The last bell rang at two o'clock, shortly after a crescent number of students flowed from the main gate with joy, because another day of school was finally over. Shinkuu moved among the crowd trying to break free from the oppression that she felt because of being surrounded by so many people. Her fear was not exactly agoraphobia, but a strong feeling of nuisance for being near to others, near to misanthropy. However, this adverse feeling against the others made her feel more hurt, becoming a victim of her own hate.

Finally out of the crowd, she sighed lightly and, turning towards her school, she looked at it and give her last though for it. “This is a farewell, oh School, where I learned no math, no Latin, but the meaning of pain and loneliness” Then, she turned again and started again to walk. She was not sure about where to make the fact yet, finding always some reason that stopped her. She wanted to die, but she wanted to avoid bothering anyone too. Walking near to a famous cathedral of the city, with so many suggestive images that stuck out from the rock, she thought once again about death. In one hand, she was relieved, because all suffering was about to end; in the other hand, she was afraid of death, so mysterious and impenetrable. What was waiting for her in the other side? She was aware about many religious beliefs about death. In any case, she didn't want to believe neither Shintoists, nor Buddhists, nor Catholics. Otherwise, there would be nothing for her more than Hell. “It can’t be worse than this world”, she repeated often to reassure herself. “And if in the land of the dead I don't find peace, I'll search for somewhere else… ” Although she gave up with her life, she didn't want to give up in finding her ‘home’. Shinkuu kept walking on the streets, visiting other familiar places, thinking about how many different worlds may exist. “Somewhere there must be a place for me, otherwise why was I born in the first place?”

She walked for many hours, without a clear destination. Her idea was to find a place to drink the contents of the bottle and let her body there, but she couldn’t make a decision about it. Near the river, under a bridge, inside the cathedral, in a solitary alley, in a park, in a forest, in a cemetery. In the end, after all that wandering, she decided to return home. “There, I can do it peacefully, no one would try to stop me. Certainly, I'll bother them, but it doesn't matter. After all, they don't care about me, anyway” That was not an exaggeration: indeed her stepfather cared little or nothing about her. Her mother since long ago had stopped to care about her daughter, absorbed by her luxurious life. Thinking about this, the girl was more convinced to do what she was about to do.

It was about five o'clock when Shinkuu decided to return to home and, of course, there was nobody to say her ‘welcome’. Immediately she took off her bag and sweatshirt, throwing them towards the sofa in the living room. She sat on it with her arms stretched out and her head facing up. The solitary girl stared at the ceiling, thinking what to do. It wasn’t like she changed her mind about drink the poison, she just didn't want to do it immediately. Gurgle. Shinkuu was surprised by the grunt of her stomach that remembered her she didn't eat anything after breakfast. “Even if I'm going to die, eat something good would be a nice idea” She remembered that her parents left some money for any need she would have for a week and decided to call a pizzeria and order a portion of lasagna. It was one of her favorite Italian dishes, along with typical rice dishes of the northern regions of the 'Bel Paese'. While she was waiting for her dinner, switched on the radio, put on it a disc of rock and turned up the volume. Because of the hunger, she searched in the fridge for something as aperitif, but she found nothing but a big tub of vanilla flavor ice cream. Without thinking twice, she took it and devoured it cheerfully. Altogether, with the radio, she sang with all her strength. After about half an hour, her dinner arrived. The delivery boy rang the bell and waited that someone to come out. “Judging by the music it must be some kind of metal heads' party”, thought the boy. “But if is that the case, why didn't they ask for more food?” Few seconds later, the door opened and Shinkuu appeared with a spoon on her mouth and an angry glance. The boy, of course, was a little shocked. Without caring about the value of the banknote, Shinkuu put the money in the boy's hand, saying indifferently “you can have the rest” and closing quickly the door. A little annoyed for the bad manners of the ‘emo girl’, the delivery boy came back to his scooter, but at the same time happy, because he just had the fortune to gain about one hundred Euros as a tip. The lasagna was eaten without mercy, and Shinkuu finally was satisfied. One more song began, a song with a particular sense of nostalgia, it was like that this song was the melody of her broken and sad heart. Therefore, she raised up and, with all of her strength, she sang, altogether with the song that remembered her the pain of being alone, even given a form to the void she held inside. The song finished, and Shinkuu felt like all the pain and all the sadness of her heart were thrown away. Her big chest was somehow lighter, her heart beating with strength and her tired breath remembered her of being alive. Because of always repressing her feelings, she found this form of pouring them out refreshing. Thanks to this newfound calm, she evaluated once more about committing suicide, and her answer this time had no hesitation: she decided that the moment has arrived. She turn off the radio and the lights of the first floor, then climbed up the stairs, thinking that those would be the stairs to heaven. She entered in her room and sat down on her bed. In her hand, there was the little bottle. For a moment, she looked at it with some fear, but then, without any more hesitation, she drank it until the last drop. “This must be the taste of death”, she told to herself, a bitter and repulsive taste. A strong headache make her lie down on the bed. The bottle fell from her hand and she herself felt as she was falling into a deep abyss. Little by little, her vision became less clear until it was completely dark. She was stretching her hand upwards as she was trying to grab something, perhaps the hand of an angel that would take her to heaven. “Good night, Shinkuu”, said to herself with blurry eye. The hand fell inert beside the inanimate body, which face was paler than usual. Outside, the light of the crescent moon illuminated the sky.