The library was in the exact center of the school. It had two floors and I heard that they were considering adding a third when next summer came.

We walked in and Xander’s face said everything. It wasn't as glorious as the towns library but it was an easy second.

“This place looks and feels... I don't know... ancient?” Xander said and my mood soared as he continued. “Could you imagine how many books are here? All the knowledge that's here? Wow.”

I laughed. “What class are you going to right now?”

“Computer Science. Your map says its upstairs second hall?”

“Yup, then it's the first room to your left. Mr. Kane.”

“Mah- thanks.” He went to leave only to stop and glance back to me. “We have P.E. after this so wait up for me?”

I blinked caught off guard. “Uh- sure. I mean yes! I'll wait by the door.”

He gave an over the shoulder wave and left.

“Why if it isn't Lumir Mark.” A familiar voice called.

Turning I saw my favorite teacher and the other half of my favorite couple right after my parents.

“Hi Mr. Rean is your husband in today?”

Lars laughed. “He's here somewhere.”

Lars Rean was about my height with midnight blue hair and dark copper eyes. The more kept together half of the Rean's.

“So how is your first day-”

Steven came around one of the towering bookcases.

Steven Rean was taller than his husband with fluffy strawberry blonde hair and pale blue eyes, where his husband had his buttoned shirt tucked Steven's was loose with the schools logo and jeans where Lars had dress pants.

His eyes widened upon seeing me.

“Oh! Lumir my favorite student comes to visit us old people after all.” He poked his husband with a teasing grin. “You owe me lunch.”

Steven and Lars were the schools librarians and I considered them my friends. Apparently they were students here once upon a time and after they met each other they settled in town and stayed helping the school.

“Ugh! Steven, I didn't even take the bet, I knew he'd come by.”

“Doesn't change anything.” Steven turned back to me squinting before gasping loudly. “Babe, look at his face!”

Lars came around the desk concerned. “What happened? Do you need the nurse? Steve, call Vi.”

I stepped back. “Guys it’s nothing-”

The library door came flying open and three voices immediately filled me with fear: M.A.D.

Thankfully I was hidden by a bookcase and quickly dropped to my hands and knees crawling around the front desk to hide under it.

Why were they here? Were they following me? Coming after me now that Xander was gone?

They came to the desk just as I hid myself.

Mindy spoke in a sickly sweet voice. “Excuse me, Mr. Rean’s, have either of you seen, Lumir Mark? I had a question on our homework.”

Steven nodded. “Yeah he came in here, I'm having him run an errand. You're free to ask me your question instead.”

Debbie made a noise between a sigh and a hiss, Amy mumbling something under her breath.

There was silence followed by the doors opening and closing. Lars and Steven waited a couple minutes before kneeling down next to me.

“Let me guess. That's them, the ones you never admit are hurting you? They did this?” Lars asked.

I pressed my hand over my racing heart.

Steven patted my knee making me glance up. “Lumir, you can talk to us. We want to help.”

“But…” I looked between them. They weren't that other teacher, they wouldn't tell Mindy what I told them. They were my friends and after this morning I knew I couldn't keep this hidden forever. With a heavy sigh I told them- told them everything.

When I was finished I was curled in a small ball wishing the bell would ring freeing me from their silence.

Was I gross? Did they think differently of me now? Were they blaming themselves?

“Lumir.”

I lifted my gaze and saw nothing but smiles and encouragement.

“Now don't get us wrong but have you told anyone else?” Steven asked softly.

“N-no. Though I think my family k-knows they're just waiting on me.”

Lars patted my shoulder. “Breathe, you're safe here.”

I tried, feeling lightheaded and trapped. I took a few deep breaths my heart calming.

“Better?”

My hands still shook. “Yeah. I'm sorry-”

“Don’t apologize. You've done nothing wrong.” Lars stated.

“But-”

“No buts.” Steven cut me off gently. “Lumir, there's nothing wrong. Nothing to be sorry for and definitely nothing wrong with you. So you like boys not girls- big whoop. We're all human, we're all entitled to what we need and the heart knows that better than anyone. Love is just plain love, remember that.” He ruffled my hair.

Lars nodded. “I agree. And though it was brave and sweet of you to let us be the first people. I think you need to talk with your family and your friends. About both of these topics.”

“But what if they're not okay with it? The second one I mean. What if they stop... I don't know loving me? Or what if they kick me out?”

The more I questioned it the more the thoughts grew out of control. I hugged my knees tighter. I didn't think my family was like that or Kamila nor Jamie. But hearing only negative feedback on liking the same gender wasn't exactly filling me with courage. And though they were my friends that doesn't mean they'd stick through this.

“Do you really think they would do that?” Came Steven's shaky response.

I looked up to see unshed tears in his eyes. Fudge cakes. Now I made him think about his parents.

My hand lifted hovering uselessly. “I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean-”

He shook his head as Lars held him close to his side he continued. “Do you think they would do that to you?”

“I don't think so.” I said but even I heard the uncertainty there.

“Then just talk to them. And if worse comes to worse…” Steven glanced up at Lars who nodded firmly. “Then you can stay with us.”

There was no way it would be that easy not with Dad being in his position. But it was a nice thought to hold on to. I sniffled suddenly too emotional. “That's... really nice of you guys. Thanks.”

They gave me a tight much needed hug just as the bell rang.

I rubbed at my eyes and gave them a small smile. “How do I look?”

“Truthfully?” Lars asked, I nodded. “You look tired as mess. But it's the last class of the day, so you have that working for you.”

We stood and with a final hug I turned to leave.

