So hot, my body is burning. My body is scorching from the inside making it hard to breathe. It is as of my body demand something I can't have at the moment. I have to go get it. But what is it? My body is craving, requiring something sweet, thick and filling.

I force my eyes open as I look around to only discover that I am back in Nikolas' room once again. The only difference is that the man is sitting right next to the bed. Routinely, he would have been gone somewhere to take care of his company.

"How are you feeling?" he asks practically in a whisper, but my head is pondering just by that.

"Not... Good," I mutter out as my voice breaks since it is so dry that it feels like I have sand in my throat. "W-what's happening... To me?"

"To put it simply, you were in a situation near death and your body is trying to heal," Nikolas explains as I close my eyes hoping it will ease the throbbing.

This is when everything plays out in my head. I recall the fight in the arena, Elizabeth tied on a chair and Matthias gripping me tightly until... Nikolas pierced my body with his hand... Damn, so it wasn't a dream.

"You... Killed me..." I accuse weakly as I try to move my arm, so I can at least whack him.

"I didn't. Elizabeth did," he answers earnestly making me frown in confusion. "She forced my hand. I merely did what I had to do to start the mating process."

"You still put a hole in me," I repeat with a glare.

"It's not like I would have let you die. Not after all the troubles, I went through to claim you," he answers unaffected by the harsh treatment I have been giving him as he sits up from the bed to straddle me.

At the moment, I am too feeble to push him off, but it isn't like I have ever succeeded. I silently look at the man's face and for no reason, I feel my cheeks heat up. We only have been staring at each other, so why am I even blushing? For the first time, I lose in a staring contest and look away hoping that my cheeks will go back into a normal colour.

"What do you want?" I shyly mutter still looking at my pillow. I can't believe I am acting like this toward him.

"I want to complete our mating process," he huskily answers making my breath hitch.

"I-I am not feeling well... Maybe another time?" I ask as a rush of energy flows through me.

Therefore, I try to wiggle out of his grasp, but to prevent me from escaping, Nikolas tightens his grip on my waist with his legs. The gaze in his eyes is predatory, and he looks like a tiger ready to pounce. He never looked at me like this when he suggested completing the mating. He has always been considerate toward me even if he was insistent on it. He isn't scary, but I am frightened of the fact that I don't want to refuse him. Why is that?

Nikolas extends his hands toward me, and I close my eyes, too afraid to know what he may or rather, what I may do. When I feel him trail his fingers on my right cheek making me shiver with pleasure. When he does nothing else, I slowly open my eyes since it isn't what I have been expecting him to do. In fact, I don't want him to stop, but I will not admit it out loud.

"I am afraid that we can't wait," he smiles gently making me look at him in confusion. What is he talking about? Wait for what? "We have already started the mating, and we can only finish it. Since you have been out cold for two days, I am afraid that if we don't complete it soon, you will only get sicker."

"How... When did we... You are lying."

"I am not," he answers decisively. "You can feel my honesty since we are basically almost mated."

I am about to reply to his statement, but then I remember the speech Matthias has given me just before his duel with Elizabeth. He was right, I have been too insensitive and obstinate. I have never given the man a chance. But what if this relationship will end like the others? My family and the woman I think I loved all abandoned me. Will this man be different, or history will repeat itself?

"I can feel the turmoil going through you for a long time now. Tell me what's wrong?" Nikolas adds concerned making my heart skip a beat.

Shall I tell him? In fact, I don't see a reason why not, but somehow I feel guilty to burden him with something that sounds so trivial since it really isn't his problem. In the end, I am just afraid of being cast away when he has been living a privileged life since he was born. He will not understand me. How can he? But we will end up being mated to each other until death does us part. I have seen human couples fall apart because of the lack of communication and if Nikolas and I end up together, this is the last thing I will wish for. One day I will get used to his warmth and comfort and if he abandons me, I don't think I can get back up on my feet. But I have heard that vampires mated for life and a divorce has never been heard of. Maybe there is hope, maybe.

"I am worried about this mating thing," I admit, but Nikolas doesn't say anything as he nods as if inviting me to continue talking. "You have seen it when you peeked into my memories... I'm afraid of being left behind..." I mutter the last part since I have never really admitted to anyone. Eva knows about this because she is the only one that I trusted the most and she is still my best friend. We have no secret between each other.

"Being scared is an understanding after what you have lived through. To be honest, I can't say that I understand what you're feeling since I don't. But the thought of losing you when we are so already this close to link our soul and body together make me want to die," Nikolas admits causing me to look at him surprised since we both never talked our heart out. "I know that you are doubtful about all this and that I have forced you into all this, but being mated to someone is only something we can both understand when we are actually bonded to each other."

For once, this man sounds vulnerable. His eyes are pleading me to believe him when he tries to all though as if he has always needed to shield his genuine emotions from the outside world.

"You may not have any strong feeling toward me now and it is totally understandable since I can't say that I love you, but you aren't just anybody to me anymore. The mating bond won't make you magically love me, but you will feel a pull between us. And if..." the man pauses and seems to force himself to say the following words, "If you genuinely don't like me at all, you can walk out of my life. I won't force you to stay."

"Mating wasn't for life? Isn't it impossible to live without each other?" I ask since this is what I have heard.

Nikolas closes his eyes as he leans down to wrap his arms around my body with his nose in my neck. "There is always a way to break a bond," he whispers painfully but doesn't elaborate.

"Tell me... Please..."

"At the cost of one life, the other can be freed of all connections binding them together," he explains as he tightened his hold on me.

Somehow tears start to blurry my sight. How come this man is willing to throw his life away for me? There is no guarantee that I will love this man back, but he is still willing to risk it. He doesn't even ask anything in return. He is only hoping that we have a future together.

"Why are you willing to go so far for me?" I ask without my voice breaking into a sob.