A few hours later Xan woke up out of habit to start his morning. The sky outside was still pitch black, lightening raced across the sky and thunder shook the ship with her wrath. It was going to be a terrible day. They should have tried to dock somewhere, but it wasn’t safe in British waters.
Xan got up and made his rounds. The Captain had kept everyone on short shifts if they even had to venture outside at all. It was a game of hunkering down and hoping for the best.
Eventually Xan wandered down to the galley. The ship was tossing too violently for the cooks to work so it was a dry provisions day. He grabbed two portions of dried meat and bread before heading back to his cabin.
Xan was about halfway down the corridor back to his cabin when he heard screaming. It sent ice racing down his spine. He walked faster trying to listen for it again but was met with silence.
Finn.
The moment he realized it must have been Finn he broke into a sprint. His legs ate the distance between them in seconds.
Xan wrenched the door to his cabin open. It was still dark from the lack of sunlight. He reached beside the door and stole the glowing blue torch. They couldn’t risk using real flame so the warlocks had enchanted the torches in the hallway. It left the halls glowing with pale blues and greens. It easily illuminated the entire small cabin.
He froze when he realized Finn was still in bed, alone, and looked very much unharmed.
“Are you okay?”
Finn said nothing and wouldn’t look at Xan.
That was when Xan noticed Finn looked like he was panting. He managed to get the torch secured and placed the food on his desk before slowly moving over to the bedside.
Finn still hadn’t moved or said anything. Xan perched himself on the edge of the bed. He noticed a sheen of sweat on Finn, the hair on his nape was wet with it. He was shaking, from fear or cold Xan didn’t know.
Realization came crashing over Xan and he didn’t know what to do with it.
“It’s going to be okay; I promise.”
Another streak of lightening flashed into the room followed quickly by a loud crash of thunder. The boards of the ship trembled with the boom.
There was a quick intake of breath from Finn followed by a chocked off sound.
Xan leaned his head closer and with the new angle saw the tear tracks staining Finn’s gaunt face.
Xan felt his chest and his throat constrict. He didn’t know what to do. It had been so long since he’d comforted one of his sisters after a nightmare and Finn’s seemed so much worse than theirs had ever been.
He acted more on impulse than anything else and hoped he didn’t screw everything up.
Xan reached out slowly. He gently placed his hand on Finn’s back. He flinched at first but Xan just kept a gentle press. When Finn seemed to relax again Xan moved it in circles.
It was like something in Finn snapped. His eyes slammed shut and he hunched forward until his chest was flat with his legs. Little hiccupping sounds started before they turned into full choking sobs that jarred his tiny body.
Xan reacted. He pushed himself further into the bed gathering Finn into his arm and just holding him. He held the small boy, one arm wrapped around his abdomen the other still stroking his back. He rested his forehead at the top of Finn’s spine.
They stayed like that for a while. Finn’s crying wasn’t calming. Soon his breaths started to sound gasping. Xan didn’t want to cause more of a problem but he had to do something.
He pulled Finn into an upright position. His breathing was getting harsher. It was panic.
Xan managed to turn Finn and himself until Finn was in his lap and cradled his head in the crook of Xan’s neck. Finn tried weakly to push away for only a moment before he gave in.
Xan’s heart was shattering for the boy but he had to calm down. He held Finn like one might a small child. One hand on his head stroking his hair and gently massaging. The other at his back doing the same. Xan tried to stay calm, he couldn’t control the rabbiting of his heart but he could control his breathing. Finn had synced with him so easily before, he hoped it worked again. Finn weakly wrapped his arms around Xan and fisted his hands into Xan’s jacket.
Finn was still sobbing into Xan’s neck. The force they exerted on his tiny body were now shaking through Xan too. If he could feel it shake into his bones, it must have felt bruising for Finn.
Xan added a slight swaying motion while his hands continued to hold and try to relax Finn.
It felt like hours had passed when Finn’s sobs started to slow and quiet. He struggled through the little stuttering broken sobs, and small broken hiccups, before he could finally manage even breaths again.
Xan never let go. He kept doing what he had been.
He waited until Finn began to protest and push back before he pulled his hands back. He still refused to let go entirely. Simply moving them both to the middle of Finn’s back.
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. You don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t.”
“Do you want something to eat?”
“No, thanks.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No.”
Finn’s fingers were fidgeting with the fabric within his reach which was the ends of Xan’s jacket. He wouldn’t look Xan in the eyes.
“Okay.”
Finn crawled out of Xan’s lap and back under the blankets. Xan expected him to turn away and curl up by the wall but instead he was facing Xan and curled towards where he was sitting. Finn reached out a weak hand and tugged on the end of Xan’s jacket. There was no way he could turn away.
Xan slipped off his jacket, dropping it next to the bed before sliding himself under the blankets and faced Finn. Finn still wouldn’t meet Xan’s eyes, instead just staring a hole through his chest. The blue torch still lit up the whole room. Xan could see Finn’s puffy red eyes and the damp tracks still smeared across his pale cheeks. Xan hated to think about it but the red really made the color of Finn’s eyes stand out.
Deep blue, the outer ring flecked with green and the inner with gray. Xan doubted Finn wanted to hear that even when he was crying his eyes out, they were still striking.
Xan reached out his hand, not sure what to do. Maybe Finn would take it, maybe he wouldn’t and he just wanted someone with him. What he didn’t expect was Finn shuffling forward and tucking himself against Xan’s chest. His hand coming to Xan’s side and this time fisting a handful of his shirt.
Xan wrapped his arms around Finn and felt it when his breathing slowed and soft snores drifted from his stuffy nose.
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