Warning! This Chapter has mentions of past/hinted child abuse & PTSD!  

-Xander-

I sped down the streets wishing again that I could just run the rest of the way, but I had Croix’s car and needed to bring it back home. All I wanted was silence but my thoughts kept replaying the evenings events.

The two people I had come to call friends weren't what I had thought they were but actually a part of my world. A rare type of hybrid, hidden to keep them safe.

Lumir, poor Lumir he had been through so much lately. Coming out had been hard on him, we all saw it slowly eat away at him but now on top of all that he learns he's a Natural.

His words of doubt echoing in my head as he questioned his place and if he was normal in a place of magic.

And what did I do to help him? I got so caught up in trying to make him feel better that I got swept up in my hidden emotions and kissed him.

My fist gripped the steering wheel.

I couldn't believe I did that! Though his reaction when I leaned back wasn't one of disgust. It was open with untapped wonder and confusion. Those wide blue eyes of his that could be the embodiment of the ocean had froze me, lulling me into his depths and I was drowning.

Then I ran. Ran like I always did, terrified to let these feelings surface. I felt a tingle go up my arms.

Breathe, focus on the music. Breathe.

Approaching the Manor I eased off the gas parking in Croix’s spot by the garage. Then quickly made my way inside, pulling my thoughts to a forced silence as I peeked around the loft.

No one was there. Straining my hearing past the music, I picked up on mother's singing upstairs as she worked, Croix turning the page of his book and Kono-

“Gotcha!” She sang leaping on my back.

Suppressing a startled shout, I staggered forward before catching my balance.

“Hi to you too, Kono. How was your match?”

“My fight was fine. I didn't win but oh just you wait till next time!” She punched her fist into the air.

I smiled. “I don't doubt it.”

She climbed off me. “So did you save him?” She asked looking me over. “You must have if your here but… something about you is… off….”

I flinched as she tried to press past the wall around my mind.

“Kono.” I warned.

“Your hiding something and I want to know, he's my friend too.”

“Look nothing really happened-”

“Liar. You called Croix all panicked.”

I looked down at her. “Wait, Croix told you?”

“Well not exactly but I'm not stupid. Mom got a call about a student that shifted- who was chasing a Protected student. Not even a second later your running like your life depends on it. Then Ellie's calling asking if I've seen either you or Lumir, because her Dad is looking for him.” She stepped into my space. “I-” She paused sniffing the air. “You have blood on you! Are you hurt?”

“It's not mine.” I answered too quickly. Crap.

Her eyes flashed crimson. “Then it's his! Xander what on earth happened?”

A long drawn out sigh drew my attention to the top of the stairs in fear only to see Croix.

Croix, my older brother stood arms crossed, dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans. His short wavy hair was colored like mine but his fringe was black while the rest was an off pearly white.

He watched us with hooded eyes. “Jolon’s coming home so let's take this to my room.”

“But-”

“No buts, Xander. You owe me an exclamation for why I drove my car to you and that unconscious boy. Now come on before he comes through the door- sees us and he demands you tell him.”

With nothing more to add we rushed up stairs and into Croix’s room.

Now out of every room in the Manor and there were a lot, Croix's was the most… unique. Bookshelves and animated posters lined his walls, action figures stood posed, everywhere you looked there were comic books some he collected over the years while other he wrote and drew himself.

Kono and I cleared a spot, moving his books and sat.

I picked one of them up, seeing Croix's pen name on the cover. “How many more till your series is complete?”

He brushed his bangs back fixing his glasses. “Four more books, but that's beyond the point. Xander come on tell us what happened.”

Seeing no way out of it I told them as quickly as I could, I explained what happened at the abandoned train tracks and when I took him home.

“So Lumir and Ellie are Natural’s after all.” Kono mused.

“You felt it too?” I asked.

She nodded. “They smelled like one but it was so so faint and even when I could smell it I didn't know what it was.”

Croix poked my side. “Tell us the rest.”

“What rest?”

“Don't play dumb. I saw the way you looked at this… Lumir. I'm a writer, Xander don't think I can't tell when someone is interested in someone else.”

Heat rose in my cheeks. “I don't know what your talking about.”

Kono and Croix shared a look before Kono moved to my side.

“Brother… Xander. You can talk to us.” She prompted gently almost exactly like mother.

I looked at them trying to seem nonchalant about this news but really my whole world was spinning like it did with Lumir today.

“Xander?”

“I'm gay.” I blurted only to watch them smile.

“Okay.” Was Croix's response.

“I'm happy for you.” Came Kono's.

I stared at them. “You don't care?”

Kono gripped my hand in hers. “Why would we? If it makes you happy, if it makes you- you?” But her smile fell. “Mother and father don't know do they?”

