I turned the TV on for Darren and left YouTube playing. I figured that would keep him busy while I did homework. Cheetoh appeared to be out, so I was able to work undisturbed, though I periodically felt the light and happy energy of Tanner scurrying around me. Despite his best efforts to get my attention, I kept my focus on my work.
Majoring in a general arts and science degree to become a violinist and electronic dance music (EDM) audio engineer and music producer was probably one of the dumbest decisions I’d ever made, but I was doing it. My mother was a goddess and had no opinions on the matter, so I had only myself to blame.
Why the regret? I had no previous music experience when I chose my major in my first year. All I knew was that I loved violins and I loved EDM. While I only had a couple of classes where I actually got to play my violin, most of my EDM work happened at home and on my own time. The rest of my time was spent studying historical and contemporary composers and learning to read sheet music.
I had wanted to attend a fine arts school; however, Silverbrook was the safest place for me given the times, so I worked with what I had. The school didn’t have a major for what I was studying, so I made my own. I could probably make a killing resurrecting the dead for the Canadian Armed Forces and put us on the map for military strength, but again, sadly my natural ability was illegal. Besides, I was alive wasn’t I? I wanted to focus on life, not death.
***
After a couple of hours, I emerged from my bedroom to find Darren exactly where I’d left him in the living room. I’d changed into a pair of taco-themed pajamas and joined him on the couch.
He turned to me and said, “Did you know that ferrets are called carpet sharks and that there are entire YouTube channels dedicated to owning pets? I had no idea. I just watched cable my whole life before this.”
He looked genuinely distraught at all his wasted viewing potential, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “We can keep watching pet videos if you’d like or there’s always Netflix if you want a change of pace.” I leaned over to pick up the Xbox controller we used to navigate apps on the TV and powered it up while I waited for his decision.
Darren turned to face me on the couch. “You’re pretty when you laugh and really not the person I thought you were when we first met.”
I blushed and stared at him stupidly, not knowing what to say or do. After a moment I replied, “I realize I came across as rather harsh, but you can’t imagine how many times this kind of thing happens to me monthly, even weekly. There have been times in the past that I have made mistakes getting involved and things didn’t turn out the way... the way that I had planned.” I decided not to respond to his compliment. I wasn’t sure how much of that was him trying to flirt or whether it was simply an observation.
“What happens to us when we stay too long?” His face quickly went from light-hearted to serious. He had a couple of long bangs collecting around his eyes as he looked at me. I raised my hand and moved them aside with a gentle push of my necro-powers.
His face changed from sadness to wonder, just as I had hoped, even though I knew I was about to crush him.
“When people, or even animals, stay too long after their body dies, they watch as everything around them moves on and changes while they stay the same. Your family will never forget you, but they will suffer more if they feel you around all the time because you’ll be suffering as you watch them continue on without you. A coldness will creep in wherever you are and your heart will harden. Eventually you’ll learn how to manipulate things around you—like how I told you in the diner that your beliefs create your reality—but because you’re alone in the world and always here and never a part of it, one day, you’ll hurt someone because pain is all that you have left.” I tried to hold his gaze to instill my sincerity, but watching the nightmare play out across his eyes was too much. I turned away and fiddled with the controller.
“But—um, what about the rats?”
He surprised me with his question. I said, “Oh, the rats. It’s a little different. Tanner, the rat that sits on my shoulder and is always with me, he’s a rat spirit, kind of like a god. He’s the spiritual manifestation of our idea of what a rat spirit would be. He looks exactly like a pet rat that I had when I was young, so I named him after Tanner. I mourned Tanner so seriously that one day this little rat spirit showed up, looking just like him, so I gave him the same name. While my Tanner moved on, a part of him is still here in a way because all rats are connected to the rat spirit. I don’t know if that makes sense. It doesn’t always make sense to me, but some things exist physically and others are energy that has taken shape because we’ve given it to them—because we believe in them.”
Darren made a ridiculous face. I could tell he was trying to process everything, but mostly he was just squinting and looking silly. “Stop it,” I said and tossed a pillow through him.
“Rude,” he replied.
“Pffft.” I rolled my eyes at him, but couldn’t stop smiling. “Do you at least get the general idea here? I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m twenty and I’m still taking it in—and it’s been a part of my whole life! All I know is, some things exist because we believe in them. We think of rats taking over and swarming, so when I summon Tanner to help me with something, hundreds of rat spirits show up to help because rats are social and live in huge family groups. We, as humans, know that, so when we feed into this idea of them, we make it a reality in one way or another.”
“So, what you’re saying is, there are, at any given time, hundreds of rats living in your house.” He feigned looking alarmed.
“Oh, stop it. I mean, you’re not wrong, but rats are very clean animals and besides, these are spirits! It’s not like they poop everywhere.”
“Cecile! I can’t believe you just said poop to me. We hardly know each other.”
We both laughed. I knew he was trouble the moment I looked into his bright amber eyes that morning. The more time we spent together, the less I’d want him to leave, but I’d made this mistake before, years ago with my best friend.
Comments (6)
See all