POV: Maddison Johnson

She’s back from out of town. I was walking over to see her, to finally fix us. To see if her being away changed anything.

It did.

I saw her getting out of her car, she looks like she went to the store to get some groceries. She wasn’t alone. Reyna was with her. The two were laughing and playfully nudging each other as they carried the paper bags of grocery’s upstairs. When Scarlet moves to unlock the door Reyna sneaks in a quick kiss.

I watch as Scarlet prolongs the kiss, her body melting together with Reyna’s.

If she would just turn around she would see me standing in the parking lot looking up at her.

Reyna pulls back with bubbly laughter before pointing out that they were still outside. Scarlet flashes her flirty smirk and quickly unlocks the door. I watch them walk inside and quickly shut the door behind them.

I look down into my hand at the promise ring I wanted to give back to her.

She doesn’t love me anymore…

No.

She does. I know she does. I can’t give up just yet. I have to at least try. I quickly walk over to the steps and walk up to Scarlet’s door. I move my hand to knock but I hear screaming and laughing.

“Scarlet!” Reyna giggles.

There is a thud against the door.

I flinch back.

“I got you now,” Scarlet says in playful banter.

“And what are you going to do with me thief of hearts?” Reyna says.

“Why steal your heart of course.” Scarlet giggles.

“Ah I should have known, but if you want my heart you got to work for it,” Reyna says.

“Well lucky for me I know a way to a girl’s heart.”

Please make it stop.

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“Well, I’m going to cook you dinner,”

“A huh.”

“Then I will give you a back rub,”

“I’m listening.”

“Then we’ll cuddle,”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Lastly when it’s just you and me and all the world is asleep, I am going to dance with you. As if we were the only people in the world. How does that sound?”

There is silence. I feel sick because I know they are kissing. She used to kiss me like that. It was me she used to take dancing. Me she would cuddle with. Me who she would cook dinner for. It was me.

And now it’s not me.

I take a shaky breath and look back at the ring. My tear slips down my cheek and onto my hand, right on the ring. She doesn’t love me anymore. I don’t think I will ever be able to recover from this. Why did I have to mess this up? Why did I let her go? Why?

I set the ring down right in front of the door.

She probably won’t even see it. She’ll just step on it. Move over it as if it is nothing. As if it is invisible. I take a step back. There is another thud on the door followed by loud moaning. I quickly turn away and run.

Just as I run down the stairs and out of the parking lot, it starts to rain.

By the time I make it back to my house I am soaked. I walk inside and smack right into my mom.

“Where the devil have you been? You’re soaked. What is going on with you? You’ve been acting strange all break.”

I ignore her and run to my room.

“Maddison!” She chases after me.

I run into my room and slam the door and lock it.

“Open this door this instant young lady. I have had enough of this, what is going on? Maddison! Maddison talk to me! Maddison! Why are you acting like this? What happened? You can talk to me baby girl.”

I slide down the door and hug my knees to my chest.

“Maddison please open up! I’m worried about you, we all are. What is going on? Let me help!”

I grab my headphones and put them in my ears before putting on whatever and blasting it so I don’t have to hear her voice anymore.

She wouldn’t understand.

None of them would.

I listen to music until Crazy for you by Madonna comes on.

It reminds me of Scarlet.

Just listening to the song I can feel her warm embrace around me. Feel the smile of her lips against my skin. I can feel us swaying to the song. Our breaths in sync, our hearts beating as one. I can feel her hands running up and down my body, her lips against my own. I can almost hear it, that faintest of whispers…

Maddison…

The song ends and an advertisement breaks the trance.

I quickly rip the headphones off and throw them across the room.

I can’t tell if it’s dark out now or if it’s just raining. Or maybe it’s just me. Either way, I’ve been sitting here so long I’ve dried off. I listen to the house and it is silent.

When the world is asleep…

I walk over to the window and stare out into the night sky. The clouds eclipse the moon. It’s stopped raining.

I look out at my lawn, I can remember when she came over here and threw rocks at my window until I came outside. More tears come to my eyes as I squeeze them shut and force them back.

