CHAPTER THREE— WHATEVER IT TAKES

"Why are you avoiding Danilo?" Yvette demanded. Her hands placed on her hips. Monday came and as soon as the woman found me roaming around the halls on my way to my last class. Cursing inwardly, I glanced at the exhaustion in her eyes. "Aeron, what happened when I was gone? After Danilo fetched you, there's a strange and tense atmosphere between you two. Now, I heard that you've been avoiding him."

"Yvette, I just need a time for myself. Your pestering is unneeded." I mumbled. My forefinger and thumb fidgeted with a strand of my hair. When Danilo sent that inconsiderate message, I didn't want to see his face. Why did he suddenly mentioned Corey when he clearly had a clue in my current state of mind? "I'll see Danilo when I made up my mind."

"Why are you being like this? It's unlike you." She insisted and grabbed my forearm. Murmurs from the students around us started after her raised voice. They hid their mouths behind their hands like it could hide their judgment. Eyes bore at the back of my head as I squinted at the small hands gripping my sleeve.

"It's unlike me." I asked. She nodded.

I shook my head and pulled my arm out of her grasp. She didn't know anything about what's running around my head. Sometimes, her concern for me was endearing, but most of the time it's overbearing. "You don't know what's like to be me. Please stop spouting words that you don't mean. Yvette, you're my friend but I don't need your meddling."

She gaped. Disbelief in her feature. Appalled by my words, she scoffed. "Suit your arrogant self, Aeron." I thought that she would leave however, her eyes suddenly trailed down my arms towards my hand.

"You should treat that." I watched her retreating form without any regard for her hurt tone. My other hand immediately moved to touch my bruised knuckles. A sudden pang hit my chest. Turning on my heels, I spoke with a dead-pan tone.

"There's nothing here." They scrambled and ceased their murmurs.

Even if I plugged my ears, I could hear their voices. The motivation to do anything left my body, though there isn't even anything that I'd want to do. Reflecting on my decisions and taking responsibilities tolled. I believed that I forgotten those that I'd parted with, but I wouldn't forget the fact that I forgot them. Living with their ghosts and basically possessed by them.

Walking down the halls, plenty of students and presence of the living, I sensed the emptiness underneath, in the corners, and inside my core. The sound of footsteps both rushing, running, and leisurely walking rang a bell. Its chime resounded by my ears as I imagined when I still had a little life in me.

"I can't waste this life in cleaning up your mess now that you're gone. Danilo may call it an obligation, but there's no way I'll be able to do it." I muttered under my breath as the shadows of the people that once walked by my side remained. Instead of staying in their physical forms, their shadows from fragments of my memories remained. "The emptiness, contrary to everyone's belief is suffocating."

I didn't have the ability to stop things from leaving me. My so-called dreams, hopes, and pent up resentment coiled in my spine engraving their traces. I want to see you soon.

Drop dead.

Please, die.

Those words would remain as thoughts without a chance to be heard by anyone. How could I voice them when no one was left in this world deserved to hear them?

ɷɷɷ

My knuckles touched the door as I knocked. From the other side, I heard little frantic footsteps heading towards the door. Brightness spilled into the afternoon dusk and Olevia clung to my feet.

"Big brother." She exclaimed and her little fingers tightened around my legs. When she noticed my lack of enthusiasm in her actions, she stepped back. Pursing her lips, she rushed inside. "Mom, Aeron's home."

"Aeron." Her small voice thundered down the doorway. They must have called her about my absence. I trudged inside, passing through the kitchen and above the stairs. "Where are you going young man? The school told me that you ditched your classes. If you didn't sit your butt here right now, you're grounded. We need to talk."

I ignored her shouts of my name and locked my door. Slumping on the bed, my back hit the mattress with a bounce. That's when I felt a hard object sinking on my ribs. My hands reached for my phone. At the same time, the blank screen lightened as it vibrated.

Sighing, I dropped it on the floor. Fifty-seven missed calls and one hundred unread messages. Danilo's and Yvette's name filled the screen. I didn't have the energy to deal with them. Burying my face in the pillow, I willed myself to think about something else.

If a motivation was necessary to keep moving forward, then my indignation, was good enough for me. Tomorrow, would the morning sun shine to dry the spilt tears? Since the day when everything became futile, I'd vigilantly imagined that morning when everything would be repaid.

"Son, Danilo is here." Angeline's voice passed through the security of my door. I tossed and turn in my bed as footsteps ascended the stairs. My voice was muffled by the pillow. "I don't have the energy to deal with him."

"Aeron?" Three knocks as always from Danilo. "Are you awake?"

