So today I came up with a really bad analogy for how I feel in my life, and here it is.

Imagine that when you're only a small kid you are given a pair of shoes that you have to wear almost all the time. At first you like the shoes, or at least don't mind them. After all, why should you? They look decent and they fit well. Besides, you don't need to do that much in the shoes anyway. But then you keep growing and you still have to wear those shoes. The shoes are getting way too tight, and it's obvious that they're not a good fit. As you grow older, the shoes get tighter and tighter, and yet the things you have to do in the shoes get more and more challenging. When you first got the shoes you only had to walk a little bit, but now that you're older you have to run marathons and hike to the tops of mountains. You would think that people would realize that this is a problem and let you take the shoes off, but they don't. Instead they tell you that you're the problem. "See those people over there?" they say. "They're wearing the same shoes as you are and they can run marathons and hike up mountains without breaking a sweat. If those people can do it in these shoes, then there's obviously not a problem with the type of shoes." You want to protest, say how stupid that is. It's not your fault you can't do as much work as everybody else, the shoes just fit them better. But people still tell you to just try harder and that eventually when you're able to take the shoes off, the shoes and the hard work you did in the, will give you important life skills. No matter what you or others do or say to protest, you still aren't allowed to take the shoes off until years from now, and you're not even sure you can make it until then because of the pain and how hard you have to work. And along with those terrible shoes, there are also other clothes you wear: a shirt and pants. The difference is that these clothes were given to you at birth and you never take them off. Most of the time your shirt and pants fit fine, but sometimes you feel like they're too tight or too lose, and it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe it would be a little less terrible if you weren't also wearing the shoes, but you are wearing the shoes, so the pain feels unbearable. But you're not sure what you should do about your shirt and pants. It's true that they are often uncomfortable, but usually they're fine. Besides, you don't know what other people's clothes feel like. Maybe it's normal for everyone's clothes to get too tight or too lose once in a while. But as you grow older, you realize how silly you've been. The shirt and pants, although occasionally okay, hurt too often. You shouldn't wear them anymore. But it's not that easy. These are the only shirt and pants you have, and if you were to take them off you would be vulnerable and embarrassed. And if you do take them off, you're not sure if you'll ever find new clothes to wear, let alone clothes that fit. But you still want to try. You make an attempt to make the clothes more comfortable, but when that fails you try to take the clothes off. But instead of coming off, the clothes cling to you too tightly, suffocating you. You give up hope. After all, these are the only clothes you've ever worn, and even if they're terrible sometimes, they've also provided you with comfort and support. So you continue to move on like normal wearing your constricting clothes, because you don't have any better options.

The shoes in this analogy represent what school is like for me and the shirt and pants represent what my parents are like. They may be okay for some people, but none of them are a good fit for me, but there's nothing I can really do about it.