Croix's indifferent attitude dropped at my lack of words. He sat up pinning me with bright gold eyes.

“They don't know or you haven't said anything?”

“I uh can’t-!”

Downstairs the front door slammed shut and I felt my blood run cold, my scent of fear hit the room hard. Just as I had finally told them- when I let my guard down- of course he’d show up.

I reached to quickly to shut the door but Croix was faster. Shutting and locking the door, even going so far as turning off the lights, then he was back at my side holding my face in his hands.

“Breathe, Xander. Breathe calmly or he'll hear you. Focus on your music.”

I struggled to take calming breaths trying to hear my music over the roar of my heart but it wasn't working.

Goddess did he hear me just now?

Footsteps sounded as they came up the stairs, Kono nudged Croix aside locked her gaze with mine and spoke.

“Sorry,” Her gaze swirled from our identical brown to red. “You will not panic. You'll calm down. You are safe here, look at us we won't let anything hurt you.”

I found myself nodding, beginning to fall under her hypnotic words. The only problem... it wasn't a thing- an item I was scared of….

She frowned when she noticed her power wasn't working, then tried again. “We won't let… anyone hurt you.”

And everything stopped. I was calm, breathing normally.

The footsteps paused outside the door. My siblings held their breath watching his shadow underneath the door. Before it went on and to mother's room, her door opened he gave her a greeting which she returned distracted, her door shut as he walked the rest of the way down the hall, his door opened and shut- silence.

My siblings let out a collective breath. Kono snapped her fingers and all my emotions slammed back into me.

I suppressed a groan at the throbbing in my head. Stupid Emocculde power. I thought before stiffening and raising the walls back around my mind but it was too late.

My siblings silence grew as they felt half of what I was- been feeling behind my carefully constructed mental walls. I felt their worry but I couldn't seem to find my voice- to explain myself.

I had tried so hard to not let them see that. To see what he- what his presence did to me. But now it was out in the open, I was laid bare before them.

“Xander?” I flinched hard away from Kono’s touch before catching myself.

“Sorry.”

“Don't apologize. Tell us what he did to you.” She tried softly

“Nothing.” I responded automatically.

“Don't.” Croix snapped, his voice sharp not like him at all. “That wasn't nothing, Xander. That was pure unadulterated fear.” His eyes locked on mine. “What did he do to you.”

Again I couldn't find my voice.

“Come on Xander. Tell us what he did to cause that reaction in you?” Croix practically begged. “Did he say something? Take something?” His eyes searched mine taking in each flinch of his questions.

“Xander,” Kono moved closer till she and Croix were shoulder to shoulder. “Did he hurt you?”

At that I closed my eyes and nodded once.

“Xander, hon what did he do?” She whispered.

I didn't want to talk. I wasn’t supposed to. Not about this, but already I felt my thoughts unbidden swarm fighting to break my walls. And with Kono and Croix’s questions and worry the wall crumbled.

With a internal gasp I fell back to my time away from home and the many many visits father would make to Tutu's.

All of his fake smiles, rough touches, his words that turned to shouts the second we were alone. It was always bad with him- never safe and it only got worse when he found out my sexuality. What I thought was hard before was nothing to this.

Blood, all the blood he forced on me, down my throat as I sat there- begging him to stop. Dad please I can't breathe! Stop! It hurts!

 All the pictures he showed me of men waiting till I was aroused only to hurt me physically, to taunt me- to yell and say my thoughts and feelings were wrong- sick.

Dad please, why are you doing this? To make me drink only female blood till I was sick and fighting off my shift.

Dad no! I didn't mean to- I'm sorry- I didn't- I don't want to be hurt anymore! I’ll stop- please no more!

His laugh echoed and I couldn’t do it anymore. Instincts flooded my mind till nothing else existed.

Run!

My mind clouded over and yet everything sharpened into focus, the music no longer heard. I could hear him now as he walked back down the hall into his office, whistling that damn song.

Run before he comes back- flee before he finds you!

Leaping to my feet I went to do just that, only to have hands grab me. No! No more!

I clawed and fought back till they fell away and finally ran, throwing open doors in my way till fresh air hit my face but it wasn't enough space- wasn't enough distance between us.

He always found me no matter how hard I tried, how well I hid.

What would happen if he found out about my friends? Would he hurt them too- hurt Lumir the same way?

The fear that tore through me pulled me deeper into my panic, heart rate rising. Vaguely voices reached my ears, I was being followed! No!

I needed to get away. Then a comforting smell I knew so well hit me. Before I knew it I found myself knee deep in water.

The cold shocking me out of my panicked thoughts with a gasp, my knees buckling. Though instead of falling face first, I was grabbed.

I looked up blinking away tears to Kono and Croix.