“Everything in my life feels like a mirage.”
The smiles that greeted and shaped his childhood was a façade. The caring whispers of comfort and lullabies were all lies. Their stories when he was a child were created by their imaginary minds. The things that he had always believed in were words built only to appease a certain child’s curiosity.
He had lived his life in a lie; and, when he finally learned the truth, it was the first time that he wanted to embrace death.
Deceit was like the Rhodopis of human nature; essential to our humanity but disowned by its perpetrators at every turn. He had been living with it most of his life. Now, he could never erase his impression of it. Their evil hiding behind their sweet smiles was deeply hidden so that a naïve child would never see. Now, their maliciousness would never be veiled by sweet words and solemn expressions.
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As the sound of the opening door drifted to his ears, Konrad’s voice roused his eyes to open.
“Leos?” His finger twitched at the casualness of his tone. The longer they spend their time together, Leos noticed the little quirks and uniqueness in this man named Konrad. There were times that he sounded casual and comfortable, while sometimes he sounded indifferent and distant.
Konrad’s eyes slightly widened at the sight that welcomed him. After three days, Leos recovered and started moving around. Leos’ pants filled the room as he swung his arms and thrusted forward “Do you mind? I can’t stay still, I needed to move.”
“No.” Konrad trailed off. His voice engraved in Leos’ head. It had a soft and resounding emotion swirled into, determination. “What happened to your hair?”
“I chopped them off. They grow fast,” Leos said. He stretched his clasped hands in front of him like holding a sword. Then, stepped forward before thrusting and swinging at an invisible enemy. He didn’t like the inconvenience that his long hair caused. They grew fast and thick. It hindered his movements. He regularly chopped them until the strands laid straight against his nape.
“After breakfast, we’re leaving,” Konrad murmured taking advantage of the fact that he seemed to be focused on another thing. Leos could feel his eyes tracing the new appearance that his short hair gave him. The short strands stood on his head, touching the back of his neck and ears. And, accentuating his chiselled features greatly.
Leos’ eyes narrowed on the floor when he felt searing eyes. Every now and then, he sometimes observed that Konrad had a habit of staring at him. What he didn’t know was if it was from genuine caution and curiosity or…
He grips his imaginary sword and thrusts, imagining it stabbing a man’s chest. “Don’t think about those kinds of things, Leos. I wouldn’t be tormented by that bastard’s words again. I will never look at a man with that purpose again, especially not Konrad,” he uttered under his breath.
“Should you decide for whatever business you might have, you could leave. I did agree with our deal. However, be certain that you’ll leave a way for me to reach you. I-,” Konrad continued, after seeing that he didn’t reply.
“No, I’ll stay here,” Konrad narrowed his eyes at his back, before nodding. He waited if Leos had anything more to say until he walked towards the door.
“Konrad.” Leos observed his back, straightening.
“For someone named Konrad, your name doesn’t quite suit you,” the words stumbled out of his mouth. When he saw Klerien reaching for the door, he felt a knock on his throat. He wanted to blurt out, anything, to stop him from leaving. At first, he thought that Konrad will say something, but he only rewarded him a soft chuckle before stepping outside.
Leos stopped waving his arms and sat on the edge of the cot. Konrad was not the only one changing from their interactions, he observed. He sighed, lifting his head to glare at the place where Konrad stood on moments ago. Leos wondered if he could really trust the man.
“What if this was one of his plots?” he thought to himself. He groaned, falling into the cot with his hands gripping his cropped hair. He suddenly wanted to cut something that connects himself to him.
Leos didn’t have any time to spare, despite the words that he uttered. Something big was about to happen. He would personally see to it. However, for now, he needed to be further discreet. That bastard certainly learned about his involvement. And, he was not a forgiving man to those that betrayed him, especially to those that are close to him, like Leos. Leos needed to hide. The only miscalculation in his plans was Konrad’s involvement. After striking that deal, it sealed the man’s fate.
The silence and solitude of being in the middle of the forest reached his ears. The darkness in him, slowly embraced the absence of conflict. The catastrophe that was him carefully trodden through the care that Konrad gave him.
He should be sorry for using Konrad. However, he couldn’t afford to be caught in sympathy or pity. It was Konrad’s fault for easily accepting his terms. It was his fault for deceiving Konrad. The deceit from his childhood already clung to his whole being. It would never be washed away from him.
That man was already aware of his moves. It will be a disaster if they further learned his intents. For all he knows, they might think that this was merely am immature rebellion. What they do not know was Leos dedicated himself for this.
“I apologize that I lack remorse, Konrad,” he murmured out loud inside the empty room. His eyes staring at the ceiling, his back against the cot, with both hands clenched into fists.
