Warning! This Chapter has mentions of past/hinted child abuse & PTSD!  

-Xander-

They carefully lead me back a little but let me keep my feet in the water.

“Xander can you hear me?”

I nodded slowly leaning on Croix shoulder. Abruptly I was pulled into both their strong arms.

“Guys?” I asked desperate to break the silence.

“I'm so sorry I didn't know.” Kono cried into my shirt.

Croix sniffled. “We're sorry, we should have noticed something wasn't right. You were alone and we're so sorry.”

“It's not your faults.”

Croix's growl vibrated through me. “Is he still doing it.”

I pressed my face into his chest.

That was all they needed. Croix began rubbing my back and Kono ran her fingers through my hair, calming me- grounding me.

“What are we going to do? I don't want him anywhere near you.” Kono whispered.

“I'm moving out in a couple of weeks, right before Homecoming. We'll just make sure to stay with you till then and you'll come with me because this- this isn't right.” Croix’s hand fisted my shirt.

“But I don't want to intrude-”

“Nonsense. I want you as far as I can get you from that monster.”

“Don't speak that way he's still our-”

“No he isn't!” Croix said with venom in his voice. “A father wouldn’t do that! He's hurt us all in some way shape or form and now- this is the final straw.”

His words caught my attention. I sat up looking at them.

“How did he hurt you guys?” When he promised not to hurt them if I stayed quiet.

“Hmm, I never did get to explain it to you. You had just come back and we hadn't had much time alone to just talk.” Croix gestured to himself. “As you can see I'm no longer your older sister but your brother.” He gave a self conscious smile. “While you were gone I went through a sex change. And let's say Jolon was a constant pain in my ass but he couldn't change my mind when mother and grandfather approved. So I went through with it. The day you came back home I had just come back a few days before from recovery, and there you were. You looked at me- the new me and didn't question it. You smiled pulled me into a tight hug, even used the right pronouns. But Jolon hasn't really spoken to me much since but when he does he belittles me, hence why I'm moving out. I’m done with it.” Croix shrugged.

I hugged him. “He shouldn't do that. This was your choice and he should be happy that this makes you happy.”

The first thing I noticed when I came home was Croix's change, but when I saw him I didn't really care, he could have been purple with green spots. He was still the same person.

Kono joined in on the hug too.

“Now before we get to me. I want to ask you something important.” She gripped my hands again. “Do you like Lumir?”

Looking away. “I can't-”

“Do you like him? It doesn't matter what father says, do you?”

“I shouldn't. He- father could hurt him.”

“Xander, for right now don't focus on that.” Croix promoted.

Don’t focus on father.

I shut out my fear and thought. Thought back to Lumir.

I did like him. A lot. His eyes, his freckles- that thanks to P.E. I knew he had everywhere, I liked his bright personality, his drive to make sure others were happy, and overall just him.

“So?” Kono whispered.

I had my answer, had known it and shoved it down to the furthest reaches of my mind but now that I could sit safely and think I became very aware of how clear that it must be to others.

I smiled. “I do like him.”

They smiled. “Does he make you happy?” Kono asked.

“Yeah.”

Kono’s smile grew tender as she ran her hand over my cheek. “Then don't let anyone tell you differently. Love is a rare thing and hard to find. If he makes you happy then be there with him, live each day, ignore father and live your life.”

“That sounds like personal experience.”

“It is.” She took a breath, silvery white hair falling over her eyes as she bowed her head. “I'm a Hanau me ka uhane ole.”

“Born without soul?” I translated out loud then froze when it clicked. “You don't have a soulmate?”

She shook her head. “Mine isn't dead, nor will they be born later. Mother explained to me years ago that she took each of us to test our Bonds when we were younger, but I didn't have one.”

I felt a twinge of pity and sadness. It wasn’t unheard of for people to not have a soulmate. It was just rare. Which made falling in love for them a lot harder. Because the person they date could later find their soulmate and leave them. Poor Kono.

She growled. “Father treats me like I'm broken and at the same time like he's happy I don't have anyone, it's kind of- no it is messed up.” Her gaze lifted to me. “Though I guess compared to what you've been through it's not much.”

“It doesn't matter what we went through, we were all made to feel different and wrong for being us and that's not acceptable.” Croix pulled us all into a hug. “Why don't we all move out? There's more then enough room at my place.”

“What about if you find your soulmate? You going to kick us out?” Kono joked.

“No I'll find a new bigger place to move to.”

Kono kissed his forehead. “Thanks but I was already looking at a place down by the Shopping District.”

I listened them go on about their moves and the locations they we're looking at. It really put into perspective how much time has really passed since we've all been together, it also got me thinking.

I couldn't always live with Croix because he would eventually find his someone and maybe me mine and it was wrong to impose on technical newlyweds. But would my soulmate want me with all this baggage and mental scarring? Would Lumir?

And what was I going to do about Lumir? I had finally admitted to myself my feelings but acting on them was a whole other thing. Just because he was gay didn't mean he was for me. Though that reaction he had earlier gave me hope.

My loud yawn drew their attention. Croix laughed. “Come on we're having a sleepover in- wait for it- Kono’s room!”

“Hey don't decide things on your own!” She pinched Croix's cheek. “but yeah we are! If we leave now we can swing by the store and grab some snacks!”

They stood then faced me and each gave me a hand. Smiling I took them and stood.

I'd be okay, not immediately but some day and everything would work out.

I wrapped my arms around their shoulders, kissing both their foreheads. “Love you guys.”