The two walk back to their desks and Greg drops into his seat with a bloated groan. Andy leans against the thin wall and crosses his leg in an attempt to look slick. “What time is the party?”

Greg swivels around and taps at his computer for a moment to check his calendar. “It’s at four. It’s only one right now though, so you might as well try and get some more work done.” 

Andy makes a click from the side of his mouth. “I don’t know what else to do. I called them all and I don’t know if any of them needed anything else done.”

Greg uses one of his left arms to hold up one of his own various files. “If they had any ongoing requests, it should be in their file. If you don’t know what it is, look it up in the database. If you need anything else: just ask me. But try not to.” Greg chuckles and Andy rolls his eyes as he steps back into his cubicle.

He starts reading through his files once again, this time being more careful and checking each page. He sees past complaints and pay stubs, current requests and maintenance, and… “Hey, Greg! Check this out!” He springs up and leans over his desk to look at Greg. He turns the file in his hand around and holds it out. “This dude died from having a prostitute sit on his face! How am I supposed to meet him knowing this? It’s hilarious.”

Greg glances at the file and scoffs. “That’s nothing. I have a girl who had an asthma attack from singing ABBA too energetically.”

“That’s kinda sad though…” Andy looked a little torn up.

“She was thirty-five.” Greg looks up at Andy with a smile and watches his expression shift into one of amused shock.

“What?! Thirty-five? Damn, never mind, that's just sad.” Greg nods. Andy drops his file back onto the desk. “Now I have to top that.”

Greg switches to his bottom hands to type and places his top hands behind his head. “No chance. That wasn’t even my worst one.”

Andy lets his jaw hit the floor. “How?”

“Andy, you humans are really stupid. You’d be shocked how many stupid deaths there are. Speaking of: how’d you die?”

Andy stops and looks up at the ceiling and licks the back of his teeth. “I… I actually don’t know. It never came up.” The two stare at each other in realization. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

Greg sits up and prepares to push himself out of his chair. “You want to go see Becky and find out what your file says?” The two grow coy grins. Greg hops out of his chair and the two practically run to the elevator. Once inside, Greg looks at his human companion. “You sure about this though? What if it’s really embarrassing?”

“Knowing me, it’s a fifty-fifty shot of it being really stupid. I have to know. I’m not gonna let this weigh on me for eternity!” Andy turns and grabs the demon’s tie in a dramatic gesture of desperation. “I must know, Greg!”

Andy lets go and starts chuckling. Greg starts up too. “You probably died in the most boring way possible. Choking on bran or something.” Andy makes a disgusted wince while maintaining his smile. Greg throws his voice to make himself sound official, “Andrew Redfield, deceased Tuesday the 12th at 7:25 PM. Cause of death: choking on bran cereal while wearing all khaki.”

“Is 7:25 PM the most boring time you can think of?” Andy scoffs out.

Greg drops the accent. “Yeah, what do you think is the most boring time?”

Andy clicks his tongue several times and inhales through his teeth. “1:17.”

Greg thinks it over and agrees. “1:17 is more boring.” The doors slide open and the two walk over to Becky’s desk. Greg knocks on the cubicle wall. 

The demon girl turns around in surprise and gets a huge smile. “Greg! Ah! And Andy, too? This is so amazing! Why are you two down here?”

Greg speaks up first. “First off, what’s a more boring time: 1:17 or 7:25?”

Becky raises an eyebrow and Andy tries to save face. “Greg, why are you asking-”

However, Becky seemed more intrigued than Andy could’ve possibly expected. “Well is it 7:25 AM or PM?” Andy is dumbfounded.

Greg smiles and slaps Greg’s chest with his two left arms. “PM.”

Becky scrunches her nose and puckers her lips in consideration. “1:17 then.” Andy lets out a single, loud ‘ha!’ Her smile returns as sweet and innocent as before. “Did you two come down thirteen floors just to ask what was a more boring time of the day?” 

Andy takes the initiative this time. “No, we were wondering if we could take a look at my file. I never found out how I died and wanted to see what happened.”

She smiles wide and looks sweet enough to rot your teeth. “Sure! Usually, humans aren’t allowed to look at their files but… since you work here, I’ll make an exception.” She turns around and digs through her filing cabinet while Greg and Andy smile at each other with arms out wide in surprise. “Here you go! Little morbid wanting to see how you died but I get it.”

Becky hands the file to Andy who opens it up. Greg tries to read over his shoulder but Andy is quick to protect it and backs off. “My file, my eyes first.” Greg grumbles to himself. Andy runs his finger along the first page, it feels strange to read his own personal information on a sheet like this. “Huh, weird.” Becky and Greg both look at him with intrigue. “This says I died saving a little girl from a car. It was gonna hit her but I jumped in the way. That’s…”

“So heroic!” Becky jumps up and grabs his arm. “You saved a little girl! That’s so brave!”

“Damn. I was hoping for auto-erotic asphyxiation.” Andy scowls at Greg who’s grinning from ear to ear - or would be had he had any ears or a mouth capable of grinning that wide. “Wait! What time did it happen?”

Andy looks back down at the page for a moment. “Ha! 1:22! Safe by a whole five minutes!” Greg stomps his foot in disappointment. “It’s just really weird. I’m kinda glad I did it but it’s, admittedly, out of character for me.”

Becky snatches the file from Andy with a reassuring smirk. “The important thing is that you did it. That means it’s entirely in character for you!” She drops the file on her desk and puts her hands on her hips. “Is that all you two wanted? And what even got you two thinking about that?”

Greg mirrors Becky with his bottom set of hands and uses his top right to scratch his head. “Andy read his first weird death in his files. We were comparing and wondering what his was.”

Becky bites her lip and her eyes light up brighter than the sun. “Oh! I just got a new case that’s gonna top anything you two have seen.” Both men shake their heads dismissively, causing Becky to treat it as a challenge. “Don’t believe me? Check this out.” She reaches back in her filing cabinet and hands the guys an extremely thin file.

Greg holds it out and opens it for both of them to see. Immediately, both of their faces twist into disgusted and appalled expressions. Greg uses one of his extra hands to cover his mouth as Andy tries not to puke. Greg was first to speak: “He stuck what?! In that?!”

“How did that even fit?” Andy concurred.

“Well, clearly it didn’t!” Greg replied.

“Why would anyone try this?” Andy felt sick.

“I told you. Humans are fucking weird.” Greg passed the file back to the grinning Becky.

“And you know what the worst part is?” Greg and Andy stare at her, confused as to how it could get any worse. “I have to put that back in his new apartment.” Both men sigh in sympathy. “Yep, and there’s way more than that.”

“Alright!” Andy smacked the top of the cubicle. “Time to go back to work! Thanks for the file Becky! Let’s promise to never discuss this again!” He forces a massive smile and starts to walk away. Greg shrugs all four shoulders and waves goodbye to the laughing demon.

“I’ll see you two at the party!” She calls after them.