“Do you remember that man?”
“Yes, father. He was rather unpleasant. I hate his smiles.”
“Well, yes, me too. I’m glad that our minds met with this one. I believe that man would be a problem in my plans. I want you to get close to him. He has a family, you can start with that if you want. I don’t think that this man would be an easy target, but I trust you. You’re my son after all.”
“Indeed, father.”
“Remember, a person can achieve anything through deceit. However, to achieve the act of being deceitful, lose your remorse.”
“I already lost it years ago. Rest assured.”
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“What are your favourite places in town?” Konrad asked. Leos raised an eyebrow in surprise. They walked beside each other through the throng of the marketplace in Hemlock. The bright sun shone, creating an almost dry and hot paved road. The dry and hot weather was most unusual as the winter solstice approaches the town. The chatters and buzzing of the crowd filled the busy market.
“The brothel at the outskirts.” He bluntly answered observing his reaction. “They provide entertainment and they don’t choose. Some people in town are too righteous and hypocrites. If you wanted to know if I lived here, you should directly ask. I thought you’re straightforward.”
Konrad scoffed. Leos inwardly grinned. He just wanted to break the silence. Even though they’re in the middle of a crowded place, he could feel the dead silence between them. It was uncomfortable. He didn’t expect that Konrad would ask further. “You’re a frequent customer?”
“Mhhhmm... Not the brothel here in town. I only visit every now and then, I prefer the brothel in the next town. I’m not that fond of meeting the men and woman that I spent my nights with in broad daylight.” Leos shrugged.
“Men?” Konrad blinked. Mouth wide open as he halted. Leos pursed his lips to supress a grin. “You slept with men?”
Leos cackled, displaying a wide grin. The shorter man touched the base of his neck as Leos turned away to cover his mouth while holding his side. “What’s so amusing?”
“Why?” Leos formed a tentative smile. “Are you disgusted? You should be ecstatic. The man you suspected to be a murderer sleeps with men, a mad man!”
Klerien gritted his teeth. “I don’t see anything wrong with it. I was merely surprised. I haven’t had the opportunity to meet men like that. I have heard of them, though.”
“Oh.” Leos’ head turned to the side. He crossed his arms as the shorter man coughed. “Then, did you ever visit brothels?”
“One time.” Konrad murmured, giving a sidelong glance while keeping his head still. Leos didn’t saw a trace of lie in his green eyes. He nodded. “We never associated ourselves with the town. My father often comes to town, but we liked to stay in the woods. Nowadays, nothing would shock me more than...”
They reverted to ignoring each other as he trailed off. As they walked, he noticed a family of four, strolling with smiles. They were laughing and smiling with each other without a care in the world. Leos noticed that Konrad seemed to curiously watch them.
Leos’ jaw tightened and harshly squinted at the sight. There was an ugly twist on his mouth like he tasted something bad. “What is it?” Leos murmured under his breath. Konrad jumped before turning his head, causing a sudden pain at his neck. His hands reached for the painful spot on his nape. He pressed his lips flat.
“Nothing.” He sighed.
Leos gestured at the family behind them. “You’ve been asking if I have a family. How about you?”
Konrad glanced at him. Leos returned his gaze. The spitfire greatly amused him. Sometime, he would forget who he is whenever those vibrant emerald orbs intently stared into his eyes. Leos grimaced, his arms, shoulders, and face tensed. He shouldn’t be thinking about those kinds of things.
“Leos, we should hurry.” He shrugged before matching the fast pace of Konrad’s strides.
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“Where are we?” Half an hour later, after exiting the marketplace, Konrad led him towards their destination; the former house of the Stumpps. He glanced at the stiff man as they stood in front of a small cabin beside the entrance of the forest. It was a delipidated house. A part of its roof was caving in, and the door was broken down by swings of an axe.
“The house of the latest victim of the werwulf trials, Reiner Stumpp.” He murmured, casually reaching for the door. Leos stood, surprised at Konrad’s action. He watched as Konrad easily opened the door before gesturing for him to come inside.
“What are we doing here?” Konrad ignored his question and started looking around the place. It portrayed an image of a normal house for a family of three. The former cosiness and warmth were retained, and it made him remember his buried memories.
“I’ll look around inside the house. You could search for anything at the stable.” Klerien absently murmured. Leos pursed his lips, before going outside.
Stop thinking too much. Do not further involve yourself. That moment at the market was enough for your curiosity. Leos admits that he suddenly felt another urge concerning his newly acquired acquaintance. He was curious to see his laugh after seeing other people happily strolling down the market. Again, he could not control the words coming out of his mouth.
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