“These dungeons aren’t that bad, really,” said Ron, munching on a sweet roll. He had chosen one of the lemon custard ones. Harry’d had one with chocolate and cherry filling, as had Neville and Ginny. Luna had taken one of both. Hermione was too wound up to eat. Hagrid was still working on finishing up the rest of the platter. There was also milk and cream, fruit juice (Harry couldn’t figure out what fruit it was — a mix of mango / strawberry / kiwi maybe?), sausages, eggs, and some kind of fried bread.

What with the full continental breakfast, the ample seating (three simple couches that were really quite comfortable), the brightly painted wood paneled walls, and the large windows that allowed a wonderful view of the city and the Nonestic Ocean beyond it, they probably wouldn’t have known they were in a dungeon at all, if the guard captain had not shouted “Here is the dungeon! Here you will stay until the King, in his mercy, grants you an audience and judges your punishment!” and pushed them in roughly.

They had naturally immediately tried to find a way out. There was no means of illuminating the room (all their wands had been taken) but the large window let in plenty of moon and starlight, and the city of Gilgad spread out below them was aglow with golden lights, and the very ocean itself seemed to be faintly luminescent.

“If we had our broomsticks,” said Hermione, “we could open this window and fly out.”

“They took my motorcycle, too,” said Hagrid. “I had it shrunk down in my pocket, but they rifled through everything and took it away.”

So there was no way out, except the brightly painted large thick locked and bolted door, which appeared to be sealed by magic as well, for it could not be opened, even by the elves.

It had been clear that nothing more was going to happen until morning, so they talked together in low voices, trying to figure out what was going on, and to make some kind of plan. Ungitink could think of no reason he’d been accused of treason. It was true that he hadn’t been entirely forthcoming with the King about the nature of his mission, but that wasn’t treason.

“Maybe he found out about it,” said Ron. “And maybe he doesn’t want you to save the Queen. Maybe he thinks saving the Queen is treason. I mean, suppose he got struck squib accidentally? He could be pretty upset, I’d imagine.”

Ungitink looked horrified. “The King could never be struck squib, surely! He is not a human wizard. He is a fairy, like Ungitink.”

“He’s a house elf?” asked Harry.

“No, no. Elves are a kind of fairy, but not all fairies are elves. There are many other kinds of fairies.”

“And there are no fairy squibs?” asked Luna. “No house elves are ever born without magic?”

“Not that Ungitink ever heard of,” said Ungitink. Luna looked over at the other house elves, and they nodded as well.

“That’s very curious,” said Luna. “I wonder why that is?”

“Whether or not fairies can be born squibs is a separate issue from whether the King might lose his magic,” said Hermione. “If elves are stealing magic from people, they might be stealing from both human wizards and other magical creatures.”

Ungitink looked horrified. “Surely not!”

“Anyway,” sighed Hermione, “what is the King likely to do with us?”

Ungitink shook his head. “This must be some misunderstanding,” he said. “The King is quick to anger, however, and he may dispense some terrible punishment on us. Already he has cast us into this terrible dungeon.”

Harry and Ron exchanged glances. If the terrible punishment was much like this terrible dungeon, it might be something they could put up with.

Eventually they spread out on the couches and tried to get a bit more sleep. It was extremely difficult, however, because their bodies were still on London time. If they’d had their wands they could have gotten to sleep with magic, but as it was they tossed and turned and were finally starting to feel a bit tired when dawn began to light the roofs of the houses below.

When breakfast was delivered, with all its cakes and pastries and treats, Harry and Ron began to be quite certain that the King’s wrath would be nothing much to worry about. They were even more certain when the King himself arrived.

He was a round, fat man, wearing pajamas just like his subjects (although his had no polka dots; it was just a solid bright red from his neck to his high black boots). He had no beard or other hair, except a thin rim of white hair around his head. His expression was full of concern. He was not walking — indeed, he was so fat and round, and his legs so short and stubby, that it was clear that walking would be uncomfortable for him. Instead he rode an adorable little white donkey with pink eyes and a pink ribbon tied into its silver mane.

When the King’s attendants opened the door and ushered him in, he rode his little donkey right into the room.

