Joss seems to be fond of PDA, so it doesn’t take the hockey team very long to suspect that they’re together.

It’s all little stuff, like notes passed in class and a brush of fingers in the halls, but soon it’s cheeks kissed and shoulder massages. Eli even ends up with Joss’s team jacket for a day, which leaves the team in malevolent hysterics.

It’s all little stuff that they say, at first. A disgusted look exchanged, a whisper that ends with a laugh and a glance in their direction.

One day, Joss surprises Eli. “Do you care about being out to the school and/or your entire reputation?”

Eli thinks about it, and is surprised to find that he doesn’t, not deeply. He tells Joss just that.

The next day, outside English, Joss grabs him by the waist and kisses him in front of the world.

“Bye, sweetie!” He says. He pecks Eli on the lips again, and then pushes him down the hall to his next class. “See you later!”

Eli’s a little shocked, but he gets what the demonstration is for. Now the rumors can be confirmed, and Joss can face the problem of his teammates head-on. He’s just a little worried about how the teammates will take it.

About two days later, Joss phones Eli after school.

“Yeah?” Eli answers. “What is it?”

On the other end, Joss sounds frantic and muffled. “Just, can you come over?”

“I’m working with the Leóns. Can you wait an hour, or is it urgent?”

“I can wait.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll be alright. Really.”

And he hangs up.

Eli bikes over an hour later, and lets himself into the house. He finds Joss in the basement, curled into a heap of blankets in a corner beside the couch.

He rushes over.

“Oh, God, are you okay?”

Joss just lifts his head. His eyes are bloodshot, and his face looks like someone took a digital smudge tool to it.

“Do I fucking look okay?”

Eli ignores his question and wraps his arms around him.

“I don’t want fucking cuddles! I said, do I fucking look okay?” He’s half-crying, and Eli wants to hug him and protect him from all the pain in the world.

“No.” He says. “You look awful. What happened?”

“Nothing, except the team and the whole school and fucking Jesus saw me kiss you in the halls.”

Eli frowns. “What’s wrong with that?’

“Everything!” Joss sounds hysterical. Eli’s never seen him this frantic before. “Did you know that ice hockey is one of the most homophobic sports that exists? Did you know that almost every other major sport has had an out gay athlete? Did you know that there isn’t a single NHL player that I can tell my teammates about when they call me a fag?”

He’s sobbing now, tears running down his face into the blanket. “I don’t even know if I’m gay! I think I’m bisexual or pansexual or whatever the hell it is! And I just want to play but my dad is going to know and he already hates me because of my mom and I might get kicked off of the team and I don’t have friends anymore! God fucking shit, Eliseo, I don’t know what to do!” He reaches his arms out and wraps them around Eli’s waist, burying his head in Eli’s shoulder.

“Oh, Joss.” Eli says. He holds Joss as tightly as he can. “You just keeps going. You have me, and the Leóns, and we will always be here for you. I know what it feels like. You just keep going.”

“You don’t know!” Joss shakes his head fiercely. “You really don’t know. You don’t have anything like hockey in your safe, perfect, little life. You're pretty boy, for fuck’s sake!”

“God, Joss, how do you think I felt when I came out to the Leóns? I thought they’d leave me! I didn’t have anyone. My entire life has been structured Christianity since I was born. I thought God hated me. I thought everyone hated me.”

Joss wipes his eyes. “What did you do?”

Eli brushes Joss’s damp hair off of his forehead. “I just kept going. I threw up a mental middle finger.”

Joss huffs out a laugh. “I think I’m just going to throw up a real middle finger. I’m too good. The team will lose if they lose me.”

Eli chuckles. “That’s not how team sports should work.”

“Nah. But I’m a beast on the ice. And other places.” He pauses. “Oh God. I really am gay. Or bi. Or pan. That’s like the first time I’ve ever said that. Oh my God. I did a lot of research, you know.”

Eli drops his head to Joss’s shoulder. “I don’t really care what you are. It doesn’t matter as long as you like me.”

“I know… but it still feels wrong. I feel wrong.” His breath is still shaky and uneven.

“Tell me how to help you.”

“Stay.”

So Eli does. He stays until Joss falls asleep on top of him, and he stays until Joss wakes up a few hours later. Only then does he take his leave.

“I’ll see you later, mi sol. Don’t get too lonely while I’m gone.”