“Tell us if anything changes.” Steven called.

Agreeing I went to wait outside the library doors, head bowed to hide my tear stained face. My thoughts slowly going back to what I shared with them.

I just told someone my biggest secret. I said it.

I'm gay.

My heartbeat was a mile a second as I repeated the words, still trying to get used to how it sounded.

I haven't told anyone. Not my parents, Ellie or our friends. I was even trying to ignore it myself and that wasn't the easiest thing to do.

Pretend I liked some actress or if Dad wanted to talk about the birds and the bees I had to stop myself from asking him to change how he explained it, wanted to ask him if he knew about guys when it came to that category. Or when Mom asked me if I was taking a pretty girl to the school dances, I wanted to ask if I could go with a handsome guy instead. Though it don't stop me from still trying to be me, in the safety of my room or my mind where I could get used to this part of me, no matter how hard I fought it.

But every time I reached a milestone and felt a little courage to come out something always stilled my tongue.

What if they wanted nothing to do with me? What if they tried to change me? Even if they were great now, that didn't mean they had to put up with me. 

I've read enough sad stories online of how the perfect parents changed and hurt their kids. I didn't want that to happen to me-

A hand gripped my shoulder making me jump with a startlingly loud shriek.

“Whoa! Easy it's just me.” Xander's voice registering to my panicked mind. “Didn't you hear me call your name?” He blinked looking me over. “Hey are you alright? Your eyes are a bit red and your really pale. Did those girls come back?” He stood to his full daunting height looking around us with that same dark glare returning to his face. A few students jolted and sped past us.

“N-not really. The librarians hid me-” His eyes snapped down to my face. I clamped my mouth shut. “Never mind it's nothing, come on I really don't want to be late.”

Thankfully without pushing, Xander followed as we rushed to the gym making it before the teacher. There was a sign on the back wall that said to change if you brought clothes.

“Did you bring any clothes?” I asked as I dug in my bag.

“I have some, let's change before the teacher shows up.”

We made our way to the changing room walking to the back to my locker from last year, pleased to still see my name still on it.

“Xander, there's an empty locker over here by me.”

“Mahalo.”

Ma what low? I opened my mouth to ask what that word was and I was greeted by a scene that almost knocked me out on the spot.

Or at least it felt that way as Xander pulled his shirt over his head muscles flexing. Thankfully he had on an undershirt but still, unblemished tan skin greeted my poor unprepared eyes.

Then as if my heart wasn't enough my soul left my body. Singing praise to whatever god created Xander Wendell, as he slipped his jeans off to reveal black briefs and his long toned legs.

Shutting my eyes I turned away quickly changing into my sweatpants, leaving my hoodie alone as I tried to think very different- not Xander dressing behind me- thoughts.

The scientific names of flowers and baking ingredients echoed loudly as I chanted them to myself.

When Xander was done he stood up messing with his ears showing off wrap around earbuds, before pulling his hair back into a messy bun. 

I'm going to die!

He blinked down at me, a frown deepening. “Lumir, you should wet your face, it's swelling a little bit and it's really red.”

Oh if only he knew why.

He gratefully held my glasses as I wet my face, loving the feel of the cold water and the chance to kill my ever present blush.

I glanced up into the mirror and froze. Well that explained the staring. Dark blue bruises covered the left side of my face from my eyebrow down to my chin. My split lip was crusted with blood and- geez! I was going to have one massive shiner tomorrow. 

Maybe Kamila or Ellie could lend me their make-up to help me hide it. I also noticed that when I put my glasses back on they sat crooked on my nose.

Gently I touched my cheek flinching in pain. The twitch made me move too quickly, my side screaming out in protest at the sharp movements. I could only imagine what my body looked like to cause that reaction.

I debated lifting my shirt to check.

“I'm sorry.”

I glanced at Xander in the mirror as he stood behind me, watching closely.

“Wha-?”

He gestured to me with a surprisingly pained expression. “I should have gotten there sooner.”

I dried my hands. “It's- this isn't your fault-”

“I spotted you guys coming in this morning,” He jumped in. “and I was going to thank you for the flowers but I lost track of you with the other students but then your sister came and…”

“Xander, this isn't your fault. I'm just glad you showed up at all. So thanks.” I said giving him a smile.

He relaxed somewhat and we left entering the gym to see Jamie sitting at the bleachers.

“Hey, Jamie.” I called as we got closer.

He looked up and grinned. “Guys, am I glad to see some friendly faces.” He said pulling us both into a hug.

Xander tensed. “Why, tough day?” Xander asked trying to hide his flushed face.

Was he shocked by the hug? Embarrassed?

“They're here.” Jamie summed up.

Xander and I turned where he nodded and my heart met the floor as I saw both Mindy and Amy sitting by the door. And almost as if called Mindy's eyes met mine before she smiled crulley, nudging Amy gesturing to me. They grinned.

I let out a groan falling into the spot next to Jamie “Is it too late to change my schedule?”

Jamie patted my back. “You know how the school is. Unless your parents or the principal says otherwise you're stuck.”

It also meant telling my parents that a group of girls were beating me up.

Coach Hollow came a few minutes later telling us to do some stretches.

Coach Hollow, was an odd teacher. His expression never matched his voice but he was a cool guy, and looked comfortable in his tracksuit.

My gaze trailed back over to Mindy with a shudder when I noticed her staring, then over to Xander with an internal sigh as he stretched his arms above his head making his shirt lift to reveal a sliver of tanned skin.

I bowed my head just stopping myself from bashing to the floor. I wasn't going to last the year!