Me and my family went to my big sister's house to have Thanksgiving dinner she didn't tell me that her husband's brother is going to be there I just wish you would have gave me a warning she knows I'm not comfortable around people I don't know that well but yet she didn't tell me but I don't want to feel like a burden when I was eating she told me I look like I was going to throw up and I can't help that because when I eat around people I don't know very well my throat instantly closes up and it feels like it becomes hard to swallow I feel uncomfortable my whole body feels tense I don't know what to do it's not just something that I can control but for my sister to tell me oh you can just leave after you finish eating it hurt me because you telling me to just leave a situation that gives me anxiety is you telling me give up listen to what your anxiety is telling you and just go hide away I don't want to do that anymore I've done that enough so I decided you know what I'm not going to listen to you so I went and talk to his brother we had a nice conversation we had a lot of things in common so why was I so afraid I don't know I was fine until I got home and I and I let my anxiety tell me well you shouldn't have said that should I said that I don't know I doubt myself I don't want to let get my anxiety get to me I don't want to listen to anxiety I don't want to let it tell me he's probably judging you know he probably thinks you're stupid did I talk to much did I make it weird did I make it awkward he probably got the wrong idea I don't want to think that I don't want to feel that way but right now I just don't know how to control it so yeah it was a struggle but I got through it
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