“Oh my!” said the King. “Oh my goodness! This is terrible, it really is. I am really quite distraught. And Rodbag is too, aren’t you Rodbag?” This he addressed to the donkey, who did not look distraught, but was looking rather bored and munching contentedly on half a carrot. “I cannot believe that my dear trusted Ungitink has fallen to this low level, I really can’t. Filigol, bring me one of those pastries, if you would; I need to calm my nerves.”

“Certainly, my King,” said one of his attendants, a tall thin one with a sharp nose and black and gold polka dotted pajamas. He brought him one of the pastries Hagrid hadn’t consumed yet.

“Your majesty,” said Ungitink, “this has all been a terrible mistake. Ungitink has committed no crime, your majesty. No treason.”

“Treason!” cried the King. “Treason! You’ve been accused of treason, too? My goodness! Filigol, why didn’t you tell me?”

“We did tell you, your majesty,” said Filigol, bowing. “Last night, when you had your evening snack.”

“Oh, perhaps so,” said the King. “But Filigol, you know I can never concentrate on much during my evening snack. I thought he was just accused of the theft.”

“The theft of what, your majesty?” asked Filigol.

“Why, my hot water bottle cover,” said the King. “The special one knitted by my friend, Queen Zixi of Ix.” He turned to the wizards. “She really is a great sorceress, you know,” he said, as if he were sharing a delightful secret between friends. “And a wonderful knitter. She also knitted me a blanket, it is wonderfully soft and is enchanted to always give pleasant dreams to someone sleeping under it.”

“Your majesty must have wonderful dreams every night,” said Hermione. She looked as though she was trying hard not to laugh.

“Oh, dear me, no!” said the King. “I mean, I sleep perfectly well, I have nothing to complain of, my dear. No, it would be selfish to keep such a wonderful thing to myself. I lend it out every night to one of the children in my kingdom, whichever one has been having difficult dreams. — But the hot water bottle cover! It isn’t magical, so far as I know, but it does keep my hot water bottle nice and warm, and it has a pleasant red and white pattern that goes well with my royal pajamas. Ungitink, why would you steal such a thing?”

“Ungitink did not, your majesty,” protested Ungitink.

“He did not, your majesty,” agreed Filigol. “It was lost under your bed yesterday evening, if you remember. We discovered it just after your snack.”

“Oh, so we did, so we did!” cried the King. “Oh, I’m so glad. I was so worried, you know. All during my snack I kept reaching for it, you know, because it sometimes does get chilly at night, and I always keep it right there by my chair by the fire, but — “

“Your majesty,” said Filigol, sounding a bit exasperated, “Ungitink traveled a few days ago to the Forest of Burzee, to visit with the other elves there, or so he said. When he came back, he refused to answer questions about it and I thought he looked rather… evasive. Then he disappeared. I feared he might be plotting against your life, your majesty; so I ordered that if anyone found him, he should be brought in on suspicion of treason. Then, yesterday evening, Ungitink and these other elves and humans appeared without warning in the middle of Gilgad Square, armed with wands and broomsticks. The people called the guard immediately, and they were taken here and thrown in the dungeon.”

“Excellent!” said the King. “Thank you, Filigol, you have explained it all very clearly. I congratulate you. And the guards acted very well in acting so promptly and efficiently in the face of great danger, for it seems clear that all of these elves and humans could be quite frightening, if they were intent on invasion.”

“But your majesty, we assure you —“ began Ungitink.

“Please, my good elf,” said the King, his eyebrows knotting into a slight frown, “do not interrupt! It is quite rude.”

“A thousand pardons, your majesty,” said Ungitink, bowing.

“There’s a good fellow. — And it is also quite clear to me that the people in the square, my most excellent subjects, did very well in raising the alarm and calling for the guards. For you had warned them, had you not, Filigol, that Ungitink was a traitor? And strangers suddenly appearing somewhere, armed, as you say, with wands, could be quite unsettling. Yes, my most excellent subjects did very well. In fact, let us have a holiday tomorrow, to thank them, and celebrate how well everyone has acted in this situation.”

