There are a lot of strong figures in my life. Three of them stand out in my mind as Lone Heroes. 

My Mum is one of those people who can deal with any situation. Whether that's the mysteries of accounting, car crashes, flooding or sewing back together a prom dress because your boobs have grown she has your back.

My Nan taught me that it is fine to spend time alone. That if you prefer your own company then don't feel pressured to spend time with large groups. She also taught me not to settle for a cheating husband and that you can have a boyfriend who lives separately from you without ruining the relationship.

My Best friend who even though the world has thrown a heck tonne of chronic illnesses at her keeps working so hard to help others. Always is up for one more adventure because she is defined by what she does not by the illness.

They are my heroes. But I am not blind to their faults.

I have seen each of them time and again try to do every single thing in their lives alone. 

This evening my Mum rattled off a list of tasks she said she had to do. Washing up, Emails, get a load for the washing machine, clean some vases.... It was an overwhelming list that went on well past what I have written. But the thing about it was that I had offered to help and she ignored it. Even when help stared her in the face she ignored it. 

Because can anyone else really help?

My Nan is in her eighties and loves her independence. She loves it so much she lies about when she is feeling ill. She had heart palpitations a few days ago. Got whisked off to hospital all the while protesting that she was fine and she really needed to get home to feed her pets. My Aunt went and fed them just to reassure her.

Because her heart was less important than one late meal for a guinea pig?

I have held my Best friend as she broke down and told me how she felt like she couldn't keep going on. Watched her collapse after spending several days doing too many strenuous things to help her friends. 

Because who else would do it?

The strongest people I know seem to get this scary strength because they seem to live in a world where they are the only real person. They carry the whole weight of the world on their shoulders like some kind of RPG hero. But they haven't got some ancient sword and a magical destiny.

They just keep fighting until they collapse.

I try my best to help them. I keep an eye on how much my Best Friend pushes her physical activity. I talk with my Nan to see what is really going on. I take tasks from my Mum's long lists and do them even as she protests. 

Little things. Not big heroic tasks but little acts of kindness. Sometimes I suck ass at helping. Sometimes I have my own things I need help with. And because I emulate them a bit I have to fight natural instinct to get that help.

But hey we are not alone. None of us are. They have my back so I am going to keep pushing so they see I have their back too.