I had some fun with Martha today, she managed to cheer me up.

But while doing all these funny things with her, I realized I didn't truly want to choose which book to burn, so my mood kind of went down again.

After watching a movie togheter, I got home.

"I'm home." - I said, even if nobody was there.

I put down the shoppers and went in the kitchen to get a glass of water.

I really felt like I couldn't do it.

I needed time to think...it wasn't an easy choice.

There's something I learned from showbiz, though.

"Enough." - I uttered.

The best moment to act is when you don't know what to do.

I put down the glass, and went straight ahead to my room, with the books in the shopper and a lighter.

I put both of them on my desk and closely analyzed them, as if the right choice was written on their cover. In that circumstance I thought how I met both of them.

I met Martha through showbiz, while casting for a secondary role in a popular prime time soap opera. I got the role, but she really did give her best there. I honestly thought she would have been a better fit. 

She cried, cried and cried. I just couldn't stand that atmosphere.

I was like her at the start, people didn't give me roles just because I was "Vera" at the time. You had to do everything you could to get a role. Defeat wasn't a choice.

I tried to get near her, I wanted her to feel a little better.

Most people would think I was just boasting myself in front of her, but she didn't. She was glad I talked with her.

She still has a lot to learn, but she's quite special. I really wish her the best.

"Then…"

Then there's Cel.

We met a couple of months ago...or maybe a little more? I don't quite remember...we were discussing about a new series...she's a scriptwriter...we crossed paths in other sets too...

I sighed.

"I just can't decide, can I?"

I lied on the bed, and slowly turned my head to the window. There, a light was waiting for me.

"Vera, are you feeling tired?" - He said with a calm but kind of worried voice.

I had an idea. A brilliant one: I can make someone else choose for me.

"Hey,AlDon."

A beep could be heard throughout the room.

"Welcome home, Vera! What can I do for you?"

Blue lights spinning on the surface, he was waiting for the question: Martha or Cel?

"Head or Tails?" - I asked to my assistant.

The lights were spinning faster.

"Sure, I'm about to give you the answer."

"The answer is…"

"...Martha."

"Wait...what did you say?"

"I said Head."

After a couple of seconds of pure silence, I slowly got up from the bed and took the lighter on one hand and Martha's book in the other. I was kind of amazed by how calm I was. I didn't feel nervous, and my hands weren't shaking in the slightest. Pages started to burn little by little. Then more. After a couple of minutes, there was nothing left but ashes.

I was exhausted. I was also feeling some kind of regret.

I wanted to call Martha...just to see if everything was okay. But I didn't bother in the end. I just lied on the bed and slept blissfully.