POV: Scarlet

The music from the house party reverberates in my stomach. Fuck, I feel sick. Why the hell did I agree to this again? Oh yeah, because I have to "fit in". I want them to like me. This place is a nightmare. Everyone is so fake. I just want to go home already.

How the hell did I do this in college? It’s so tiring to party every day. Fuck, I guess that means I really am getting old.

“Scarlet baby, come here!”

Yuck, Isabel. The worst of them all. She is like the pack leader of models, no one is a real model unless she says so. She is in good with all the modeling companies around here. She even got picked to be an angel at the Victoria Secret show this upcoming year. If I want to make it big like her, I have to do everything she says. Or so the other girls say. We all suck up to her.

“Hey, Iz, what’s up?” I sit next to her on the couch.

This is her house. She has the biggest house, the fanciest cars, the best of everything. Yet it doesn’t make her happy. I can tell. I mean I did walk in on her crying and forcing herself to throw up the other day. Ever since then she has been paying me extra close attention. That was the last thing I wanted.

“I was just telling this hot stud here, that you aren’t interested because you are a total lesbian. He doesn’t believe me.” she cackles.

She has dark hair with extensions in. Almost her whole body is fake. Fake tits, fake ass, fake cheeks, but you wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance. Whoever did work on her made it look all natural, they must get paid a lot. Her skin is overly bronze from her tan, her clothes always too small and too tight. She is as thin as a toothpick. Part of me pities her, the other part fears her.

“How did you know I like girls?” I ask.

I never told her, I never told any of them.

“Please, I see how you check out all the girls. It’s obvious.” She snorts.

“I’m Bisexual by the way.” I correct her, looking at the man stud.

“Show me.” he wiggles his eyebrows.

I look to Isabel and she smirks. I’m not really in the mood for any of this, but I have to. Or else. I wish I was drunk or even higher than I already am. I glance around the house which is overflowing with people drinking and using marijuana in various ways. They all wait for the countdown to new-years.

“Come here, baby.” Iz grabs my face and kisses me.

She keeps calling me baby, even though she is only 22 and I am three years older than her. I guess it makes her feel superior or something. I am glad Rey is not here if she knew what I do at these parties.

I wrap my arms around Iz and pull her closer. She is so thin I feel like I could break her in half. Her tongue quickly darts into my mouth, she tastes like margaritas. I’ll be the first to admit I feel ashamed for the shit I have put myself through this past couple of weeks just to get these assholes to like me. I guess living the dream isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes you have to do things you wish you hadn’t.

She pushes me down on the couch.

She is an awful drunk kisser, an even worse top. Her teeth keep accidentally clanging against mine. I grunt in frustration and quickly turn the tables on her. I flip our positions and show her how it’s done. It’s almost like she has completely forgotten about man candy as she feels up my chest. Maybe she has. Part of me thinks she is still in the closet, I’ve seen her checking me out more than once. Maybe that’s why she is secretly depressed.

I finally pull away and leave her wide-eyed and breathless.

“Is that enough proof for you?” I turn to man candy.

He has an obvious hard-on. He was watching the whole thing very closely.

“I would like to see more.” He teased.

“Well too bad, this isn’t Pornhub.” I roll my eyes.

“Wow, you’re a really good kisser,” Iz says.

“Thanks,” I grumble. Too bad you aren’t.

“It’s starting!” someone yelled into the crowd.

“Come on, let’s get a good view baby.” She grabs my hand and quickly leads me upstairs. Man candy gets left behind.

She unlocks her room with the key from her pocket and quickly pushes me and shuts the door behind us. Then she leads me over to the balcony. We step out into the cool Californian air.

“5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Happy new year!” the crowd below cheers.

We watch as fireworks go off in the distance. She doesn’t say anything; she just watches in silence.

“Can I ask you something?” She finally says,

“You just did.” I tease.

“Why don’t you drink?”

Ah, so she finally noticed. I was wondering how long it was going to take. I already heard the other girls talking about it behind my back.

“Alcohol and I used to be best friends, but some things happened that could have been prevented if I wasn’t drunk. I guess you can say we don’t get along anymore. I promised myself I’d stop drinking for good. It was an ugly habit of mine. I’ve been sober for a month and one week.”

“Congrats.”

“Emm, sometimes I think about it. Especially recently. You haven’t made it easy for me to resist.”

