully help him open up to me.

“You could have rode with them Ashton if you wanted to, probably would be a lot more entertaining than me.” I said as I started for the road.

“I wanted to come with you Ari, I’d rather be with you any day.” I looked over the sweet human and smiled at him. Why am I allowed to have him in my life?

“Well aren’t you such a charmer?” He laughed and fiddled with his fingers.

“Why didn’t you want to ride with them? Is it Parker?”

“I don’t like Parker, I can’t even sit in a car with him for ten minutes let alone two hours.”

“Did something happen between the two of you for you to hate him so much?” Where do I even begin? Maybe if I tell him he will tell me some thing’s.

“Parker is...how to put this. He’s an idiot to say the least and he doesn’t know the meaning of no nor does he know how to back off. He has liked me for some time and obviously I don’t like him in return. But that hasn’t stopped him at all.

“I don’t mind someone liking me. But when you go as far as drugging my drink and try to take advantage of me, that’s pretty fucked up if I say so myself.” His eyes grew wide at the words I was saying.

“Parker did that to you? Did you guys...”

“No we didn’t have sex only because Alex walked in and stopped Parker. However, he was giving me head when he walked in. Alex told me about it because he felt like I deserved to know, I didn’t remember anything about that.

“Parker was pissed at Alex for saying something to me but I was grateful for it. So I’ve hated him since that, he was apologized to me and I did say thanks but I could never go back to even being his friend. Jacely likes him and Alex literally loves him so he stays in the group. Forgive and forget right?” I looked at his face to see anger on it.

He sat back in his seat and then sat back up. “What the hell? What kind of person does that just to get what they want? I mean I didn’t drug you but that first night when you blacked out I could have done so much more with you but I knew it wasn’t right.”

“Why didn’t you? You said you knew it wasn’t right, but what really made you say no?”

Ashton sat and thought for a second before even speaking again. “Because I knew that I was going to want much more out of you than sex.” Well I wasn’t expecting that.

I honestly don’t know what I was expecting to come out of his mouth.

“I didn’t want it to just be a one night stand, I knew we lived in the same building and I wanted to have someone here.” That’s all he wants is love, he wants someone to be his partner.

I wish it wasn’t so hard for me to love someone or want to love someone. It’s something I can not do or allow myself to do.

Ashton deserves to know why but...I can’t tell him yet.

“Ashton...why do you crave that love so much?” He was silent again. I don’t want to push him if he doesn’t want to tell me, but I wanna know so badly.

“I’ve had partners but they never went far at all. Growing up the only love I received was from my little sister and she got the same in return. It was rough growing up in our house, especially for her.” He looked down and took a deep breath.

“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.” I whispered to him.

“You deserve to know...our mother left us for another man who had the perfect family. She hated our father so she was never there to help. Our father was a severe alcoholic and even when he wasn’t drunk he was very abusive.

“He always harassed my sister Celest...sexually mostly. I had to save her so many times and that would mean that he would beat me. The last time he ever put his hands on me was the worst. I made Celest hide in our little secret cupboard while I went to deal with our father.

“He wanted her so bad that night, I lied and said she was with her friends. He hated that she wasn’t there to be with him. I may have saved her many times but there were times when I wasn’t there and he got her. I hated myself for it every time.

“I wasn’t going to let him do it anymore. He beat the shit out of me that night. He broke one of his bottles and stabbed me right under my ribs, that’s why I have those scars right there. I seen you staring at them one night.

“Celest had called the police with the phone she took in the cupboard with her so they got there in time to get our father and save our lives. We went and stayed with our aunt and uncle after I got out of the hospital but nothing was ever the same with us.

“She is terrified of men to this day and still has major panic attacks. And I just keep having the nightmares and want love. I just want someone to fill that void, to help me help myself because it’s so hard to do it alone.” Holy shit.

I felt so bad for him, I never thought that something like that had happened to him.

I pulled the car over, grabbed him and hugged him so tight. He did not deserve any of that, he’s such a great person and to know how much he has suffered hurts my heart.

“You are so strong Ashton. I don’t ever want you to think that you aren’t. I also don’t want you to think that I hate you, or don’t want you. I am here, I just...have baggage that I need to deal with and I’m just not ready to.” Ashton looked me in my eyes and I looked into his.

I could love him one day, I want to. But my mind and heart will not let me go any further because all I see are the faces of the people who had hurt me the worst.

I want to kiss him, I want see what his lips feel like but it will only disgust me. Too much has happened to me for me to even enjoy it.

Ashton began leaning forward to me but I moved my head out of the way. I just can not do it.

“Ari..”

“Let’s get going, we don’t wanna get there too late.” I put my seat belt back on and started driving away.

“Ari, who hurt you?” Well that is random. These are the first words he was said to me in the last thirty minutes.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me because whoever has done this to you has hurt my chances of being with you.” He is not wrong there.

“I’ll tell you one day Ashton. I just...I’m not ready to talk about it yet. It’s been years but I don’t wanna face it yet because it hurts and talking about it brings it back to life. I’m sorry.” He grabbed my hand and rubbed it.

“I’m glad we are doing this, going to this lake house. It’s going to be a good break, and maybe it will help you relax some.” Hold up, me relax?

“Shit I am always relaxed Ashton. You on the other hand might need the relaxation.” He looked at me and I grinned at him.

“Oh you’re nasty.” He said as he started laughing.

His smile was so beautiful, just like him.

“So Ari, are you gay?” I literally just choked on my air, I think I’m dying now. “Oh shit sorry!” He said as he laughed at me dying. When I got done I was so red like a tomato.

“What kind of question was that!?” A random one is what it was!

“I was just curious. I’ve seen you flirt with men and then at the same time I have also seen you talk to females that way as well.” None of my friends ever ask about my sexuality.

“Well I don’t care about gender. Make or female it is what it is, sex is sex to me. I’m the one who does the fucking so it’s all the same to me.” I could tell by the faint blush on his cheeks that he was a little turned on by my words.

I love doing that to him. I put my hand on his thigh and started rubbing around his dick.

“Ari you cant do that.” He closed his eyes and put his head on the head rest. I continued to rub, softly stroking one moment and then giving him a squeeze.

His moans were like angels to me, I loved hearing them so much. “I can’t do what Ashton? I’m just giving you a massage is all.” I unbuttoned his pants and put my hand inside of them..

He was biting his lip and holding the arm that was playing with him. To know that I am the one who is causing him make this face is enough to make me wanna come.

“What do you want me to do to you when we get to the cabin pet?” I really probably shouldn’t be doing this while driving, but hey his dick is calling my name.

“Can you fuck me in the woods? I want...everyone and everything to hear....you make me cry out in the woods.” He was panting between his words which made that sentence that much sexier.

“You know I’ll make you my little bitch out there, I’ll make sure everyone knows how good I am fucking you Ashton.” I was going much faster with my hand which was driving him wild.

He was squeezing my arm much tighter and that was signaling that he was about to come.

And I was so right. He leaned his head back and arched his back as he started to climax.

Damn he is so sexy.

“How are you so capable of doing this to me Ari? It’s not fair.” He said as he grabbed something to clean himself off.

I smiled and continued to drive. I love doing this to him.