“Thank you, your majesty,” said Filigol, bowing. “I shall put out the order.”

“Everyone except you, Filigol,” said the King, frowning at him and crossing his arms. “I have always said, Filigol, that you are always seeing plots and conspiracies against me when you have no cause to, and now you have accused a perfectly innocent elf of treason! It is quite clear that Ungitink was not plotting anything. He simply went to the Forest of Burzee to see his relatives about some private matter, and now he has returned with friends to help him attend to that. Isn’t that right, Ungitink?”

“Yes, yes, your majesty!” cried Ungitink with relief. “Yes, I was going to see my friends and relatives because — “

“Again, good Ungitink,” said the King, frowning, “please do not interrupt! I did ask you a question, that is fair enough, but it was only a yes or no question, I did not need further explanation! In any case this matter of yours is clearly private and is really none of our business. I must insist you tell me nothing of it. — In any case, Filigol, I have to say, in general you are an excellent First Minister and you take care of things for me exceedingly well, but this matter of paranoia, of seeing plots and schemes and conspiracies everywhere, it really is bothersome. Why, just last week you accused the poor cook of trying to poison me!”

“Your majesty’s birthday cake tasted of old boots, your majesty!” protested Filigol.

“Oh, I grant you that,” said the King. “It is true, she is a terrible cook. But it was not poisoned, my dear man. Just inedible.”

“Yes, your majesty,” said Filigol, bowing. “I apologize, your majesty.”

“Oh, it is all right,” said the King. “You do your best, I know that. But you really should apologize to these poor people, who have been kept here against their will all night.” He turned to them all. “I hope you were not too uncomfortable? I really am very embarrassed.”

“Um, we were fine, your majesty,” said Hermione. “In fact I think this is probably the nicest dungeon we have ever been in.”

“My goodness!” said the King. “Well, that really is delightful to hear. Isn’t she nice, Filigol? So polite. You know, now that I look at you all more closely,” said the King, squinting at them and looking from one to another, “you really are a remarkable collection of people. Ungitink and Kelebrink I know, of course, but these other elves I do not recognize, and they really are dressed rather strangely, don’t you think, Filigol? And these mortals! I have only met one or two humans in my time, but it is always a pleasure, always a pleasure. And you, sir, are you a giant?”

This last question was of course addressed to Hagrid, who had been trying to disappear into the shadows in the corner of the room. He cleared his throat and looked embarrassed.

“No, sire, your majesty, sire,” he mumbled in his booming voice. “I’m just, well, I’m just, I’m a teacher, sire, I teach Care of Magical Creatures at the school.”

“I see!” said the King. “Teaching is one of the noblest of professions, I believe. Well, again, I must apologize for holding you here against your will, but I wonder if you’d be so kind as to join me for brunch? It would be wonderful to hear whatever stories of yourselves you’re willing to tell. I have a delightful kingdom, as I’m sure you can see, with all my people quite happy and prosperous, but if it has a fault it is just frightfully boring sometimes. Why, once I ran away, can you believe that? It was so boring I simply ran away to have adventures. Wonderful adventures! My people came and found me and brought me back, of course, and they were quite right to do so, a King can’t simply run away any time he likes. Still, they were wonderful adventures. What was I saying?”

“I shall arrange the prisoners to have brunch with your majesty,” said Faligol, bowing.

“Brunch! Yes! But they are not prisoners, Faligol, they are my guests. Get that through your head. They are free to have brunch with me or not, it’s entirely up to them. Come, Rodbag.” And with that the King gently turned his donkey around and rode it out of the room.

Faligol bowed to them. “I do apologize,” he said. “I hope you are not too angry? I will have your wands and broomsticks and other items returned to you immediately. And I hope you will join our King for brunch. He would be most disappointed otherwise. He is ridiculous and foolish, and talks far too much, but he is also tremendously kind-hearted and wise. I do not know your errand here in Gilgad, but if you wish for any assistance at all, whether in guidance, food, or other supplies, I am certain if you tell him at brunch, he will do all he can to help you.”

“But we just ate,” said Hermione, at the same time as Harry and Ron said in union, “That would be excellent, thanks!”