“Guess not, truth be told I’ve just been trying to get you drunk.”

“Why?”

“So you would sleep with me.”

There is a moment of silence between us.

“I don’t have to be drunk to sleep with you,” I said.

“No one who is sober is ever willing to sleep with me. It’s because I’m ugly.” She said.

Is this what I sounded like in college?

“I used to think the same way you do, but I’ve learned something recently.”

“What’s that?”

“If you let fear control you and stop you from being who you want to be and doing what you want to do because you are afraid of what others will think, you will be miserable for the rest of your life. You are a beautiful, strong, badass bitch, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.”

She smiled and her eyes watered over.

“Thank you.”

“I mean it, you don’t have to destroy yourself to be perfect. Look at me I’ve really let myself go, I feel like a fat ass around you toothpicks. Does that mean I am going to get weight loss surgery? Hell no. Sure I’ll go on a diet and jog some more, but I am not going to let it get to me and destroy me. I’ll do it because I want to, not because I think that’s what everyone else wants.”

“Okay, I’ll try. It will be my new year's resolution.”

“Good, I’m happy for you. Hopefully, you aren’t too drunk to forget all this.”

“I’m not, I might be a little more than buzzed but I’m not drunk.”

“Good.” I smile.

She walks over to me and kisses me. I deepen the kiss, but I feel nothing. It’s just a kiss and a pretty sloppy one at that. She pushes me onto her bed and gets on top of me.

“Fuck me,” she says.

“Okay, but I get to be top. No offense but you suck at it.” I frown at her.

“Shut the hell up and just fuck me already.” She giggles.

I smirk and flip our positions before kissing her. I wonder if she knows I leave in a couple of days. I wonder what she thinks this is. Because to me, this isn’t anything but sex. But it might mean more to her.

So we have sex while there is a party going on. It’s not the best sex I’ve ever had, not even top 10, but it is sex none the less. When I get up and get redressed she says,

“Stay, spend the night.”

“Can’t promised a friend I would see the countdown with her. Well, I was here fucking you, so that makes me a shitty friend. Besides I need to go back to my room and pack, I leave back home in a couple of days.”

“But I feel like I just found you, don’t leave.”

“Sorry, but I got to. I enjoyed meeting you, plus you have my number so we can still chat when you need to.”

“Stay, stay here with me. never go back home. I feel like you get me like you understand me in a way no one else has. I can help you get more modeling jobs, you and I could be legendary.”

I feel like I’ve heard this all before.

“I wish I could. It does sound tempting, but I should get going. I’ll call you Iz. Just remember what I said.” I slip my shoes back on.

“Scarlet.” She calls before I can open the door.

I turn to her.

“I’ll never forget you.”

“Good. Because you never know when I’ll be back.” I winked at her before leaving.

On my way out I see Sherry. Shit. I quickly turn around, but it’s too late, she saw me.

“There you are.” She marched over to me.

“I didn’t drink anything, I swear.” Now getting high, that is a different story.

“Your eyes are really red, where have you been? I thought you said you were done with parties.”

“It’s new years, sue me. Besides I had a few loose ends to tie. But now I am exhausted and would like to go back to my room to apologize to my soon to be girlfriend for being shitty.”

“I can drive you, come on.” She leads me out of the party.

I swear Sherry is stalking me more than she is stalking Carmen. All because she thinks I am “depressed” and that I’ll “drink my life away” well fuck her. Maybe I am depressed, maybe I have thought about drinking my life away. But I didn’t! so there.

“Where’s Carm,” I ask.

“She’s at home, we just had dinner earlier. She really wants to see you before you go. She’s doing a lot better Scar, I promise. I wouldn’t even bring her up if she wasn’t.”

“I just need time. It’s bad enough I already have one person begging me to stay in Cali, but with Carm, I don’t know if I could say no. We have history, I’m not in any state to see her. I might do something stupid like sleep with her.”

“Okay, I’ll tell her you need more time. I’m not going to make you, not after everything she’s done to you.”

“Thank you.”

I get into Sherry’s car and we drive to my hotel.

“You need me to walk you up?”

“No thanks, but thanks for coming to check on me. I was really close tonight to breaking my sober streak, but I pulled through. It helps knowing my scary best friend could show up at any moment and kick my ass.”

“And don’t you forget it.” she teases.

I giggle before kissing her on the cheek goodnight and heading up.

To be continued...

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