"Enter." I scratched the back to shake the sleepiness away. He had an unusually messy brown hair. His bloodshot hazel eyes probably mirrored mine. Wearing a frown and a stiff figure, he stomped towards my messy desk. "What is it?"

"It's been three days, Aeron. What are you doing? Yvette was getting irritating, looking all over for you. At first, she wanted to visit and directly ask your parents. You should be thankful that I stopped her in time. We don't want her to be involved in your mess." He ranted while flicking through one of my files.

Danilo never changed. In that aspect, we're similar. When his cowardliness was absent, he could barge into anyone's business like it's his. But when its present, both of us easily rushes towards the fastest way out. Maybe that's why only the two of us were left.

"Don't act like you came here for me, Danilo. It's either Yvette urged you, or you felt guilty. Self-satisfaction was always the one that'll do it for you." I crossed my legs and leaned against the headboard. "Danilo, just say your business then leave."

"Will we ever fix this hostility between us?" I shook my head with a grin.

"Sit." I patted the space beside me.

"I know that you're ignoring my messages. I'm serious this time. Let's visit Corey." He spoke and I scowled. "I won't back out until you agreed this time. You've been running enough for the both of us for the past years."

"If going on living is such a bother, then dying once and for all is also a bother and making all these excuses is also a bother. All around the world, everything is just a bother. If thinking optimistically is such a bother, then thinking pessimistically is such a bother too and falling asleep is a bother too. Each and every little thing is just a bother." I murmured looking at his eyes. "Phil would've said that we will only bother ourselves and Corey for petty curiosity and the urges to satisfy ourselves."

"It's been more than a year, Aeron. Phil's gone." He replied. I averted my eyes when I heard the solemnity in his tone. It was too early in a weekday morning and he suddenly sprouted such things to me. It was too early to explicitly discuss Phil even though years passed. The wound I carried wouldn't heal that fast. My patience rode on a thin hair-like rope and it weighed heavily.

"Yes, and you're coping very well, aren't you?" I scoffed. His hazel eyes darkened.

"Don't turn this on me. I understand what you're feeling. I was his friend too. And, I'm worried for you. You're destroying your life. I had enough of watching from the side lines." I rolled my eyes. Someone like him wouldn't understand. Just as he said, someone who felt content in watching from the side lines would never understand how it felt. How daunting it was to be in the center of worse circumstances and unwanted attention.

"I need you to stop meddling. You... and Yvette. I'm fine." My shoulders slumped. "Space is all I need. Surely, you know about my father. I can't do this with him right now. If anything, he makes the sorrow worse than it'll ever be. This whole charade of a family is a fucking scam. If I truly wanted to, I would have run from everything and never turn back."

"No, you're not fine." I cleared my throat at his words. So, he knew my state of mind better than me now? "If you can hear yourself, you'd say the same thing. Yvette's— we're worried for your health. This isn't good for you. Aeron, wake up and move on."

It was like he didn't hear anything that I'd just said. In the end, no one would ever truly listen like Phil did. They all ignored my words. Listening to those that they only wanted to hear. Then, putting words that weren't mine in my mouth.

"Did you come here just to say that?" I didn't have anything more to say. It's clear that he'll never listen. He came here to dump his useless thoughts that haunted him to someone that could handle it better than him.

"No, just like I said, I wanted to visit Corey. I want closure. After learning about Corey's condition, I-"

"I don't want to hear it." I jolted from my bed and marched towards the door. With my back facing him, I spoke words that would always be my answer. "Leave. I thought you got the hint that I don't want to discuss that matter with you by the way I ignored your attempts of communicating. I guess, I had done something wrong. Did I seem eager?"

"Corey's parents sent a message. They want their son to see his friends for the last time."

"..."

"You're being heartless, Aeron. All of us had a part in this. Corey ended up there for you. And, I bet Phil's actions had something to do with you too. Please, just this once, come with me. I want to do this with you as a friend, even if you don't consider me as one anymore." With a hard voice and finality in his tone, his words struck my core and dug in my bones.

"Why did you come here? You knew that I'm suspended." I gulped, trying to divert his attention. I couldn't have another breakdown in a span of less than a week.

"What suspension? You're not suspended. I thought you excused yourself because you didn't feel well." Now, I'm the surprised one. I turned on my heels and let go of the grip on the doorknob. Danilo wore a confused expression at my surprised one.

"Who the hell told you that?" I hissed with a menacing tone coming from throat.

"The council said you'll be helping them in their activities. Lincoln, the guy you beat up didn't say anything about suspension. I guess he didn't want to further infuriate you." He said. My jaw dropped.

"Aeron?"