Laughing Matter stepped into the room and asked "What are you two doing?" 

"We're just, um, looking at some of your old photos Dad." Said Theo. 

"Oh, I see. Hey! That picture there! I remember that day!" Matter exclaimed. 

Theo inquired "Really what happened?" 

Matter began to tell the story of the matter transfuser. A deadly weapon owned by a certain space snail that was only in its prototype stage. 

Matter began his story..."One day I was slapping together a turkey sandwich with a live turkey and ranch, which I'm still pretty sure was mayo, when the phone rang. None other than Joe the space snail was on the end and invited myself and Slinky to a tour of his new interstellar museum. At one point in the tour, Slinky asked about a certain machine that looked like a sombrero covered in feathers. Joe said it was an experimental version of the Smartinator mark 46 and it wasn't to be used. Slinky said that it was because of my stupidity that I put it on but I think he was just jealous. Before Slinky and Joe could take it off I bumped the ON button and a series of lights and sounds exploded from the hat and after 3 seconds it all stopped. At first, Joe pronounced that it didn't work but then out of nowhere, I spat out a large formula for an equation that Slinky was trying to figure out at home. Slinky almost crapped his pants and Joe basically melted. After Slinky gathered himself and Joe became solid they continued the tour and stumbled upon the control room. Slinky was about to check out all the buttons when I for some reason rolled up in a chair and input a code in the computer. All of a sudden the museum started to move and was increasing in speed towards a neighboring sun. Slinky thought to himself that maybe the machine didn't work 100% so he went to get it. After Slinky returned to the control room with the sombrero he tripped and fell on the floor. The sombrero floated down onto his head and activated. Now this should've just made him smarter but instead this fused him with Bob the super dog that was atomized and stored in his pocket. So now that Slinky and Bob were stuck together Joe tried to change the settings but just ended up fusing with the table he was leaning on. Meanwhile, I, who was just now noticing the problem, put it on and pressed the reverse button. The, well, relatively good news was that I was dumb again, at least that's what Slinky told me, but the bad news is that I fused with Slinky's left arm. Now we were really in a pickle and none of us knew what to do but just then someone entered the control room. It was none other than Bob! But that didn't make sense. Bob was in Slinky's pocket so how was it that Bob was standing there in front of us? *Lightbulb* Slinky made a realization! The reason the matter transfuser didn't work perfectly was because the 'Bob' in his pocket wasn't Bob. It was another space snail! Joe recognized him as his uncle Steven. Boy was Joe mad! He told Steven off and made sure he didn't come back to his space station for at least two days! Snail time is really slow so two days to them is like 2 years. I don't get it but Slinky said it was fascinating or something. Now that he knew the problem, Joe recalculated and reversed the transfuser and made Slinky and I normal again. Now the only thing left to deal with was the impending doom that awaited us as we hurtled toward that neighboring sun. Luckily Joe told the virtual onboard navigation named S.T.A.N. to halt all engine movement and change coordinates to Earth. With that out of the way, Joe finished up the tour by showing us around the other end of the museum. My favorite part was the large pile of brown stuff that kept pulsing. Anywho, Joe dropped us off and we've kept in touch ever since."