“Oh, that’s where the camera is!” Andy and Lucifer step out of the elevator into the grand lobby. “Alright, boss. I think I understand this hell phone now.”

“Clever.” Lucifer grins.

“Where to next?” Andy walks backwards into the front door to look at Lucifer as he leaves.

“I thought we’d hit some of the more popular landmarks and important locations for your job and you’re about to hit Lance.” Lucifer reaches out and grabs Andy’s shoulder to stop him. Andy turns around to see he almost ran into a normal looking guy.

“Was that one a human?” Andy points to the coffee drinker.

“Yep, Lance is cool.”

“Do you know everyone’s name here?” Andy squints at his smiling boss.

“Of course! A good leader should know everyone underneath him.” Andy shakes his head around trying neither to agree or disagree and mouths the word ‘yep.’ “Come on! To Centr-hell park.” Lucifer’s attempt at word play sounded as painfully forced as it would seem when reading it. 

“That’s not what it’s called, is it?” Andy doesn’t buy it.

“No. Let’s just go.” Lucifer walks away.

“Good idea.” Andy follows him. 

Lucifer brings Andy down into the sub-subway and heads past the turnstyle. “Are you coming, Andy?”

Andy is standing on the other side, confused as to what to do. “Do I need a metrocard or something?” 

Lucifer points at Andy’s pants. “No, Hell employee’s ride free! Just use your phone on the reader right there,” he moves his finger to a black panel on the turnstyle. Andy shrugs and runs his phone over the black glass. There’s a beep and he’s able to walk straight through. “We gotta take the southbound W a few stops.”

As the train stops in front of the men it’s fuller than the NYC subway during rush hour. Lucifer looks knowingly at Andy and smirks. “Watch this.” Lucifer steps into the crowded car and it transforms into a darkened room with soft blue lights. “Come on in.”

Andy steps off of the platform into the subway equivalent of a limousine. Plush leather seats lined both sides of the car, a TV was mounted on either end and a wet bar was built into the back. Even the floor was wooden. It was beyond fancy. “How?! Is this for all demons?” Andy was touching everything to see if it was real.

Lucifer is cracking up. “No. This is just for me. And my guests of course.” Lucifer unbuttons his jacket and leans back into the leather. “Sit, we have about a fifteen minute ride. Oh, and check it.” Lucifer pulls out his phone and dramatically holds it up, taps the screen, and raises his eyebrows as Sympathy for the Devil starts playing. He holds both hands out in a shrugging gesture. “Eh? Eh?”

Andy smiles and nods slowly, getting faster. “Nice.” Andy held ‘nice’ for way too long. We reduced it here for the sake of readability. 

The two spent the fifteen minutes raucously singing classic rock tunes. They step out laughing and finishing one last chorus of Don’t Stop Believing which only serves to draw the attention of everyone at the crowded subway stop. When the two notice this, they both peter out their singing, clear their throats, and walk past everyone in silence, minus the occasional wave and uncomfortable ‘hey’ to the people staring at them. It was a bonding experience for the two.

As they climb the stairs to street level, Andy sees the “park” that Lucifer must be referring to. It was a simple five by five patch of grass surrounded by a simple metal fence and four gates on each side. “Uh, Lucifer? This isn’t that great of a park if I’m being honest. It’s really just more of a lawn or garden.”

Lucifer laughs at Andy’s ignorance. “Step inside. But not too far.” Andy squints at the smirking man and walks through the nearest gate. The moment he does, the park expands into a gigantic forest. Lucifer walks in behind him and grabs his shoulder. “Pretty fantastic. That said, don’t come in here without your phone charged. You’ll need the GPS cause the park is the size of Rhode Island.”

“What?!” Andy is shocked. “Wait, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore.” Andy’s shock is lessened when he realizes he’s been seeing this all day.

“Alright, let’s go before you get lost.” Lucifer turns around. Andy nods and the men leave. They spend the next hour wandering the city visiting various landmarks and hotspots for both the human and demon crowds. It was an informative tour.

Andy stumbles back into Lucifer’s limo train car and collapses onto the leather seats. “God, my feet are tired.” Lucifer looks at him like he’s a baby. “Oh wait, Becky has probably been texting me pictures for the past hour.”

Sure enough, she had been. She’d sent him various images with accompanying messages. These images and messages included: one of her in his closet full of new dress clothes with the text “Your closet is huge!! Also I got you a bunch of new clothes for work cause you didn’t have many. Your closet is too big for one person tbh!” One was of her lying on top of his bed with “I gave you a super soft mattress!!! You’re gonna love ittt! I’m so jelly.” Finally, one of his bathroom in which she said “Your shower is MASSIVE! You could easily fit two people in here. Also your shower head is so fancy with so many settings.” Her messages included a great number of emojis that bordered on excessive. We’ve done our best to translate the contents here.

“Uhhh. Hey, Lucifer? Do these texts seem suggestive to you?” Andy hands his phone to his boss hoping to get confirmation that the cute girl’s texts were, in fact, flirtatious.

What Andy didn’t know is Lucifer has a rather innocent mind. “Nope. She’s just talking about how nice your apartment is going to be.”

“She’s literally lying on my bed.” Andy is very confused at how nonchalantly Lucifer answered his question. “There’s at least five eggplant emojis in here.”

“Well, four of them were talking about you cooking in your kitchen.” Lucifer shrugs and grins like he’d just solved a great mystery.

“They were talking about how she wanted to cook in that kitchen! Also she said… Especially breakfast! How is that not flirting?” Andy throws his hands up and lets go of his phone so it bounces on the seat next to him.

“I don’t know, Andy. I think she’s just talking about how nice she made your apartment.” Lucifer looks like his brain is frying in confusion.

“I’ll just ask Greg when we get to the bar.” Andy grabs his phone and slides it back into his pocket before putting his feet up and lying down. 

“Yeah that’s probably a better idea.” Lucifer lies down across from Andy. “Though I still think it’s nothing.”