Adria hefts my backpack like it weighs nothing at all, her wiry musculature belying her strength.
As we walk to my room, my thoughts race. My parents are at the office, and her sister isn't around to hear us. No one will disturb us when I tell her how I feel.
After Adria sets down the bag next to my oak desk, she pulls back the covers from my bed. A strange tightness spreads across my stomach when she gestures for me to get in.
"There you go," she says. "You need to rest."
I don't move towards the bed. Even after I clear my throat, my voice comes out like a squeaky mouse. "Adria?"
"Yes?"
"This might be the fever talking," I say, stumbling through the words before I lose my nerve. "But...I—I like you."
She blinks once. Twice. Three times. As though my words don't compute.
"I like you, too, Valerie," she replies in that sweet voice of hers. Her smile shines down on me like the gentle autumn sun. "We're best friends."
"No, Adria, you don't understand. I like you."
"Define like."
Her voice isn't harsh or judgmental. It's inquisitive. As though she's trying to understand. Adria has always been slightly stilted and odd, but that's one of the quirks I love about her.
Adria readjusts her glasses, pushing them up higher on the bridge of her patrician nose. She smiles at me, which gives me the courage I need.
"As in...more than...friends," I reply.
She cocks her head and gives my words careful thought. My heart thuds against my ribs.
Say something, Adria. Anything.
Adria gives me the reply I least expect. "That breaks the parameters of this society."
My eyes widen. "What? That's all you have to say? I..."
She blinks again. "I'm not made that way."
I bite back the anger and embarrassment that builds inside me. Adria has flirted with me. I know it. She has to feel something. No casual friend acts that way, do they?
"I don't understand."
"I'm not made that way, Valerie."
"I heard you the first time!" Beads of sweat break out on my forehead. "Look, I'm sorry. Just please don't tell anyone about this. They would throw me in jail."
She brushes a stray bit of hair out of my face after I've buried myself under the pristine white covers. I turn my head aside so that she doesn't see me blush.
"Your secret is safe with me," she says.
"Thanks, Adi."
"Do you need a cup of tea or a bite to eat before I go?" she asks, her voice strained.
"No, thanks." I turn to face her again. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
I stare at her, incredulous. Adria is odd at the best of times, but this behavior is weirder than normal. "Look, don't freak out, okay? We can still be best friends."
"Don't worry, Valerie." She looks at her watch and bites her lower lip. "I have to go."
Little do I know that her words mean something more permanent. Despite her promise to remain my friend, I never see her again until graduation. When I go to congratulate her, she runs off without even saying goodbye.
Love hurts.
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