"I-I was outside experimenting on a new Earth Golem. By the time I came back, this little guy followed me home. It kept tugging at my skirt with big heart-melting eyes. O-of course I have to give it something to eat!"

"Judging by how it's on the verge of vomiting, I guess it regretted following you for a free meal. Never saw it coming, poor creature...ACHOO!"

"...... Do I look like Semiramis to you?"

"... Who is that?"

"None of your d*mn business. Just know she is d*mn beautiful."

"... I'm sorry. The only woman in my heart, is Syrenka Warszawska."

"..... THAT MERMAID STATUE IN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN!?"

"Yes... Ever since I was a child, I was in love with her."

"F**K! THERE'S A LIVING AND BREATHING MAGICAL GIRL YELLING AT YOU LIKE A HOUSEWIFE! HOW ARE YOU NOT CONTENT WITH THAT!?"

"... My heart will never betray the Mermaid of Warsaw."

"DON'T SALUTE! SHE'S NOT A STAR-SPANGLED FLAG!"

Side note, the Mermaid of Warsaw still exists to this very day. Feel free to fly over to Poland and take a selfie with the beloved statue. Peace.

......