“Hey if you are done being dramatic, I’m leaving.” Kace bangs on my door.

I flinch at the sound.

“Maddy?” he calls.

I walk over to the door and open it. He frowns at me. He has his bags in hand.

“I’m leaving sis, got to go back to school tomorrow. See you around?”

I nod.

He sighs and sets the bags down.

“Hey, come here.” He wraps his arms around me. “I don’t know who hurt you, but I do know this. Whoever they are, it’s their loss. Stop beating yourself up. I’m worried about you. You hardly said a thing all break. You still haven’t even opened your Christmas gifts. It’s going to be okay baby sis, I promise.”

But it’s not.

She loves her now.

Not me.

“It hurts.” I finally say.

Then I can’t stop the tears anymore. I grab onto my big brother and I cry into him. What if that’s it? What if I never fall in love ever again? What if I blew my one chance? What if this is the peak of my life and it’s all down here from now on. What if she is the best thing I will ever have?

He holds me tightly. I just need someone to hold me, if not her, anyone. Someone to hold me together and keep me from falling apart. I just feel like this shadow has come over my entire life, I’ll never see the light again.

He pulls back, that’s when I notice mom and dad standing nearby and watching in concern.

“Hey look at me.” he grabs my face.

I look into his eyes.

“I can’t fix this one for you Maddy. I wish I could. I really do. You know I would do anything for you. That’s what big brothers are for. Lucky for me I have the best baby sister ever. I know you are strong; I know you can get through this. I know it hurts right now, so bad, but you can’t let it consume you. You have to push through. I know you can do it. You don’t need anyone to validate you. You were amazing before them, and you will be amazing after. Just remember that on these darkest days, remember who you are. You are Maddison Johnson, don’t ever forget how awesome you are.”

My breathing is staggered and comes in hiccups as I struggle to get my tears under control.

“Will this pain ever go away?” I ask.

“I know it will. You just got to give it time. look at me Maddy,” He grabs my hands in his. “This may feel like the end of something, but just remember every end is just a new beginning. There are still many more great thing ahead.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” I sob.

“I know. But there is, you just got to trust me on this one sis. Besides, you and I both know that big brother is always right.” he smirked.

I can’t help but smile at his dorkiness.

“There she is, meddlesome Maddy, my most annoying little sister.” He teased.

I sniffle and wipe my tears with the back of my arm.

“Promise me you’ll be okay?” He asks.

I nod.

“I need to hear you say it, say you’ll call me if things get too dark for you. I’m always going to be here sis, no matter what. That’s what family is for. We are sort of stuck together for life, trust me if I could get a refund I would.” He teases.

I laugh a little and smile at him.

“Okay. I promise.” I say.

“Good, next time I come down here you better be smiling. Or else I’ll have to break out the tickle monster.”

I roll my eyes at him.

He smiles and hugs me one last time. I cling to him tightly.

“You’re strong, just remember that.” He whispered in my ear.

Then he pulled back and grabbed his bags again.

“Now, off I go to Neverland.” He smiled at mom and dad.

Dad walked him out. Mom walked over to me.

“Don’t you ever push me out like that again.” She embraces me.

“I just want to be alone,” I say into her.

“Where have you been running off to all break?”

“Her place. She wasn’t home, she was out of town. I was trying to get closure… but it only made things worse.”

“Who is she?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I saw her today, she has someone new now. They seem happy. She was laughing and smiling, just like how she used to with me. She doesn’t need me anymore.”

“Oh Maddy, there-there. Shh, it’s going to be okay.”

“It was my fault. I cheated on her.”

She pulls back and looks at me.

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever done and ever will do. Even worse I lied about it because I was scared I would lose her. Well, I guess I was right.”

She just sighs and holds me again.

“Well at least you learned a lesson, I know I shouldn’t tell you this but all hope isn’t lost.” She says.

I pull back and look into her eyes.

“Come here.” She pulls me into my room and sits on the bed, patting the spot next to her.

“Mom?” I sit next to her.

“I cheated on your father once.” She says.

