Finals pass without much drama, and the Saturday after finals is always the biggest party of the year. Eli never goes, because the party scene with the hockey team isn’t his style. Joss insists he go. They’re fighting about it almost every day; Joss cajoling, ordering, and reasoning as to why Eli should attend. He hates it. He really doesn’t want to be there, and the fact that Joss asking him is almost enough to get him to go is torture.

“Pretty boy. It’s a party. You’re like 6 feet tall. Nothing is going to happen to you.” He pauses. “That is extremely flawed logic, but you still should go, because it will be fun, and you never have any fucking fun, and also I want you there because now the whole team looks like asshats to me and I need one rational person there.”

That’s what convinces Eli, of course. The reminder that he has slowly become the most important person in Joss’s life. After their kitchen conversation, Joss has started talking to him almost every day.

“Fine.” He says. “Fine, I’ll go. But I need a ride, and I’m not drinking, and the first moment I don’t know where you are I’m leaving.”

“Attachment issues much, you fucker?” Joss says, but other than that he doesn’t complain about the conditions.

The next day, Joss picks him up outside his house at 9. Eli tells his parents the truth, and they in turn make him promise to not do all the things he already has no intention of doing.

“You ready to fucking party?” Joss shouts, about twice as loud as necessary. He’s wilder than normal, more loose. Eli hopes to high heaven that he hasn’t already had anything to drink.

When they arrive, the party is already in full swing, music blasting through the night air, turning the sky bright with bodies and light and noise.

Inside is a mess, bodies pressed to bodies.

His drink surely has alcohol, but the air reeks so much that he can’t tell.

He needs to calm his jittery nerves.

Joss can dance. By God, Joss can dance. He moves like his spine is liquid, his hips and arms and throat entrancing Eli more than anything he’s ever seen. He ripples, his waist moving just so, his mouth the perfect shape, singing the words to every song. Eli can feel his heart falter, his fingers going numb, sure he’s going to drop his drink if he doesn’t put it down. If Joss doesn’t stop dancing, he’s not sure what he’ll do.

Joss doesn’t just dance, he attracts, people moving over like they’re in a trance. Eli is hooked on this boy on the dance floor.

In a moment of liquid confidence, Eli takes a step forward.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And then he places his hands on Joss’s waist, from behind, and Joss smiles up at him, and he’s so lost in that smile that his vision tunnels.

He can’t focus. Can’t compute. Can’t see anything but that radiant smile and Joss raising his hands up wrap around Eli’s neck, to hold Eli against him as he keeps dancing like he’s never felt sadness. Eli can’t be anywhere but here, with Joss. Joss, dancing on him, dirtier than anything he’s ever seen, more tantalizing, more lustful. Hotter than anything he’s ever seen. Better than anything he’s ever seen.

Joss is right there. His lips are right there, so inviting.

Joss turns around, and takes Eli’s shoulders. He shakes Eli to the beat, forcing motion into his frozen body.

“Have fun!” He’s laughing, with that wonderful mouth. Laughing at the world that hates him, in a room full of people he thinks are terrible.

What a wonderful person. Wonderful. Wonder-ful. Full of wonder.

Eli’s thoughts don’t seem to be obeying him any more. He doesn’t mind. Anything to keep Joss here, looking at him like he’s the light in Joss’s world.

Eli reaches one hand up, and brushes his fingers over Joss’s cheekbone. He doesn’t seem to care, so Eli cups his face, ever so softly. Joss’s skin is sun and snowflakes, warm to the touch and a little rough. He’s so far from perfect that it’s beautiful. Eli can’t hold his feelings inside, they’re spilling out all over the place. He feels like he’s on fire.

And so he leans in.

Their lips brush together so gently that Eli isn’t sure he didn’t imagine it. Eli presses a little harder, and Joss responds, flicking his tongue over Eli’s mouth. Eli gasps, trying his best to do anything that will keep Joss kissing him like this. Anything. He will do anything.

In a heartbeat, Joss tears himself away so quickly that he almost trips, and then he runs.

Nobody has noticed. The lights flicker, the music booms. Nobody knows him, and nobody knows that seconds ago he was flying higher than he ever has before.

But now, Eli is shattering, his lungs collapsing and his eyes burning, comprehension flickering through his brain like lightning in the middle of a storm.

Joss just kissed him.

Joss just kissed him, and then he ran away.

He ran away.