My eyes go wide.

“I know, I know. It was before you and your brother. We hadn’t been together for that long and I was young and wild. I didn’t want to be held down to one man. Your father was good to me, everything a gentleman should be, but I was scared.”

“Why?”

“I was scared that I would fall in love with him. I didn’t want to admit that he had that power over me, that my life was going to change forever. Love has a way of coming and screwing up all your plans and I didn’t want that. I actually never wanted kids. I was going to be a rocket scientist and become something great. Silly I know, but it was my dream and I wasn’t willing to give it up yet.”

“What happened?”

“I got scared. I could feel myself falling hard and fast, so to prove to myself that I was still in control, that I didn’t care about him as much as I did, I cheated. It was with my roommate's brother. I didn’t love him, sure we were friends and close friends too, but I didn’t love him. I loved the idea of him, the idea that I could use him and get what I want without having to settle down. It was so exciting at the moment. I loved every second of it. But when it was over…”

“Then what?” I pushed.

“The atrocity of what I had done sank in. I realized too little too late that I was indeed already head over hills for your father. I knew he would be heartbroken if he found out, after all, he loved and trusted me with everything he had. And I just stomped all over that. I was scared all over. I didn’t want to lose him, but I was at a crossroad. Never tell him and live happily ever after together, or tell him and be my own woman. Chase after my dream. You know what I did?”

“What?”

“Neither. My roommate told on me. She was mad that I used her brother. I broke his heart by using him as if he was just a tool. To get back at me, she told your dad what I had done. It was awful. The worst way imaginable of how he could have found out. I knew it was all over from there.”

“But it wasn’t,” I said

“No, obviously not. Now the man is overweight and sleeps next to me at night keeping me up with his snoring. Back then though, I didn’t know I would end up here. I broke. I let the only man I loved slip right through my fingers because I was selfish. I chased after him, I begged him to take me back over and over. I didn’t care about my dreams of the past, I knew I didn’t want to live another day without him in my life.”

“How’d you get him back?” I asked.

“I didn’t. He got me back. You see just as much as I love him, he loves me even more. The whole time I was hurting, he was hurting too. Fighting a war within himself as to what to do with me. Eventually, my constant pleading and pestering finally paid off. He just walked over to me, I thought he was going to tell me off once and for all, but instead, he grabbed me, dipped me over, and kissed me. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows after that either. There were trust issues for a long time. He was always afraid I would do it again, I was afraid he would come to his senses and leave me. But eventually, love prevails in the end. What I want you to take away from this, is that if she loves you like you love her, she’ll come back to you on her own terms. If not, then it was never meant to be and you just have to accept that and move on. I am not saying I agree with what you did, but I am saying I understand it. Because I’ve been there Maddison. It hurt, but I came out of it, just like I know you will come out of this too. You just got to let these things take their time. Time heals all wounds and love fades all scars. Do you understand?”

I nod.

“Good now get some rest, you go back to school tomorrow. I want you bright eyed and bushy tailed. A new year means a new start. Just forget about all the bad of last year and take a deep breath and start again. Sometimes that’s all we can do.” She pats my shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask. Now sleep, I mean it.” she gets up and kisses my forehead before walking out and softly shutting the door behind her.

Even after all of that I still feel awful. I curl up on my bed and stare at the wall. I wish Scarlet’s arms were around me and she was holding me close. I know we could have been forever; I could feel it. What we had was special. I could see it changing her, I could feel it changing me too.

Maybe it’s not too late.

I grab the key to her apartment off my nightstand.

Maybe there is still hope.

She loves me.

I can feel it.

Forever can start tonight, even if she doesn’t know it. I am not going to give up just yet. She will see that I am serious about her. She will see that love always wins.

I get up and grab the chain from my jewelry box and turn the key back into a necklace. The chain is already broken in one place but I was able to fix it, we can fix this break too. I clip it around my neck so she’ll always be close to me. As long as I wear this around my neck she will know, I am not giving up on us.

She’ll see that I will always keep fighting for us.

Because love is always worth it in the end.